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How to deal with the hanger ons


#1

Any tips on how to deal with the hanger ons, the ones who come all the way to a new country (Ireland), but dont want to go sightseeing , instead they hang around the apt, wanting me to entertain them? I’ve had many like this lately and its getting to me. As I do a lot of work from home, theyre always in my face, sitting in my lounge, in my kitchen. I’m now finding myself going to work from a bar to get away from them! Terrible, but true!


#2

There’s not much you can do I’m afraid… unless you put some kind of curfew on your place?


#3

or throw them out :wink: haha


#4

I put in description: our perfect guest is someone who came for work, active self efficient tourist and spring breakers. This way I kind of let people know that we would prefer someone who is not hanging around the house all the time.
I had people like this twice. One girl was just in a unfortunate situation and she didnt have a car, but also she didnt even want to do what I offered her. She had no money, and her mother paid for her room. When she discovered I was a vegeterian she wanted to have endless conversations with me about healthy foods. At one point I told her that I need to do some work and went upstairs. I felt bad for her but what could I do.

The other 3 people just totally occupied the house. Everytime they saw me , they yelled: hola, Yana!! And wanted to talk to me. At first it was even fun to practice my spanish, but then after one week I started going mad.
I would come home after a long day around 9 p.m. And they are everywhere, in a living room watching TV, in a kitchen, dining room.
I even posted a question here what to do in this situation.

The only thing I limited is the use of kitchen, but otherwise I really don’t know what can be done. I wish I could find a polite way of telling them to give us more privacy but I didnt , so I kept quiete.
Fortunately , out of 40+ guests these 2 were the only ones hanging around the house so much. My other guests I don’t see. Now I have both rooms occupied, and the most I see them in a morning for a few minutes which I really enjoy to chat about this and that, and then they are gone the whole day.


#5

That’s a great tip Yana, to put my requirements in the description! I shall do that now! I think the ones who hang around the apt, would be better renting a whole apt to themselves, as its so unfair on the host.


#6

Sunshine -

Something like “As I work from home my place is best suited for people who will be out and about - or,
”'as I work from home I can not allow full access to the house except for limited times"

And then, stick to it. A smile as you approach them, an “I’m sorry to trouble you” to start and then “You may not realize but it is not possible for you to use public areas of my home since you are only renting a room. If there’s something I can do to help you be comfortable in your room (or in the garden?) please let me know” and a grand smiling ‘thank you so much’ in your best exaggerated Irish accent!. Will it be awkward? Yes, absolutely - but either that or go hang out at the pub, and enjoy spending the income on a nice plate of … what do you eat at pubs in Ireland?

Luckily it seems like this doesn’t happen much.

Let us know what happens!


#7

Ha! thanks dcmooney! Good way to put it! I guess being up front from the start is better…although that’s if some guests bother to read the whole profile :wink: I actually love having a chat and a wee drink with guests if they want, but hanging around the apt all the time is too much to bare!

Its lots of bread and potatoes in Ireland ha! I’m only a wee small girl, so too much beer and potatoes dont do any good for the figure haha

Thanks, however I hope it doesnt happen again. Ive had silly annoyances lately with guests…I’m hoping it will go back to normal again and go smooth!


#8

Sunshine - Curious to hear why these people travel all the way to Ireland to sit around someone’s house. Please do share!

Since most guests don’t bother with the description, you could make a note under your house rules (at the beginning) politely describing the work situation and who the ideal guest is. You don’t have to make it a “rule” but you can make a notation. Then before accepting the reservation, ask all guests to confirm they have read and agree to house rules.


#9

Thanks cabinhost for the suggestions. Good idea:)

Ive no idea, maybe they like my company, their surroundings! Maybe its the Irish accent, or maybe my wit haha, god knows…some are quite intrusive as well, too nosey if you get my drift, asking too many personal questions. A few have asked, how much I paid for my place, what work I done to afford it! Ive had people ask why ive no kids, why I dont want any! To personal if you ask me…i’m starting to think i give of the impression people can ask me anything!


#10

You probably just come across as very friendly and approachable - which is a good thing. I don’t know how some of you do it living with some of these guests. But I am learning a lot in case I ever choose that route…I will be armed and prepared…lol.


#11

Sunshine. That is an interesting story! I travel a lot, and I like a place I can feel at home in. So I book regular B & B 's, that are designed for guests to have their room and share a bath. The guests are separate from the host in a regular B & B, expect in the kitchen at breakfast. I like to tour, and also relax in my new neighborhood, go for a run, shower and have coffee in my room. Sleep in and watch TV in my room.
Your Air BnB sounds just like mine. I have a small house with one large guest room upstairs. If the guest hangs out at the house, they are going to be in my face all day. As host and guest SHARE the house.
I don’t know how to filter out the stay at home types. Put in your listing that the home is ideal for people who come to tour, but not ideal as a hangout. Hotels and regular BnB fit that bill much better.
It sounds like some of your stay at home guests are Lonely Travelers! I know the type. They are desperate to have someone to talk to, some one local and exotic to them. You fit the bill! They ask questions because they want a friend, not a BnB host! I had a couple like that once, they wanted my as their friend, hung around all day asking questions, went out for short tours and were right back asking questions. Luckily, I get very few stay at home guests!
Have more conversation with potential guests, ask them questions about their plans. I do. I ask what they plan to do during their stay, I offer tourist advice as a hint to get them out touring. Try that, “Oh I know just the place you MUST visit…” See if that gets them out.
My last stay in London, I booked a regular UK BnB in the outer districts. A four bedroom BnB, guest rooms separate from the host’s living area. Like I could not walk into her living room, lounge etc. My part of the house had only guests. I hung out a lot and just enjoyed the area, the commons, the coffee bars, long walks looking at the houses, sleeping in, reading, just acting like it was my own house. That works well when host and guests are apart like traditional BnB.


#12

69jamescole, Aw maybe they are lonely, I never thought of that. Now I feel bad:(

I always offer recommendations etc of what to see, and Ive lots of info in the guest room on what to do.
I have instant book on, so I usually dont get to ask guests questions till after. Maybe this is a problem, as guest are instantly booking who arent suitable. If my apt was bigger and I had another lounge area, it would be no problem for guests to use it, but sharing my lounge area and dining area constantly is a bit unthoughtful. I am always friendly to guests and open, so maybe they just feel I wouldnt mind. Some guests just dont have common sense! I wouldnt dream of taking over a hosts place unless invited!


#13

I’ve only had a couple of those types but I felt the same way. One fellow was here watching videos with headphones on in the shared space instead of in his room. I changed the number of days someone can stay to two and put in the description that it is because of the dogs that I board as well. I say that if they need more than 2 nights to let me know the situation and I can open it up for more. Unless you are desperate for the money I’d say you just need to be honest, perhaps turn off instant book and have a conversation with prospective guests first.


#14

Make it clear in your description what sort of guest you fancy hosting…I don’t know what I’d do with guests peering at me or looking to me to entertain them… eeek!!! I don’t know how all of you with strangers in their homes do it! Because my rental is a private and separate unit I never have this issue, although I continue to be surprised at how many guests sleep in past noon on their Hawaii holidays, missing all the best snorkeling and swimming times! And I am amazed at how many stay in the apartment most of the day! Don’t you want to snorkel or see the volcano!!!

But perhaps make sure your listing much more clear. "Welcome to Blarney Irish AirBnB! Your rental will include x,y,z. It also gives you access to 1, 2 and 3. It doesn’t include a, b and c. While the rental doesn’t include use of the kitchen, fortunately there are some ace pubs nearby where you can enjoy some fine Irish tea or a pint of our world famous stouts. As I’m busy with my daily work, I prefer to host guests who are self-sufficient and won’t rely on me to entertain them. As much as I enjoy conversation, I’m afraid it prevents me from being able to get any work done! Guests who need a place to crash at night after sightseeing during the day would be an ideal match for my place. So please, enjoy Ireland and see my guest document for suggestions about all the things to do and see! "

Also, if you haven’t already done it, remove any photos of areas they won’t have access to. This is misleading and unfair. When I was a newbie host, I had pictures of my upstairs in my listing, a place guests would never ever go. I realized that gave the wrong impression and now I only show photos of their studio and patio.


#15

Don’t feel bad:). We are all different, but there is a common law: we all need privacy, and most of my guests proved it, they understand. I stayed in many many houses as a guest, and it was always on my mind to give a host as much privacy as possible. Very rarely I got this special connection with a host and we hang out, went out together, and had long conversations.,
Honestly after LNG day of sightseeing,I did not feel like talking and wanted to retreat to my from as soon as entered the house .


#16

OMG, I know! This sort of thing baffles me…why anyone would spend thousands of dollars and fly half way around the world to hang out at my townhouse all day. Most guests behave normally, i.e., sightsee by day and go out at night…use my place mainly to sleep. But, I’ve had a couple sets who awkwardly lingered around for hours wanting to hang like we are old buddies. I’ve been tempted to say ‘uh…tour is over now…I need to get on with my life here,…you do know that Los Angeles is just outside, right?’


#17

At a best guess, a lot of people travel to meet locals and get a lot of pleasure from the interaction with people of different cultures rather than ticking the list of ‘sights’. Some lonely/socially needy hosts love this sort of attention from guests. Sometimes I have time to interact, other times I just don’t. I think the advice of outlining the sort of guest you’d like is a good one. I guess you have to make the decision whether to forgo the booking and the money or put up with the chit chat. You can always give them a job to do - to earn your attention for example I say - I’m just going into the garden to do some chores, if you fancy doing some work come join me. Nobody has yet! LOL


#18

Out of all my guests less than 5 wanted to chat more than 5 min. Usualy people want to be left alone as soon as they are shown to their room.
All my out of country guests were mostly very young, who partied nights and slept till noon, so I never saw them.
I heard stories from very young travelers how they hang out with their hosts and were invited to parties. Within 5 years of my travelings I never was invited to a party though I am very outgoing and not reserved at all.
I had few dinners at the house with hosts and with some I had longer conversations but that was very rare.
Ussualy you stay with a total stranger that has his / busy life to live and I perfectly understand that . Thatsbwhyni tried to stay out of their way as much as I could. Plus I am a restless travel who walks all day, and goes out at night, so I guess I was a perfect guest:)


#19

Haha! I cannot imagine this!!! But yes, you are right. And Air even promotes that idea of guests and hosts getting chummy!

There is a setting where you can specify “Interaction with Guests.” On mine I write: “I like to give my guests complete privacy. But I’m available to answer their questions if they need. I’m also up for a glass of wine too but only if you want it. Otherwise I’ll stay out of your way and let you enjoy Hawaii!”


#20

I really don’t think you can have rules that tell people to leave when they are renting the space. The one thing that I did before starting my bnb was to put doors on a doorway to section off an area of my place. You can then just put a little sign on the door that says “private”. If a door is closed people usually recognize that they are not welcome to go in there. Or course, that idea may not be possible in the layout of your place.

I do find it annoying when people hangout all the time and want to socialize. Naturally, you can leave, but then you feel like you are getting kicked out of your own home. I also do a lot of work out of my home and when I find guests who are exceptionally needy, I tell them that I would love to talk, but I have to get back to work and explain to them that I work out of my home. They should get the hint when you say that to them nicely.

The many dilemas of the host!


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