Guests showed up after check in time, then abruptly left. Now they want a full refund

A guest booked in July for a two-night stay in September. Our listing for the suite in our basement stipulates that the check-in window is 2 pm to 9 pm, but that we will do our best to accommodate advance requests for a check-in outside those hours. (We frequently do so, either staying up or using a lockbox.) The message also said that guests with a car will need to get a street parking permit and if so, to contact us for details.

Two days before the booking, we messaged the guest to ask what time she expected to arrive. On the day of the booking, we got a short message saying that she would arrive “no later than 8 pm”.

At 8.40, she still had not arrived or messaged. We messaged her asking if she could give us a revised ETA. We did not hear back. The 9 o’clock booking window came and went. By 9.35, she had still not shown up or gotten in touch. We called the number on her booking. No answer. We left a voice mail hoping that she was okay and letting her know that if she didn’t show soon, she would be out of luck. We called Airbnb for guidance and they offered to try and get in touch with the guest. At 9.58, Airbnb called back to say they had spoken to the guest and that she would be there within ten minutes. The guest then messaged to ask for parking instructions.

At just after 10 pm, the doorbell rang. I opened the door to a man wearing a surgical mask asking for the key to the suite. I said I didn’t know who he was (there was a second guest on the booking but no identification of who) and that I would only give the key to the person who made the booking. He motioned to a van parked nearby, and the guest came to the door. I asked what happened to cause her to be so late and why she didn’t get in touch. She started to say that she has many excellent reviews on Airbnb (true). I said that was fine, but could she address the events of today. She and her partner started to get a bit agitated (as was I, admittedly). They said they had been too “busy working” to get in touch. The partner insisted it was their right to check in because “you are running a business”. I suggested that a simple apology would go a long way in this instance, but the partner said “We no longer feel safe staying here.” With that, they left, got in the van and drove away.

Airbnb told us that the guests had violated our terms and were therefore not guaranteed the right to stay,. They said if the guests cancelled the reservation, our cancellation policy would apply and they would not get a refund. They said if the guest did not cancel, they would be able to leave a review, which would be removed if it violated Airbnb standards.

The booking expired this morning and Airbnb has contacted us, saying the guest was asking if we would be amenable to providing a full refund. We replied, asking Airbnb for a clear statement of our rights and obligations in this circumstance and would consider a refund in that light. We also suggested that an apology from the guest would go a long way.

That’s where it stands. Sorry for the long-winded explanation.

What do you think: should we give a refund or not?

Hosting is not for you.

I suppose I understand the need for specific check-in hours. If somebody shows up late though, wouldn’t it be better to smile, open the door, and welcome them? After all, they are not your errant kids who came home late from school. “An apology is in order” but from YOU to the guests who came for their stay.

And FYI, if you don’t give them a full refund, their review will start with something like “We do not recommend. The host would not let us check in and demanded ‘an apology’ for showing up a little past their check-in window.”

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While these sound like people who aren’t respectful of others’ time, (and “too busy working” is a lame excuse- it takes all of 30 seconds to send a message), I can’t imagine what purpose you thought it served to start the booking off on such a bad note.

How did you expect guests to react when instead of welcoming them, you grilled them about why they arrived outside of the check-in window and didn’t communicate, and demanded an apology? Yeah, so they arrived an hour late, at 10pm. That isn’t super late at night by most adults’ standards, it’s not like they were banging on your door at 2am.
If 10 pm is way past your bedtime, why don’t you let guests know that if they arrive past 9, that they should use the lockbox you say you have?

It isn’t that unusual for guests to be late and not communicate that- their flight may have been delayed and they can’t use their phone on the flight, they may not have a cell signal or internet connection.

Rather than laying into the guests when they arrived, this is the sort of thing a smart host lets go of at the time and saves to mention in the review.

Considering how inappropriately you behaved (and two wrongs don’t make a right- just because they were late and failed to communicate isn’t reason to act unprofessionally) I would suggest you give them a refund.

And Airbnb won’t remove what is certain to be a bad review, regardless of them telling you that- they tell everyone that, and then won’t remove it.

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11 years hosting. 10 years as a Superhost. Guest Favourite status. 7 years of unbroken 5-star reviews. 4.95 average over 350+ reviews. “Top 5% of homes.” “Exceptional check-in experience.” 80 per cent booked until April.

I think I’m doing okay as a host, but that’s not really what I was asking. I was asking if I should give a refund. Your reply is to give a refund if I’m afraid of getting a bad review. I’m not, and I don’t think that’s the criteria anyway. I think the criteria is a) what’s the policy and b) what’s fair. Hosts have rules for a reason. Hosts also have discretion to waive the rules for good guests. These weren’t them.

You also got the facts wrong; I didn’t refuse to let them check in; they opted not to. And I didn’t demand an apology; I suggested one.

All in all, not a useful response, but thanks anyway.

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• Didn’t grill them, we had a civil conversation, but I did hold them accountable, yeah.
• Didn’t demand an apology, politely suggested one. With a smile.
• Doesn’t matter whether it’s super late or not. It’s my business hours, clearly posted. Do you expect to get a midnight meal at a restaurant that closes at 11?
• We do let guests use a lockbox if they let us know in advance that they will be late. That’s all these folks had to do.
• Do you really think I don’t know that there are lots of reasons people may be incommunicado? In this case, I knew the guests were driving in from a nearby city.
• I don’t believe in being two-faced, all nicey-nicey with the guests and then trashing them in the review. I hate it when guests do that.

Thanks for the advice re: giving a refund. Considering everything you said around it, I’m going to completely ignore you and do the opposite.

This was my first time posting here and obviously I made a rookie mistake. I thought this was a place to get helpful advice when it’s actually a place for people looking to be criticized, belittled and shamed. My mistake. I’m out. Enjoy your clubby little whine-fest.

Wow. Aren’t you just something? You certainly did make a big mistake.

You treated the guests badly, certainly by the high standards of our members here, and yet you can’t understand when experienced and conscientious hosts point this out to you.

Some members here think that you were rude and unreasonable to your guests and I for one think that you are rude and unreasonable to people here too.

Goodbye.

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There are many hosts who come to forums wanting to have their behavior or attitude validated and get angry when it isn’t.

You were given helpful advice- not to behave this way with guests, that yes, you should refund them, and that Airbnb will not remove their review.

Your response to these guests when they arrived late was based on being personally offended (just as you were here) rather than a professional response.

And mentioning in a review, “Communication was lacking in that the guests arrived a couple hours past their given ETA, and an hour past our check-in time without bothering to give us an update”, among other good things you might have been able to say about them had they actually stayed, is not “trashing” the guest.

Good luck trying to get the inevitable, deserved, bad review removed.

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Heres my pennyworth.This is a really really good forum for info, not always given diplomatically. Take what is useful to you.
I can understand your frustration at not knowing when and if your guests would arrive. I suggest you always give your lockbox info to circumvent that happening again. It sounds like your guests were already cranky when they arrived as were you ? Ive certainly experienced that, rarely I’m relieved to say. The lockbox would smooth the way.
Maybe a part refund would suffice, but its up to you.

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I guess we could’ve all predicted this self-righteous response, as this host was expecting sympathy and agreement. Instead, he got honesty.

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Yes, THIS! The idea of telling a guest an apology is in order is inconceivable! I’m a homeshare host, & have numerous guests arrive well past our 4pm-9pm posted arrival times. Most have had good reasons, & were good about communicating. For the few that have arrived after we have retired, I simply leave a note for them with instructions & all has gone well.
The idea that a host feels it’s okay to admonish a guest for whatever reason is beyond me. In this regard (& many more), I totally agree with Rolf- hosting may not be for you! :woman_shrugging:t3:

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As a host, I would be pretty concerned about my approach if a guest turned up late at night, obviously stressed and then, despite the hassle of having to find somewhere else to stay that late in a strange place, decided not to check in after all… maybe they were so awful that actually you were relieved to see the back of them but then why are you fretting about giving a refund? As you point out, you aren’t driven by fear of a bad review, and felt your handling of the check in at the time to be reasonable.

I don’t blame your response, I’m a very long time host with excellent reviews and have stopped coddling the guests who can’t deem it respectful to type a line message. The number of guests who totally disregard check ins and check outs by multiple hours without a word is ridiculous recently.
I don’t allow late check ins now because people have no respect for my neighbours and the other guests I have. They are loud, banging car doors etc
Not to mention the ones who can’t read my directions and go knocking on my elderly neighbours door waking them up.
Pay no heed to the know it alls here, the American “customer is always right” doesn’t bode well, especially now.
Most of my nightmare guests are of that ilk.
I done know what the hell is going on there, but this year they all just overstay, turn up whenever they like, leave every light and heater on all day whilst out, and whinge to me about things out of my control like car hire insurance costs in Ireland.
God forbid the wifi drops out for a second.
Some of us were taught manners and value others time.
Time is money is the God isn’t it?
Unless it doesn’t affect your job of course.
Pure selfishness.

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Here in Colorado, we say, “ Well, he just thinks he’s a bag of chips & more!” Yep, good riddance & buh bye @doughost. Oh, & you can probably kiss that 4.95 rating goodbye. :wave:

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