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Definitely true. I find too that we find it easier to be firm at the same time as being polite. “No, that isn’t how it works. Let me explain it to you…” - this can come across as being helpful rather than bossy if using the right tone of voice and facial expressions.
I have sometimes wondered if some hosts have a problem saying no?
I can only guess from posts here, but it seems to me that hosts are becoming more entitled. “The guest did x without asking my permission!” “The guests didn’t empty the bathroom waste bin!” “The guest arrived an hour late without telling me!”
My mum was a devoted school teacher. Loved her students. Had no problem saying no to her kids.
Me: “Ooh are those Easter eggs for us!”
Mum: “No they’re for my students. Have a block of Cadbury’s”.
Seems so. I’ve read a lot of posts from home share hosts over the years who ask for advice on how to talk to their guests about some behavior. Like the guests are taking over the kitchen for 2 hours every night and the host is complaining they can’t get in to make their own dinner. The host will say the guests have already been there for a week, and are booked for another week.
The host will say they hate confrontation. Well, yeah, if you let something go on for a week that’s unacceptable to you, feeling like your home has been taken over by your guests, getting more and more irritated, it’s going to feel like a confrontation.
I don’t quite understand why they can’t just say, after the first night the guests obliviously hogged the kitchen for 2 hours at dinnertime, “Hey, guys, I need to make my dinner, too. I see you really like to cook, so let’s work out a schedule.”
Or just go in, ask them to clear some counterspace so you can prepare your food at the same time. If a host feels intimidated to go in their own kitchen if guests are in there, home-sharing probably isn’t something they’re suited for.
It’s also really unfair to guests for hosts to seethe in silence and then slam the guests in the review, when the guest might very likely have said “Oh, sorry, yeah, we just assumed you’d already eaten since it was pretty late.”
That happened to one of my really nice guests at another place she’d stayed. Host said nothing during the stay, then left a critical review.
I host guests in my small home and it’s almost impossible to avoid interaction; however, I still communicate all “business” exclusively through text, usually referring back to - or amplifying - house rules. That way I can take time to choose my words and avoid confrontation.
Why would you choose to home-share if you’d prefer to avoid interaction? I can’t imagine not just speaking up directly to my home share guests if something they were doing was bothering me.
The only time I texted a guest about her behavior was because she wasn’t home at the time. She’d brought some guy home with her the night before at 3 am, they’d been loud and woken me up. When I got up in the morning, they’d already gone out, so I texted her letting her know that wasn’t okay and that she couldn’t bring other people here.
She apologized and we got along fine for the rest of her stay.
I once read, probably here, of a host who called Airbnb because their guests were making too much noise. The guests were in the same house. The host could have simply gone upstairs and knocked on the door but they expected Airbnb to do something about it. Unbelievable really.
One of our apartments is diagonally opposite my own. The other is right next door. So although I no longer host in my home, I’m right on the spot, and any guests who don’t behave acceptably have me banging on their door right away.
I can just picture the CS rep rolling their eyes and trading stories around the water cooler. “Hey, guys, a host just called wanting me to tell the guest to remember to flush the toilet.”
Make sure you are mindful of this type of inquiry. I’ve read two stories where a host got an inquiry for a shorter stay than the listing’s minimum, the host declined, so the guest booked for the minimum, THEN the guest checked-in and made up an issue after staying the number of nights they wanted in the first place. In one case, the guest got a full refund and the other the guest got a refund for unused nights.
Depends on the guests, certainly. Historically, I get lots of young folks doing business in & around SFO who seem to appreciate less contact after a quick meet & greet. I don’t use IB or self check-in.
Of course I interact happily with vacation travelers, travelers from abroad - anyone who seeks or responds enthusiastically to actual hosting! And I’m talking rare occurrences of tiny things that could go on a sticky note or a bit of noise after posted quiet time.
Do I want to get out of bed, shuffle to their door, annoyed, and have a conversation? Not at 10 pm. Do I want to let it go and say something in the a.m.? I have tenants who could be affected so, no. It’s easier and, I believe, less unpleasant for all to type a couple of friendly words with a —-and it’s done!
Okay, I misunderstood. When you said it’s almost impossible to avoid interaction, that sounds like you would prefer to avoid interaction.
If a guest was being a bit noisy after I went to sleep, I’d just put in my earplugs and talk to them about it in the morning.
It just seems bizarre to me to message or text someone who is in the same house. If the guest’s and my schedule meant we were hardly ever home at the same time during waking hours, then I can see it being necessary.
We too have a 2 night minimum during off season, and 3-5 night minimum for some holidays…I have made exceptions in the winter months, for mid week stays, but they still pay the full cleaning fee and I charge them $50 more for the hassle. If the property is ready I’ll do it
I found it! Thanks for sharing, this is too great.
“I am interested in booking your cottage. Looks very nice. I do wonder why there is a guest limit. Your place has 2 bathrooms which others in the area do not have and those one bathroom places sleep 6-8 people. We plan to bring between 5-7 family members and our dog a 50lb well-trained lab. I am doing you the service of booking with you so I would like to understand why you wouldn’t allow me to bring more people to align with other places I am looking at. I wouldn’t want to lose the money if I were you. Please respond soon as I am making my decision. Thanks!”"
I am one of the most guest friendly/sympathetic hosts that posts on this forum. But this absolutely rubs me the wrong way. I don’t know if I’d just decline the booking and block off the dates so they would quit “advising” me or if I would take the time to write them a long reply.
*“Dear Audacia, Thanks for your interest in our cottage. As you can see I’ve been hosting 7 years and in that time I’ve hosted 100s of groups. Some larger groups assured me, as you have, that they were a prized guest who would respect our beloved space. Sadly, most of the groups over 6 have not been good guests. Our favorite bookings are two to four. So we have set limits for the benefit of both ourselves and our guests. I know you will find this hard to believe, but we are doing you a service by declining your request. It’s in everyone’s best interest if both the guest and the host have an optimal experience. However, since you’ve taken the time to write I am willing to make an exception for your group. I’ve sent you a special offer which should cover the average excess costs for a group of your size.”
Then I’d send an offer with a hefty surcharge. After an hour I’d block part of the dates they requested and send a message saying “sorry, another booking came in.”
Yes, that Inquiry is the epitome of demanding entitlement.
The host wrote back in a very professional and restrained way. The response to that from these jerks was that the host needed a lesson in customer service and that the host missed out on the $.
Meanwhile that host has an almost full calendar, constantly.
—-and it’s done!