Inconsiderate guest - review

I need to write a review for a guest and would welcome thoughts on how to word it. Curious to hear opinions too.

She is a recently (US) qualified doctor, here to do exams so that she can practice in the UK. Five week stay. No apparent studying going on, and seemed to be around a lot.

My issue was that I felt she sent me way to omany completely unnecesary messages. Sometimes, it came across that she was just making a point. For example on her second night she texted me to tell me that I hadn’t closed the door to my fridge properly/ some items too near edge so needed moving, and so she moved a couple of things in the fridge and shut the door!
Okay, Thanks?!

She was in a small single room and she said no space for the clothes horse (airer?) so could she put it in my (small) laundry room. I said ok. But once I was preparing the room for her to hand her stuff, I put the clothes horse up and noticed one small piece had come off. This meant that it worked but had a little less space that usual. I tried to fix it, which she knew. I assured her I would get a new one the next day. I set it up so that it was all ready for her. I was there when she came to hang her laundry. Then after 15 mins of helping her at about 10pm, as soon as I came back downstairs and sat down I got a message from her saying that it really wasn’t working! i went back up to ask if something else had broken. No! There were comments such as ‘I am not sure if another guest has the other one’ (I have several but it was 10pm).

On the day before she left, she messaged me to say that the washing up liquid was empty! But there was plenty in there for the next day!

Another time a message at 9.30pm saying ‘I think we should throw this broken glass away’. I had put away her washing up as she had not done so. In one glass was her personal coffee maker lid - it had got stuck. I just put both in cupboard and thoght she could pull it out of the glass, I was already clearning up after her. I told her sure chuck it. She replies ‘how? What can I put it in?’ I told her if she can’t find anything just tuck it away and I will deal with it in the morning. She replies ‘where can I tuck it’. I replied can we deal with this in the morning. She answered ‘sure I just didn’t want anyone to get injured!’ And commented ‘I am not sure who put it in there!’

I got messages when I was out asking if there was another freezer! Nope just the one! I get it, you want me to move stuff. And once a message about no washing up brush, unhygenic, what can I do, and I go in and the brush is right there in front of her. Instead of ‘oh sorry’, it was ‘but it wasn’t there yesterday was it’ .

Another time I had an emergency flooding at midnight. Quite scary. Once I had it turned off, I saw her (as she had just texted me to say no hot water - at midnight), and explained that this was quite a dramatic scary flood. You could see it had been stressful for me. My neighbour than fixes the hot water and I go back to my study. Then I can hear her talking and I realise she is calling at me even though I can’t see her. I come out of my study. She tells me handwash is finished. I give her a new one. Then she tells me (eyes popping out of head), that she is surprised (but stunned by the look on her face) noone had told me already that it was finished as it had run out that morning!

Sorry far too lengthy message but don’t know how else to explain. I thought she was inconsiderate and needy. And not very resourceful. She paid £35 a night for a very comfortable place (and she told me that), who troubles someone who has just had an emergency at midnight, over the handwash?

I also felt that she was making digs, ‘points’, which I did not appreciate.

Should also say she had a nice manner, and said many positive things about her stay here. So she wasn’t unbearable!

Well, this reminds me of the play, then movie The Odd Couple. [Or is it ‘No Exit’?]

It surely sounds exasperating, especially over five weeks, but this guest sounds well meaning even if she got on your nerves.

Write a nice review about her good points. Leave out the rest.

In days to come you’ll find yourself chuckling over this.

Consider writing.

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Too many messages… Needy? Lonely? Focused on being a Physician rather than a resourceful general dogsbody? Or just a Stranger In A Stranger Land trying to figure out how you lot on that side of The Pond do what it is you do with things?

IMHO you seem to be the sensitive one, overreacting to messages. If I were in the energy crunch you are, I’d be glad someone let me know the fridge was open and wasting electricity and that she fixed it for you. That sounds “considerate” to me; not “inconsiderate”. If she were inconsiderate she’d just have dumped things any old place rather than trying to figure out just how the heck you want things to be.

How to Review? Short and factual. The review is for your fellow Hosts not the Guest.

“Guest was pleasant enough but sent a lot of messages.”

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Did you just call me a dog’s body and compare that to her qualification as a doctor?

I’ll be curious on the reply. Is this a matter of predictive auto typing or a local expression?

For example, you used ‘clothes horse’ in the sense of a drying rack. But clothes horse in the U.S. usually refers to a person who has LOTS of clothes, someone into/obsessed with fashion.

You can be sure that @KenH did not just call you a dog’s body (I don’t even know what that would mean). I got the sense of ‘do-gooder’ as the intended meaning — but let’s see!

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Yes for sure! Always get laughs out of these stories! Just last night at the pub we had a chuckle over this one. I used to be like Ken, always airing in favour of doctors as … they are doctors!! One dick pic, countless excruciating phone tours of multiple perspective flats (with racist commentary), and a zillion pointless late night texts later, I no longer put them on that pedestal!

Hi thanks for your message. I’ve heard of that definition for clothes horse too (into fashion). And we also interchange between clothes horse and airer.

Dogs body is British slang. You can tell because the phrase was in the context of a comparison, what was meant.

I try to be fair when I ask for input on a guest. I don’t think I was mean about her. I just stated facts. It was unpleasant to get that response. If anyone can advise what I need to do to avoid such reactions I’d like to know!

Nothing. This is the internet and anyone can post what they want. If they violate the forum TOS the message might be removed but it has to be posted first meaning you won’t be able to avoid it.

But only opinions of a certain sort?

And I see what Ken is saying about you being too sensitive. Your detailing of her messages says to me that you and this guest are very much alike and ironically, that’s where the rub is.

I don’t see where he favored her just because she is a doctor any more than I would say you disfavor her because she’s a doctor. If anything I don’t see that her job or education is relevant to the conversation at all.

Frankly I think the guest is annoying as can be and I see why you don’t want to host her again. But it’s tricky evaluating someone’s personality. As Ken says what you find annoying seems considerate to him. And if you don’t want messages late at night, nip it in the bud right away. Tell the guest, don’t message me after 10 pm unless it’s an emergency. A clothes horse with a missing piece and no hot water means that everything isn’t perfect there but you think she should overlook it due to the low price. If a DR. sent me dick pics and were racist, I’d have a bias too but unless it was THIS Dr., don’t take it out on her.

Ken’s review is a good one.

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No not at all. I welcome all opinions. But I’m not a fan of put downs or name calling

So Ken is referring to the Dr as a dogsbody because she is too focused on menial tasks like closing the refrigerator and tossing a broken glass and you think he’s insulting her? And you want to avoid anyone talking about your guests like that even though you made a long list of complaints about her?

You are really wound up pretty tight. I know you’ll take that as an insult but sometimes one must call it as they see it.

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No you seem to have misunderstood somehow. Ken referred to me as a dog’s body, not my guest!

No, he didn’t. The entire paragraph is speculating on the the Dr. Ken is a professional writer and he isn’t slinging thoughts together haphazardly, referring to the Dr. in one sentence and then you, then back to the Dr.

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I don’t really understand Ken’s dogs body comment but I can tell you that I’ve never seen him make a disparaging comment about anyone here. I just wish he were less wordy! :rofl:

He’s referring to me. It’s a straightforward sentence

You are wrong. I’m gobsmacked by your obstinate insistence on a point where you are so wrong that I’m embarrassed for you.

I’m beginning to think this is some sort of joke post in which you are trying it on with the forum to see if you can stir up some drama.

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Oh really? Thank you for sharing that.
Perhaps he just misused the British slang a little…I just couldn’t fathom how on any level we could refer to said guest as a dog’s body! For tapping the fridge shut?!

I re-read it and I don’t see it as referring to you.

Anyway, I think you should move on both from Ken’s comment and this guest.

A guest can leave a comment whenever they’re awake. They didn’t ask you to address the issue immediately. Some people keep long hours and want to leave a message while they’re up and remember it. I would not leave a comment that the guest left too many messages. It’s a style thing. With their being there for five weeks it’s sensible to communicate to get things right, and things weren’t 100% no matter the daily rate.

Be light-hearted about this, chuckle about it. Think of The Odd Couple.

Get a new clothes horse (or fix it) and if late messages bother you, say something in your pre-check-in letter something like “Please communicate with me freely face to face or on the platform, but unless you mark the message as “URGENT” please know I’ll respond to your message between (list hours, like 8 am - 5 pm).”

My reading is that this was a good guest, nothing to complain about. If you disagree, then lay out ground rules for communicating.

It’s the holiday and time for miracles.

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We’re being trolled.

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Thank you I agree with everything you’ve said. I’m not sure if you have live in guests, but unfortunately they do seem to expect instant replies. This one did. She’d knock on my door if she didn’t get one. I have already changed my rules to say non urgent things please wait til daytime! This was a first for me, but an important lesson learned.

Peace and happy holidays to you :christmas_tree:

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