Guest reporting blood on bed sheets and blaming my sofa bed

[travellinbug]

Just got back from the crime scene and I found no blood stains on the sheets! Apparently this guys mother (who is one of the guests) managed to soak the sheets in cold water. He kept insisting that it was the sofa bed that cut him as he pointed towards his elbows. However, I could see not see any bruise or cut there!

I proceeded to inspect the sofa bed with my bare hands and there was absolutely nothing that could cut anyone. The sofa’s mechanism is all hidden under the soft top. (its an IKEA FRIHETEN sofa)

I offered to give the guest new sheets and I washed the ones he stained with a cold wash, all came out good as new.

As I walked out I noticed his finger had a band aid! I think he was making some excuse, so I’m guessing there is another truth to his story. Anyway I left it at that, keep my cool and left them to enjoy their holiday.

[dpfromva]

All’s well that ends well. Sounds like Mom is super sensible and you have nothing to worry about.

[Magwitch]

@travellinbug

Anyway I left it at that, keep my cool and left them to enjoy their holiday.

Good to hear it was a successful outcome! And thank you for coming back to update. How old is this guy?? I can’t quite get my head round someone who contacts a host because he somehow cut his likkle finger and his mum had to wash the sheets for him.

[travellinbug]

I think around 35-40

[Barns]

let Airbnb know, in case they give you a shithouse review

[konacoconutz]

@Barns

shithouse review

Don’t you mean shithole?

[Barns]

yeah, might as well! It’s the word of the week! x

[SandyToes]

As long as we are (ahem) briefly off topic and talking about houses and holes (not Hershey’s chocolate kisses)…one of my dad’s famous comments was, “She’s built like a brick house.” I never knew what that meant.

Anyone?

(He was not one to take out in public.

[dpfromva]

Most outhouses back in the day were wood (y’know, with that cute little half moon cut out), so I just always assumed that meant the girl was really built solid, stacked, whatever sexist term you want to supply for curvy hips and big breasts.
Silly old stuff, huh? Many of my older relatives I like to pretend I am not with them when out and about . . .

[Barns]

I think it meant she could handle herself in a bar fight, rather than have curves. Generally applied to massive men!

[Magwitch]

@travellinbug

I think around 35-40

Not sure whether to laugh or cry

[SandyToes]

Yep, that sounds in line with the connotation dear ol’ dad used.

@Barns - Nooo, but thanks for the LOL.

[dpfromva]

Oh no, not men. I now present to you the lyrics of the Commodores “Brick House,” 1977:

Ow, she’s a brick house
She’s mighty-mighty, just lettin’ it all hang out
She’s a brick house
That lady’s stacked and that’s a fact
Ain’t holding nothing back
Ow, she’s a brick house
Well put-together, everybody knows
This is how the story goes
She knows she got everything
That a woman needs to get a man, yeah, yeah
How can she lose with the stuff she use
Thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six oh what a winning hand
’Cause she’s a brick house
She’s mighty-mighty, just lettin’ it all hang out
She’s a brick house
Ow, that lady stacked and that’s a fact
Ain’t holding nothing back
Ow, she’s a brick house
Yeah, she’s the one, the only one, built like an amazon
The clothes she wears, her sexy ways
Make an old man wish for younger days, yeah, yeah
She knows she’s built and knows how to please
Sure enough to knock a strong man to his knees
’Cause she’s a brick house
Yeah, she’s mighty mighty, just lettin’ it all hang out
She’s a brick house
The lady’s stacked and that’s a fact
Ain’t holding nothing back
Shake it down, shake it down now
Shake it down, shake it down now . . .

[Barns]

Urban Dictionary: Brick Shithouse

[konacoconutz]

I wonder if shithole countries have brick shithouses?

[Cozy-Budapest]

My gut instinct is that his girlfriend had her period and is too embarrassed to say so.

However - I would not admitt to anything, but to simply ask “oh where and how did that happen” - maybe there is a tiny sharp spring on it that needs tucking away.

But you can never be too careful with people, there is always someone out to sue, so don’t admit to anything

[dpfromva]

Just another reason us colonies had to split off from you all – irreconcilable language differences

[SandyToes]

Good one! It does stand to reason doesn’t it…

[KKC]

@dpfromva

Commodores “Brick House,”

Joan Osborne’s acoustic version of that song is awesome.

I agree that the idiom means the woman is well built, not that she’s strong. If applied to a man then it would mean strong.

[Stpetersburg]

means big and sturdy…well in british english )