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Handy (Wo)Man, what woud you do?

Remote host here. OK, Here it is. I found and took on Xxxx as a handy man a few years ago. Xxxx has been a fantastic handyman, jack of all trades, master of some. Price is just right! Last time I was at my place I called him in and when he showed up he was obviously transitioning. I’ve seen a couple of other people go though this but as a straight male I found him (her) to be pretty hideous looking (so did my wife). I asked him about it and he told me he enjoyed doing local drag shows and that his (gorgeous) GF (whom I have met) is OK with it. The jobs I needed got done without any problems. Question. I have, in the past, sent him in to do repairs while guests were in the house. I host mostly family groups. I’m now reluctant to send him in when I have guests. I still like and respect this person, and I would still use him/her but this is one of my businesses and I don’t know how people might react if I sent him/her in.

If your guests are prejudiced against trans people; it is entirely the guests’ problem and should not be coddled.


So did he/she show up in full regalia (lipstick, wig, lashes, etc.), or just plucked eyebrows and short-shorts?

Honestly, if the toilet was overflowing, your guests will be happy to see anyone there to fix it, be it Jack or Jackie or someone in between. Don’t sweat it.


Don’t let someone’s status/transition stop you from employing them - don’t assume anything about your guests and what would make them comfortable or uncomfortable. I think it must be a super difficult time for your worker, and imagine how much more difficult it would be to be denied future work because of their gender status. The consideration is whether the work gets done or not.


People are going to have to get used to it. I wouldn’t want any handyman of any kind around my guests unless is was an emergency but if you are going to send them in then continue to do so. Be part of the solution not part of the problem.

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If your handy person is transitioning from male to female, she is probably using she/her pronouns now. You can ask if you aren’t sure. Trans people usually prefer to be asked politely what pronouns they use. She may also have changed her name, and calling her by her new name is the decent thing to do.

I agree that it is your guests’ problem if they are transphobic. Sadly a lot of people are, but how will we change society if we continue to discriminate?

I am also not sure the relevance of your handy person or her girlfriend’s level of attractiveness to this discussion.


No doubt some people may be uncomfortable, count on that, life. If the repairs are paramount, no one will care, like @SandyToes said.

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