How Would You Improve this Messaging? [Constructive Criticism Only Please]

Introduction
22

These are very good, sturdy light fixtures. I’ll later attach a picture. They’re just not meant to be sat upon or used as a ladder and it is incredible that a few people have done so. None so since the sign.

We have considered a low fence on just the one part of the landscaping that people tend to want walk on, what we call the ‘parkway,’ which is nearest the street curb. So we might well do that.

On stone or gravel hardscaping. The sedum is very attractive, good for the environment, requires little in water or fertilizer, provides drainage for water. FYI: some jurisdictions (not ours) have laws/regulations that restrict the amount of hardscape because hardscape can create water runoff. Some in the US, I’ve been told, are beginning to tax annually some kinds of hardscape for this reason.

23

So, not utensils – everyday spoons, knives and forks – but kitchen knives and such. Our cutting knives came with these instructions. See also: Why You Should Never Put Knives in the Dishwasher

Yes, this was a tip from a plumber. It’s not about what the dishwasher is equipped go do but the pipes into which it empties. I recently learned that this was a best practice according to this plumber. I have not been able to validate it but it seems sensible.

The ‘scrape and rinse’ suggestion was in the dishwasher manual but I understand that this is a debated issue as to rinsing (not scraping); I followed the manual for the dishwasher.

It’s really not easier to wash the dishes by hand than to follow the instructions, but I get your point that it does remove some of the perceived benefits of the dishwasher.

You raise an interesting point. All the safety organizations recommend that wherever you lodge that you think through your potential exit points and identify an evacuation route and meeting point. If you read more they usually suggest agreeing upon a fallback meeting point if the primary meeting point is unsafe or unavailable.

Most of us ‘kind of know’ most people don’t do that. That doesn’t make that a safe practice. By this suggestion (not a rule) I provide a suggestion for meeting point, and a fallback, which I have thought through as a long-term resident here. That feels like the root of hospitality and care for our guests: their safety. I know it ‘feels’ too much or maybe concerned with technicalities. But fires really do happen; people really die or become injured by them; these are real risks; governmental/safety organizations really do recommend these steps. Who am I to laugh off or ignore their recommendations?

I feel safety is an important part of hospitality, really essential. Even if we don’t get credit for it or get more bookings for it or have commercial insurance. It’s not just about covering our ass or fattening our wallets. This is an important discussion.

24

I’ll answer from a guests point of view.

Number 6 is almost perfect. I’d take out the line about toiletries. For people who aren’t planning on loading up on extra stuff it makes no sense. For people who are, well that line won’t stop them. Other than that, that message, with the bullet points and asking about anything that needs attention is easy to follow and shows you care.

As a guest I’m not sure what I am supposed to do with number 7. I’d just drop that one. The information can be in the house manual in a section “about us”

Number 8 is also pretty good. The first line could use fewer words, “Please review your stay”, but other than that it’s very nice.

The longs ones before that are confusing. I am trying to scan for things I need before I get there, or once I’m there and there is a lot of information. For instance, when talking about the kitchen amenities you started with how low the oven can heat. What percentage of the folks coming to your place would consider that the first question they have about your kitchen? I’m guessing none.

The one amenity I would be wondering about for the kitchen is what do I need to do to make me a coffee first thing in the morning. And I came out confused. You have coffee, but it is special. Do you want people to use that coffee? You have containers for people to bring their own coffee. Now are there places to get special coffee around there? Or are you thinking people will bring coffee but not containers? There is a Nesspresso but no mention of pods. Are there pods? Somehow sometimes you have so much information its not enough.

And the rules that are important to you, the no shoes inside rule, is mentioned in more than a few communications, but always at the bottom. If you mean it, put it at the top, in shorter communications. I quit reading before getting to that, though kudos to those that made it farther and mentioned it in the comments.

1 Like
25

Criticism from a 35 year Technical Writing career and 7 year AirBnb Superhost. Take it or leave it:

WAY TOO WORDY!!! Even the first message is off-putting, and I personally would just ignore subsequent messages. If you can’t boil things down to a paragraph (at most two) people just won’t read it – and maybe not even then.

If those are you messages, I shudder to think how wordy your listing must me!

4 Likes
26

How’s this for the first letter? I know I’m still exceeding your two paragraph rule. Thank you for your feedback.

Dear short code start
[guest first name]short code end

Here’s a partial list of the things we stock, the one thing you might want to bring and a standing invitation to ask questions and make requests.

Kitchen. If you’re a cook you’ve selected the right place! You’ll find a well-stocked kitchen in terms of appliances, kitchen gadgets and shelf-stable pantry. Ask if you’d like more details.

You’ll have plenty of charger ports for your electronics in each bedroom, Apple’s HomePod minis in each bedroom, bathroom, kitchen; an Alexa Echo Show 8 in the kitchen.

The projection TV has cable service from Spectrum with ESPN, Netflix, HBO, an AppleTv to give you access to YouTube and internet. You can plug in your computer or Firestick to the Marantz receiver to broadcast your screen or use your own home entertainment sources.

You’ll find a starter pack of two rolls of toilet paper and one of paper towels, napkins.

You can use salts and oils you bring/buy in the jetted tub but do not run the jets with them in the water because that will damage the system.

We have two umbrellas for your use.

→ The one thing you should be sure to bring are slippers, also flip-flops in summer. We have hard wood floors, which are easily scratched/marred by grit in shoes [which cannot be worn in the house].

If you’d like to ship anything here in advance, feel free to do so (boxes no more than 25#), addressed to Glenn XXXX [he’s my co-Host], and we’ll have it inside for you when you come.

If you’d like to order groceries, say from Instacart, for your day of arrival, we’ll take in your groceries and put them in the refrigerator/freezer, or on the counter for you. Just let us know so we can be sure to be home for the time frame you select (starting at or after 10 am). No extra charges for any of this.

We want your stay to be super comfortable and enjoyable. Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you need anything at all, have questions on using the appliances, or questions about the area (remember our guidebook in the app).

:heart: [Host name]

1 Like
27

Oh? That’s interesting. How do you do that? Is it password protected? In a website?

28

Well, my flight is delayed and I have some time, so I’ll take a stab at offering some alternative messages.

  1. 14 days out - don’t send anything. I wouldn’t invite guests to ship packages. If they want to ship something, they’ll ask.

  2. 7 days out -
    We look forward to your arrival at our home [address, if they need it] on [date].
    To help you plan your stay, we have a guidebook to Worcester. It’s on the airbnb app or here: [insert link to website page]
    Please remember we don’t allow shoes indoor, so if you don’t want to use a pair of the slippers we provide, please bring your own.
    Feel free to contact me if you have questions or there is something you need.
    {take out the heart - too cutesy for a professional business}

  3. 1 day before
    We look forward to your arrival tomorrow. Here’s some information to make your arrival stress-free:

  • Address is [address]
  • Your home is UP the stairs.
  • Your parking space is on the LEFT side of the house as you face the house.
  • The code for the keypad is XXXXX and will be active starting at 4 pm.
  • Side gate to the backyard has code XXXX; turn handle down.
  • The WiFi network is XXX and the password is YYY.
    If you have any problems or questions, you can contact Glenn through the AirBnB app or at [phone number]. He’s just downstairs and is available 24/7 {hopefully you mean that!}

  1. Delete this one. It’s beating them over the head. If you must do something, in note number 3, remind them to review the house rules.

  2. Morning after check in
    Good morning! Welcome to our home. Is everything as you expected?

  3. day before checkout
    We hope you’ve enjoyed your stay. A quick reminder that check out is at 10 AM. If you are leaving earlier, we’d appreciate you letting us know that today.
    Please lock up when you leave by pressing the RED AUGUST logo on the keypad.
    Thank you for choosing our home for your stay in Worcester, and we wish you pleasant travels.

  4. Delete - doesn’t add value to guest.

  5. If you want a review from them:
    We hope your travels home were pleasant and thank you again for selecting our home.
    We’d greatly appreciate just a few more minutes of your time to give us a review. And if there’s anything we should have done differently, we’d love to hear that from you, too.

3 Likes
29

WOW. Thank you. Sorry about your flight.

1 Like
30

No, that isn’t any better at all. You still aren’t “getting” it.
All of the above can be condensed to:

None of it.

They have already booked your place. They have already read the amenities list. Why are you telling them any of this?

They will find where the charging ports are when they arrive. There isn’t any need to tell them ahead of time.

And you are still writing in sentences and paragraphs. Do you understand what bullet point form is?

Why should I be “sure to bring” slippers? I haven’t owned or worn slippers since I was 5 years old. And I wouldn’t wear flip flops or any other kind of footwear in the house. I don’t wear shoes in the house- I am barefoot or if it’s chilly, I’ll be in socks.

Stop telling guests how to live, what to bring, what to wear, as if they are children. Just say “No shoes in house”.

But you already said to hand wash knives. Then you say to hand wash “kitchen tools”- what are kitchen tools if not utensils?

3 Likes
31

It’s getting more readable. Just the like the furniture moving thing, I notice you’re giving guests options on the jetted tub. They are going to be in a new, unfamiliar place and sorting through options requires mental energy they won’t have. Suggest you just say “Please no bath bombs, salts or oils in the jetted tub.” If you want to soften it, add humor. “It makes our plumber cry.”

I’m wondering if we’re looking through the wrong end of the telescope here. What I think you really want is for people who will appreciate and respect your meticulous maintenance and precision, to book with you. As I was reading, I was imagining Martha Stewart checking in, or the Downton Abbey crowd packing up to stay at your Airbnb. “Carson, has the grocer’s order been placed for our arrival?” “Yes, m’lady.”

How could you attract the demographic that knows as a matter of course that one does not put carbon steel knives in the dishwasher? And cares about high end toiletries?

Raise your rates?
Put something upfront in your listing description? “I’m a meticulous host who loves meticulous guests.” That would clue me in not to book the stag party group with you.
“We provide well-curated amenities and a high level of professional, personal service. We appreciate our esteemed guests who treat the property with the same care and respect that we extend to them.” Hmmm, you’re probably not the sort of host who’s going to share a pizza delivery and a bong with me while my dog eats the pepperonis that fall on the floor.

6 Likes
32

“Please contact us if you need information about anything in our listing”

5 Likes
35

I love this and am using it.

'Love this too! Thank you.

Message received. Yes, I agree with you on just saying ‘no shoes in house’ and not telling them what to bring.

This is very funny. But you and others have made the point that they know this from the listing. But some was not in the listing. So I have completely eliminated the first message, added that some of the language of what is provided in the listing and invited in the listing “ask for details.”

Yep, I cut it. I took many of your suggestions, including deleting

#7. I haven’t deleted #4 yet, but I shortened it. I’m thinking that if/when I put a short list on the refrigerator I might then delete it. Thank you very much for your time here.

Yeah, when I come up for air after this exercise I’ll be showing this group the listing. I’m not Kreskin but I feel I can see the future! [I am wondering whether I should try to fix it first with bullet points or whether I’d be depriving some of you from great fun. One excerpt: " Swim, splash, float or just be — it’s up to you."]

@Charmed59 Thank you for your perspective. My first instinct – surprise – was to explain but on reflection I cut out a lot of the language. I think they’ll figure it out. [We do provide a sleeve of Nespresso pods.]

I wish you would be more direct.

I did understand you. Also understood:

LOL.

Wait till you get to the listing. No bullet points at all. You’ll have fun then!

Yep.

VERY INTRIGUED. Would love to learn more.

No I don’t. But you gave me another laugh here. [I wanted to say ‘yes’ just to see what you’d say.]

Hadn’t considered how it looks on a phone! THAT is a strong argument for bullet points.

THANK YOU ALL.

I’ve made many changes. But it’s like decluttering; it’s an iterative process. I’m thinking also of creating a website where I could put in details, electronic copies of manuals etc. but because it’s not pushed on guests that way a message is my sense is that it would not be off-putting.

Again, THANK YOU.

1 Like
36

Tried to book a place as a guest last year. After booking and reading some of the rules telling you which way to use a squeegee on a glass shower. How to clean off the kitchen counter in a certain way.

Some may consider these small things, but I cancelled the reservation. No one wants a list of how to do these things as if we’re idiots.

The OT’s place, I wouldn’t give it a second glance.

6 Likes
37

My listing is not written in bullet point form, either.
But if I had a bunch of extra information I wanted to convey to guests in messages, that would be.

As far as the long list of kitchen gear you
feel you need to tell guests about, I don’t understand why “fully equipped kitchen” is not sufficient.

I’m sure you have heard the host mantra “Underpromise and overdeliver”. Guests will be much more wowed if they find a bunch of extras that they didn’t expect.

38

I actually have a small sign above the sink saying “ we are in the mountains - and the plumbing is very delicate - no grease or food down the drains.

I had to after a guest I think went on a bacon fiesta and literally clogged the drain completely with bacon grease.

2 Likes
39

I send three messages. One is the automatic one when somebody books. The second telling them how to get to the apartment and access information (including there is a keypad lock on the apartment front door), and some basic parking information and then on the day of check-in the code. I wait until then because in the past a guest actually checked in the day before they were supposed to which surprised me when I went in early one morning to find people sleeping there!

All other information I provide in a house manual which I leave on the coffee table.

Guests don’t read emails. I have had several instances where they call me when they standing outside the front door and ask for the code when I had sent it already!

1 Like
40

I’ve been working to declutter my website. Every time I refresh it (about once a year) I try to make things more concise. You are welcome to take a look: Villa Grand Piton

3 Likes
41

You definitely need to Marie Kondo these messages. Anything important is going to be buried and missed. Keep it simple- as a guest I’d probably just ask for the cliff-notes or skip it entirely. If your house isn’t set-up to be intuitive then as a host it’s best to resolve before guests start booking instead of relying on lengthy directions and details that they won’t read.

3 Likes
42

WOW! It’s a beautiful, beautiful place and a beautiful and uncluttered website.

So, given all the kitchen equipment you have, if the guests have questions on how to use do you have the manuals there? And/or are the highlights in a House Guide?

43

Right. I’m putting some more information in the listing, much in the guide and removing language too. The messages will be fewer and much cleaner. I like your using Marie Kondo as a verb. Well put!