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Thank-you @konacoconutz.
I agree. Also, in my experience 100% of the time (not even one exception) when there’s been a problem/problems before the guest’s arrival, there have been even more issues after they’ve gotten here. Who knows what other bullets I dodged. Perhaps none, but it’d be a first.
I’m going to take out the line about the mattress right now!
Thanks. I know, but in my experience, any time I’ve done a long-term guest, I really had to work for the money - there are usually issues so it’s actually easier on one hand to do a bunch of shorter term stays.
Hopefully! : 0)
Go through your listing and remove anything ambiguous. Firm up where you can.
Think classroom rules. Better to start out firm and then soften…much much harder to start soft and then firm up later.
It’s true. Like trying to break bad habits instead of making (even) clear(er). what is expected.
I understand you, but here it seems to be more of an issue that you as a host were the one who were the “wrong match”, by accepting a longer stay without being comfortable with it, than the guest. If you’re not ready to host such a long term stay and accommodate certain requests that come with it, maybe it would be better to limit the number of nights guests can stay. It’s a huge difference if someone is having visitors during their one week or a three-month stay. When it comes to longer stays one has to be a bit more flexible and keep in mind the good money you are (presumably) making in return.
I don’t know why other guests would be bothered by the dude’s presence since they have no idea what kind of arrangement you might have with this particular guest. Plus, when they book, they cannot really be sure how many other rooms will be occupied nor is this their business. I bet no one would’ve even noticed. It is fair to say that you would be bothered by it, for your own reasons.
Btw my problematic guest with unruly children that I was writing about here on the forum asked if her husband could come over during some weekends (he was working in another country in vicinity). I allowed for this, as it seemed weird to me to demand that the man cannot stay with his wife and children occasionally, especially since she was staying for a full month. It actually turned out that this was the least problematic part of her stay as the husband actually entertained children and they were outside of the house whenever he was around. 
By the general impression and style of communication, I would say that this girl wouldn’t have been a bad guest. But every host knows what he is uncomfortable with, of course.
Inna, in the past (when I did homestay), I only had long-term guests for many years. Some were great, some were not. For Airbnb, I’ve had both long and short-term guests. Most of the long-term guests have been great (many have gone on to become good friends) - however, I’ve found that the longer the stay, the higher the expectations - most of the time. I’ve had guests stay for 8 months to a year (mostly when I did homestay). Although it’s usually been the case where a guest initially books for a week or two and then ends up staying for longer - until they move into a permanent apartment/go back to their home countries.
In this instance, my other guests (prior to their booking, before this woman had booked) had already asked the maximum number of people who would be sharing the bathroom during their stay. They also often ask who the guests would be (long/short-term) etc. just to get a feel. This is a question I get quite regularly. So this had already been discussed with them and this is their expectation upon arrival.
In the past, I’ve had guests have their relatives stay here, partners etc. without a problem. But these were different circumstances.
Again,100%. of the time when there’s even been the slightest little niggle of an issue prior to the guest’s arrival - it’s (sadly) always been the tip of the iceberg when they’ve arrived - only with Airbnb, not homestay or other hosting I’ve done. Not sure why. So now I’ve stopped thinking “Oh, that person will be different when they arrive.” The guest might have been fine when she arrived. Or not. Always trust your instincts is what I’ve learned.
I absolutely agree with you about the longer stays. That’s why I’m not a huge fan of them and I don’t think I will be accepting them anytime soon. My point was that it is not clear why you accepted her booking in the first place,.
Well, I have had some longer stays that have been great (but am trying to figure out the %, will have to go back and see). May really have to re-think how long I want someone to stay. Sad that it’s tempting to have “just” the one long term booking where I don’t have to turn the room over, and re-train the next guest for a bit - I guess that part of me thinks of it as a reprieve. Will need to re-think that as well!
Agree on the longer stays. Familiarity breeds contempt. The longer they are there, the more focused they become on an accommodations flaws, cons and foibles.
I hear you about the three grand. But three bux, thirty bux, three hundred bux or three thousand, let’s not let the lure of money buy our peace of mind.
If only I could go back in time and not take the recent guest that gave me so much heartache. I want to take his bloody $1100 and go throw it at him.
Thanks for this, @konacoconutz.
It’s so true. I like the shorter stays (plus I can be super super nice and friendly and helpful and it’s less draining for short-term guests). With the longer ones, they might come across me holding voodoo dolls that look like them! 
Thanks for the reminder about the $. No amount of money is worth it when a guest is making your life miserable (in your own home) and you can’t stand the thought of them being here for one second longer, but you do (because of the money). Also, every single time a long-term booking gets cancelled I’ve always gotten fantastic guests who booked it (maybe not a single long-term, but still) after, so will try to keep the faith.
I like to say that I have a black belt in imaginary kung-fu. I could go fake-kung-fu him for you!
Karma will take care of him (and hopefully you’ll find out about it)!
I get it, I just feel a bit sad for the guest who was probably super excited that she had found a great place to stay but then suddenly felt unwelcome for asking what she thought was an innocent question. I’m doubting she’ll choose Airbnb in the future as a result.
But having been on the receiving end of stuff that just didn’t feel right, I completely understand your decision.
She’s already booked with Airbnb and said that she would like to book with me in the future.
Update: I have just now booked a friendly woman for one month (in that room) who has great Airbnb reviews, so that’s a bit of a relief.
Thanks everyone for your support, and hopefully we can move onto other, more interesting threads! 
I think for me it would be more about how this guest pushed back when told no. I didn’t like that and I don’t find that respectful or innocent. It tells me she had plans to slip the guy in. There’s no way she didn’t know she was bringing him when she made the booking. She just didn’t want to inquire with the two of them because she knew Happy would turn her down. Glad you got a new booking Happy. You must be in huge demand being near the university.
EXACTLY! Thanks @konacoconutz! That’s precisely the issue.
It’s also interesting for me that the folks who are commenting that I should have accepted her, have no idea as to the set-up of my home etc. There seems to be an underlying assumption about how much room I have and how large my home is. So, someone who has a separate building for guests, or a very large home might have a very different reaction to special hosting requests than I do, since I know exactly what is reasonable for myself, my other guests and housemate.
It’s true, I’m very fortunate to be in a convenient location Spoiler Alert Shameless Self-Promotion: close to the university, very near the subway, tourist attractions, shops, grocery stores, restaurants etc. in a quiet, friendly, tree-lined neighbourhood with lots of parks nearby*
The other reason you could afford to cancel a $3000 reservation is that you have thirty lined up waiting to take their place. People willing to respect the host and not push back. Push back with your parents, not your hosts!
Well, I don’t want to jinx it but yes, whenever there’s been any kind of issue/cancellation, the next guests were always easy, appreciative and kind, so here’ s hoping that continues!
It isn’t that simple. Having the capacity doesn’t necessarily cover the whole situation. I have the capcity to host up to 6 people in my guest rooms, but I try to limit the total guests in the house to between 3 or 4 at any one time. I would allow two couples to stay in two rooms while leaving the third empty, because I wouldn’t be comfortable with more than that in my house, nor do I think the guests would be comfortable. Most of the time, I host 3 singles - one in each room. In the case of @HappyHost she has guests that specifically asked about the number of other guests in the house.
So not only does she have her own bounderies to consider, but those of the other guests in the house.
That’s exactly it. We’ve all heard stories of 10 people crammed into a basement with sheets for walls (not Airbnb, to be clear). As much as I could use the money, I need to make sure that my guests, housemate and I are all okay with the number of people staying at my home at any one time. I believe in karma and in the past when I’ve made these kids of decisions based on the money alone, they’ve always backfired.
Thanks for helping explain!
@katnhat @happylittlehost, thanks for the further information! I understand the capacity issue but I’m intrigued on how you manage it. Presumably you advertise your rooms as capable of hosting 2+ guests at any one time. What do you do if you get simultaneous booking enquiries that would overload your desired capacity? Do you decline one or other of them? I’m not trying to criticise or anything, I’m genuinely interested. I used to have two rooms (max 2 persons per room) and often people would ask to add another - I could have done it, there’s enough space to put down an airbed but I always said no because of the pressure on the shared bathroom. But I never advertised as being able to host 3 in a room in the first place so it wasn’t a problem. How do you manage to juggle it all? Or perhaps I’m misunderstanding (wouldn’t be the first time!).