Nice one, Colonel, don’t go easy on 'em!
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I think you’re just overly worried about the expectations part, which is perfectly understandable. This is just part of hosting I guess. You don’t always get the kind of guests you’re comfortable with, and there’s really nothing you can do about it except try your best to make it more comfortable for them.
Don’t do wine …get them some Kölsch!
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I was very surprised to get honeymooners in my attached (but separate) suite last year – what the heck, I printed a little tent card that said congratulations, left some nice chocolates, a split of champagne, and a complimentary cheap souvenir mug of my locale that I found in a gift shop oddly attached to the central library in the municipal building. They were lovely people and I got an amazing review. I also pretty routinely get anniversary couples having a little getaway.
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You don’t suppose there are guests who would LIE about being on their honeymoon or celebrating an anniversary in hopes that the host will shell out for wine and chocolates for them, do you?
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If they do, they are such sad examples of humanity that if my split of cheap champagne makes them feel like winners instead of the losers they are, so be it. I’m zen about it.
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That did occur to me with my guests. I didn’t supply anything other than the usual bottled water and granola bars. 
Yes, there is. In fact, every other guest I get tells me: “The first thing to do is go to the chocolate museum”. I’ve been to this bloody chocolate museum myself, twice, when friends and family were visiting, and yes, it is fine, but I honestly don’t think this is the number one tourist attraction in Cologne.
Thanks for all your other thoughts and ideas, though!
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Hey @Eberhard_Blocher, I had the same freak out a couple of weeks ago. A local couple (live 45 minutes from here), asked if I had ever hosted honeymooners, I said “no” but I’m sure they would be quite comfortable. My BF and I double sheeted the bottom sheets of the bed and put extra felt sticky-things on the legs of the bed frame so as to protect the hardwood floors. Other prep which I won’t get into.
They were only staying one night so I of course was worried. Turns out they met on a creek path in the mountains where I live, have been living together for 2 Years like @jaquo pointed out, and just wanted to be married in this town, at the very spot he proposed. They were great guests!
Hope this waylays your fears, it turned out to be trouble free for me.
EDIT: They also told me they would be going on their formal honeymoon at a later date, during their stay.
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No, that is not a rehash of “neatness.” YOU, the director, ought to clean a room now and again. It’s super simple to put some distance between the general population in your association, to overlook doing the everyday work. Do it, from room administration to cleaning to staffing the night kitchen (on the off chance that you have one). The spots I’ve worked, where administration did everyday work, were the best and astonishing.
Ummm, I think you may have the wrong idea about this forum. We are not Directors of hotel chains, and a lot of us already carry out all the everyday work, from room cleaning, shit shovelling to admin and welcoming.
And bloody laundry and ironing…
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There might be some cultural differences/expectations at play here. Let’s imagine that you’re not rich people from one of the poorer parts of the world. Take your pick. Bangladesh, Mexico, Guatemala. I suspect your “run-down area of Cologne” would look to such people like a cross between Xanadu and Shangri La.
I remember visiting England (though mostly London) as a child many years ago. That was my first time outside India. Possibly my first time outside Bombay; I forget. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. (Yes, it’s sad.)
I think people from the wealthy countries of Western Europe don’t realise what much of the rest of the world is like.
I wouldn’t freak out. Just have a little chat with them about their expectations. They’ve seen your pictures, so they must have some idea what your place is like.
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I had a few honeymooners, I remember 3, but it might be more. In fact my first guests ever were on their honeymoon. It never occur I should do something special for them or that they would be any different than other guests. I’m renting room in our home with shared bathroom and we are budget place.
All the honeymooners left nice 5 star review and I don’t think they expected something more, than what they signed for. They got exactly same treatment as all other guests.
But again in my social circles honeymoon is no big deal and there is no need to make a fuss around it. It’s probably different for many people, but honeymooners which booked my place seemed satisfied with what I offer.
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I had a young couple from a city that is much less upscale than mine stay with me recently on their wedding night. There is a beautiful park overlooking the ocean at the end of my street where they intended to get married. However they had obviously been together for quite some time as they let me know they had to leave early the next morning to attend their daughter’s soccer game. I guess it came down to a choice between the nearest hotel at $600+ a night and my place! In any case, they were lovely guests. I would be happy to welcome them again.
I had the same thing happen once and it was totally fine. It was a young couple who weren’t looking to spend a lot of money. I left them a little note with some extra chocolate wishing them a happy stay. They were thrilled and left a great review.
I wouldn’t worry, they’ll have seen what you are offering and must be OK with it! I went on my honeymoon to Greece a few weeks after the wedding and having cohabited for ages before that, and we stayed in a hostel which was so basic and cheap we didn’t even FIND the shared showers in a corridor until the day before we left. People have different expectations and budgets 
. I’d have been VERY happy if someone had left a cheap bottle of plonk in the room for us.
:
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I agree ken. This post is odd. The guests have seen the place and booked it. They must be ok with what’s offered. Cologne is a wonderful city. They probably want something cheap so they have money to spend on site seeing and food.
I am sorry if my post irritated you. However, I don’t see a reason to apologize for the feelings I have. If someone on their honeymoon books my place, that scares me.
I totally understand @Emily who wrote, right at the top of this thread “Any man who takes me to an Airbnb like this for our honeymoon is sending me an invitation for a quick annulment”.
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Update: The guests may or may not have seen my Airbnb listing, but they certainly haven’t read the corresponding description. This clearly states:
Check-in before 10 pm. No admission if you arrive later than that.
Now this couple’s honeymoon seems to be about to start - they are due to arrive here, next week. So finally, after having been sent two reminder messages, they had the grace to reply to my question about arrival time. I am copying this here for you, word by word
I have checked where the bus will arrive to the Cologne-Bonn airport at 23:20
We will stay at your place till morning as we want to sightsee the city.
Is this ok? and how we can open the door?
So this means they should get to my place at around 1 in the morning. They obviously think someone will be there to open the door for them.
Bottom line,don’t worry about chocolates, cheap champagne, or other goodies. They seem to think their introduction “We are on our honeymoon” will be a carte blanche for behaving any way they like.
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