Inconsiderate guest - review

Oh really? Thank you for sharing that.
Perhaps he just misused the British slang a little…I just couldn’t fathom how on any level we could refer to said guest as a dog’s body! For tapping the fridge shut?!

I re-read it and I don’t see it as referring to you.

Anyway, I think you should move on both from Ken’s comment and this guest.

A guest can leave a comment whenever they’re awake. They didn’t ask you to address the issue immediately. Some people keep long hours and want to leave a message while they’re up and remember it. I would not leave a comment that the guest left too many messages. It’s a style thing. With their being there for five weeks it’s sensible to communicate to get things right, and things weren’t 100% no matter the daily rate.

Be light-hearted about this, chuckle about it. Think of The Odd Couple.

Get a new clothes horse (or fix it) and if late messages bother you, say something in your pre-check-in letter something like “Please communicate with me freely face to face or on the platform, but unless you mark the message as “URGENT” please know I’ll respond to your message between (list hours, like 8 am - 5 pm).”

My reading is that this was a good guest, nothing to complain about. If you disagree, then lay out ground rules for communicating.

It’s the holiday and time for miracles.


We’re being trolled.


Thank you I agree with everything you’ve said. I’m not sure if you have live in guests, but unfortunately they do seem to expect instant replies. This one did. She’d knock on my door if she didn’t get one. I have already changed my rules to say non urgent things please wait til daytime! This was a first for me, but an important lesson learned.

Peace and happy holidays to you :christmas_tree:


To be honest I think you are overreacting . There’s not really anything wrong with her messaging.

I didn’t understand the part about the coffee jar. Sensible for her to ask how to dispose of broken glass safely .

I wouldn’t mark her down for communication.


Nope, didn’t come across like that at all, he was referring to the doctor taking on the role of overseeing all the little tasks she thought you should be doing.

This woman just sounds like the type who thinks its her job to point out to others that they’re not doing things properly and how she has fixed it.
“XX had lots of suggestions for how to run my household.”

I don’t think there is anything wrong with telling you the hand soap had run out, although her timing may have been a bit insensitive, however she knew you were awake. And I don’t get how asking for more hand soap is a stressor, just because you had just dealt with a flood. That emergency was already dealt with.

I don’t understand why you don’t check soap containers, etc. daily. Making sure guests have the basics, without having to ask, has nothing to do with how much they paid for the room.

And I don’t understand the coffee maker lid “stuck” in the glass and why you wouldn’t have removed it when putting away the clean dishes. (I put away my guests’ clean dishes all the time, as they put away mine. I don’t get why that’s any issue at all)
And it seems responsible for a guest to ask where to put a broken glass, so no one cuts themselves on it, certainly not a cause for annoyance.

I am a home share host, and guests have never had to tell me something has run out. And no, my guests don’t send me messages during their stay- they talk to me. And no guest has ever bothered me at odd hours.


To me, it sounds like you have some very strict but completely undisclosed boundaries. If you don’t want whatever you believe is too many messages then you should make that very clear upfront. And by upfront, I mean before a guest books. You’ll need to put it in your listing, I suppose in your House Rules.

  1. Guests are not allowed to send me too many messages. I can’t say how many is too many but just don’t do it.

  2. Guests are not allowed to send me messages that I don’t find relevant. Obviously, what I find relevant surely fluctuates and you have no way of knowing what is or isn’t, but just don’t do it. I urge you to err on the side of caution and see rule #1 above.

Or a house rule that simply says , “I prefer to only be contacted by guests during business hours or for urgent matters”. And even then you will have to be flexible with people because broken glass will be considered an urgent matter for some guests but not for others.

Personally, I find all of those rules off-putting and unwelcoming so I wouldn’t have those rules even if I actually felt that way. But without the rule(s) being stated, I certainly wouldn’t expect guests to follow them. It’s not fair or honest. So, I think you have a choice to make.

I almost understand why it felt inconsiderate to you. But your problems are not her problems and I think what you’re missing is that she likely believed it was as good a time as any because you were in and out of your study. She knew that you weren’t sleeping and wouldn’t be waking you. And that is its own kind of consideration. It’s subjective.

She prioritized being conscientious. Most of the stuff she contacted you about, especially the broken glass, sounds like stuff she felt she should tell you because it would be the right thing to do to tell you. And you prioritized your personal time and what you consider to be politeness. But I don’t doubt that she believes she was polite.

The bottom line, as a host, I don’t need to know any of this. And, as a fellow host, I personally think that mentioning it in the review will reflect more poorly on you than on her.

Besides, I bet that if she didn’t message you and instead gave you a bad review mentioning all of this stuff that you’d be on here complaining about the lack of messaging.


I think it might be something at at home hosts experience differently. Of the hundreds of guests I’ve hosted, I’ve never had so many messages, and for sure not in the evening. It’s different from when you live elsewhere, as an instant response seems to be expected, or else a knock on the door, although they’ve been asked to message me not knock.

When I have a something to tell a guest also, I try to do so in person so as to limit the messaging and afford the guests more space. Now that I’ve had this experience I know to edit my rules. Still learning after hundreds of guests!

Put it like this, as an in home host, it was a highly unusual amount of texts. It felt intrusive. I’m leaving a review for other hosts, I wondered how to convey my experience. My understanding from other at home hosts I’ve known so far, is that they might want to know that.

As a homeshare host myself, there is nothing about this guest’s behavior as you describe it, that I would need to be warned about, nor would I decline her as a guest. You ask guests to message you, so that’s what she did. Perhaps a bit excessive, perhaps a bit annoying, but no big deal.

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Ok, it’s difficult to tell if it was too many from your post and of course too many is not the same for everyone. Probably the best place to convey your concern about it will be in the new review system where you tick “other” (I think it’s called that) under Communication and you can type in that you felt the communication was excessive and intrusive. Have you seen the new review system, how it displays? This seems perfect for that.

edit to add: If you haven’t seen it yet then here is a good pic of what it looks like. The comment about the guest smoking was typed into the “other” spot.

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I, like many here, am also an ‘in home’ host.

There is no such thing as too many texts from a guest providing information about their stay and my space. Out of an amenity? I need to know. My ‘clothes horse’ is broken? I need to know. A broken glass in the space? I need to know. No hot water? I need to know RIGHT THEN even at ‘midnight’.

This is an excellent guest.


I think I did explain that I was helpful with the clothes horse. No problem with the information. Didn’t understand why after I’d done everything I could she needed to message me five mins after I left to tell me she was having trouble with it!

Guess we are all different and it’s whatever works for you from your own experience. But always open to making changes based on new experiences.

For me, you broke my glass? Ok no worries Chuck it or ask me tomorrow to Chuck it for you.

No problem with the hot water information. Definitely wouod want to know that. Follow up after midnight that the hand soap is finished, calling out in to the hallway. Unusual. From my experience.

Text to say that the fairy liquid is finished when it’s far from. Don’t need it!

I guess we have different ideas of an excellent guest. Or it might be one thing hearing and imagining versus experiencing. Not sure

I would let go. The guest was needy but that’s her personality. She’s trying to be helpful since she’s so detailed oriented.

It might be her upbringing. Maybe her parents made her that way or perhaps living with roommates during medical school.

Whatever caused her to be so needy might just be an annoying personality trait. I wouldn’t mention it in a review.

I’m a teacher and sometimes have students with peculiar annoying habits. I don’t mention it at all when I have parent-teacher conferences. I just focus on what really matters: poor study skills, difficulties completing tasks, failing tests, etc.

This guest seems like she was quiet, tidy and followed house rules. Annoying, yes! but didn’t make a mess and didn’t disrespect your home or house rules.


Wow, could this be interpreted as the pot calling the kettle black? No disrespect intended, just chuckling here😂

It would be the pot calling the kettle black if I were truly calling Ken wordy. AND it would be ridiculous because Ken is not wordy, at all.

But since we’re down this road, I think it’s fair to point out that Ken is often indirect (Can anyone EVER figure out his position?). His reasoning is too often convoluted. He shies away from taking a position on things. He just doesn’t speak his mind. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I’m sure you all realize how true this rings. Maybe @mollimac most of all.

@mollimac , Please know I’m kidding on all of this and that Ken is the very opposite of all I’ve said. @muddy advised me to use emojis to show when I am kidding, but I guess it didn’t work here.

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I’m a homeshare host so understand having guests in my home. I don’t ask guests to message but talk to me if they need something.

Some guests are more needy than others. That doesn’t mean they deserved to be marked down in a review .


If it is open to interpretation, a lot of very smart people here disagree with yours. I’m not saying I am a smart person, but I don’t read it as referring to you.

As for the guest and the review – when we open our doors to the public, we need to learn to simply be bemused when we encounter otherwise pleasant, intelligent people who are a bit socially awkward, and be philosophical & bemused (“it takes all types”) rather than annoyed. If your guest’s biggest sin was that she was chatty – a bad review would be, in my humble opinion, mean-spirited.


Reasonable reaction I thought your reaction was completely reasonable. I’ve had guests like that who seem to have a need to question everything and ask about everything to the point of madness. I get that when it’s happening in real time it can be a major frustration and annoyance. I would think of someway to mention it in your review. It doesn’t have to be nasty. Perhaps something like, “was careful to ask for instructions and to point out issues.” I don’t know. It can be a real quandary. In any case, you don’t sound nasty and shouldn’t be put on the defensive by fellow hosts. That’s not helpful or necessary.

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Part of being a great host is to learn to be flexible. There’s only one of you and you’re going to have so many guests with different personalities so you’re the one who needs to adapt and change. I’ve had some very cringey high maintenance guests and I just grin and bear it. It’s all a part of providing customer service to strangers.