Help with handling a demanding guest

I thought that initially but if you think about it - maybe he is extremely overweight and so walking is a challenge but once you’ve managed to get yourself on a trampoline, bouncing up and down is pretty easy!

@SJMCottage, you’ve had a lot of good advice and opinions so far. I can only agree with those that say you really need to speak with him. Is this his first time doing Airbnb as far as you know? I would be gentle with him, sounds like he might be a bit lonely? That’s a hard one because although you want to be kind, it challenges the boundaries. You could start by checking with him that everything is ok now that he’s settled in, explaining that you will not be able to assist with lifts etc. from now on. Emphasis being on “now that you are settled in”.

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Being that this is your first guest…I would follow the advice given above, to kindly but firmly state what you are able to provide and not provide to him, as part of his stay.
If he leaves you a negative review, I would contact AirBnB, and tell them that this was your very first guest, and you had some unexpected challenges, and ask if they will remove the negative review. They will likely do it, since you are new.
The problem with letting a guest stay longer than 28 days, is that it is no longer considered ‘short stay’, but rental agreement. That means subject to tenant law. It also means that the guest shouldn’t continue to be charged tourist tax, but thats a trivial matter). We don’t allow our guests to stay longer then 28 days. They must depart, (at least two consecutive days, then come back, if they want to stay longer.

Letting them leave and come back doesn’t protect you against him acquiring tenant status. The only way is to do it right, with a proper lease agreement, deposit and background check. Have them for two weeks and then if you like them and want them to stay long term you should do the above. Not doing so is asking for trouble.


i would contact Airbnb - asking to find him alternative accommodating in town - and send them message outlining all his requests - ie no windows unblinded - musical instrument piano - hard mattress and water purifier or syphon -
and let them sort it out
you cant possibly accommodate him and his needs by the sound of it = ie bad Airbnb fit
explain to him you have contacted Airbnb asking them to find him alternative place
as a host of 8years and you being brand new here is some helpful tips
write a detailed description of your place and what you expect guests to be aware of
ie not in town guests need to sort out own transport
describe mattress and window and what is available
and send guest requesting to stay a message before they book explaining all this
so there are no surprises when they arrive
good luck

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You disagree with what?..that I like Yana’s solution? It’s based on her experience. How is that different from you basing your bias on your experience?

@Yana said: “When I am asked for a ride I say: I charge for rides. It’s 10$ to (where you want to go). I stayed in many Airbnbs and many hosts charge for rides.”

I still prefer her way ~ offering a service for a fee (charging for rides and leaving the decision up to the guest on whether it’s worth it to him or not) ~ over yours. There’s no right or wrong; just the choice of the host.

I can’t cater to a non sensible guests. For a sensible guest it’s a perfect solution: pay lower price that taxi would charge. I stayed in Slovenia in a village and taxi to city was 20$. The host charged me 10$ and everyone was happy. She also did my laundry and charged me 5$ and it worked for me too.

They can resent me as much as they can. I tell guests what I offer and I think it’s fair and a favor to them . Then it’s time for guests to decide wether they want it or not

I also noticed there is special type of travelers who travel a lot and on a tiny budget tend to ask lots of favors. They always say how many countries they went to and they like to make friends all over the world to stay for free . They are usually the ones who eat hosts food pretending they “didn’t know” and take little things like soaps for future use. They make fun of twice a year travelers who spend tons of money and do touristy things. Because “it’s not the way to see the world”.

These people will keep on asking… rides…laundry… discounts…etc. These kinds of guests I as a host resent.


Haha I know these types! And they have dreadlocks and like to play the guitar at the side of the road and slacklining in the park

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You are describing younger travelers who look rough tough but happy to be alive😊.
My annoying “travelers” are older kind over 40 without any particular income , “ know it’s all” type.
I remember one was trying to become friends with me. I could see him through and then how he ate my food on constant basis and other guests food too until i threatened to kick him out.
He was hanging out with me on a kitchen watching me cook and giving me non stop compliments until I offered him one day dinner. He ate for 5 people, drank 7 drinks and was so annoying that even my talkative husband started rolling his eyes .
He wanted to join me for walks in a park and asked me to bring him to my GYM as a guests for a week.
Then he wanted me to “get” him things in supermarket and then I had to chase him for 10$ to pay me
We couldn’t wait for him to leave .


Hi all,

Thank you for all the great advice. Just to say that the situation did improve since I have been a bit firmer. The guest has hired a car so at least won’t be asking for lifts. He’s still a bit needy, but he seems aware that he was being a pain. He even commented on how he was trying not to bother too much.

And for those commenting on the legal implications of long-term guests, I’m a South African host, so I think the laws here are totally different. I don’t think I’ll have any problems there. But it may be different elsewhere.

And, yes, he totally fits the tiny budget traveller profile @Yana mentions above (older traveller, no particular income, into alternative stuff", but with the added touch that he’s from the UK, in SA, living way more cheaply in my little cottage than he could back home (less than $10 per day with free internet, cleaning service, etc!).


I disagree with that proposal as a workable solution. From my experience. Which part of my answer bugged you so much to answer in this tone? That I used the word “disagree”? Of course it’s just an opinion. I’m not a native speaker so maybe I’m missing on something, but it was not meant to be rude or snappy. I used your post as a reference in order to express my opinion of charging guests for certain services as a good way to handle (potentially) demanding guest. I could’ve quoted Yana. Or no one. Who cares?

Sure, but my point is that sensible guests usually do not go so far to ask for these things in the first place. If they were sensible, they would book a suitable accommodation (one in which they don’t have to use a car that they don’t have, for example) or would make arrangements prior or during their arrival themselves. Of course there are grateful, sensible people out there who are happy to have a service provided. I just think they are in minority. :smiley: So it is safer simply not provide any “proper” service, but rather do a favor on case by case basis, after assessing guest’s behavior.

I remember Kona writing about people mentioning their dissatisfaction with the snorkeling gear she provides FOR FREE. I can only imagine the comments if they had to pay for it, even if it’s for a fraction of a price that they would otherwise pay. I just think that charging for certain services makes you more vulnerable to this kind of a jerk guest. Just my two cents.

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Inna, I had to stop providing the pricey gear…people could not stop losing the various pieces. Also they would walk across the rocks in the fins, getting them all thrashed. I just have various and sundry ones now. I don’t stress over the pricey ones anymore. If they can’t find something to work in my bin they are welcome to buy their own.

Excuuse me, but likewise…which part of my answer bugged you? I specifically asked you who the target was of your initial statement, “I disagree.” Was it my opinion or the way Yana handles such a situation (which I favor). I was merely asking you for clarification.

I would never have guessed you are not a native [English?] speaker, so I will only suggest that it would be preferable to avoid such a negative phrase at the outset which could be misconstrued by the party to whom you are addressing.

Well,maybe the part in which you reply with a series of aggressive questions, proceeding to call me upon my “bias” and then saying that there is no right or wrong, just an opinion. Although the word “disagree” does not really imply that we are talking about a particular fact or truth. It might as well refer to an opinion. :wink: As it was!

And what does it matter whose opinion it was, your or Yana’s? I thought you two had the same stance. I disagree with an opinion, not with one or both of you in particular. Is this enough of an explanation (2nd attempt, paraphrasing the end of my previous post)?

You obviously WERE irritated that I started the post with “I disagree”, so my assumptions were correct. If there is some inappropriatness in using this expression (on a forum, where people tend to disagree a lot) among native (yes, obviously English) speakers, then I would really like to know about it.

I remember you writing about that… It is sad, but expected. I hope people do not complain about the gear provided for free anymore. Someone was jerk enough to do that, if I remember that correctly?

Okay, you disagreed with my opinion.
Pointless to go further.

Yes…but that is not the only complimentary item that gets complaints. Which is why I decided as a host to cut back on e items I provide for free. Everything you provide just gives them one more thing to complain about. Yes, it’s sad.


True … but I guess I like money too much😂.
I had ones a lady guest in a beginning of my hosting days who used my laundry every day and then commanded me to go to the store buy more detergent.
When I told her she can buy buy her own detergent she was pissed at me. I now have a limit of 5 days for free laundry and I don’t and didn’t really care about cost of detergent because it is minuscule , but I didn’t want to drop everything and go to the store for her . Then she told me that if I provide laundry I need to have all supplies there. :joy:


I haven’t had a guest ask for rides, but one young couple who had just bought a car wanted to use my tags. I was between cars at the time, and it would have saved them $400, but then what would happen when I got a car later and they were gone. I had no trouble at all saying no to that.