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Guest enters personal bedroom unannounced

Last night after my husband and I retired to our room I heard our bedroom door creep open. Luckily I was clothed and I started to get up to check it out. But then she peeked her head around the corner (there’s a hallway you have to walk through after you go through our door) and I about jumped out of my skin. She said she was sorry but she couldn’t explain why she came into our room. I escorted her out into the common area where she finally said she was looking for her husband. He was in the bedroom so I walked her back there. Let me state that our house is not big and very open concept so there is no way anyone of their right mind could get lost. I ended up locking both our room and my son’s room that night and didn’t sleep well that night. I messaged the couples daughter as she helped check her parents in and gave me her number. Here is what she said “Thanks for getting in touch - I let my dad know - I had told him he needed to keep a close eye on her in a stranger’s house. She has some early stage dementia-like memory and processing issues so she tends to get lost sometimes. I’m sorry that happened and I hope it won’t happen again. Thanks for your kindness and please stay in touch about whatever.” The parents are here until Wednesday. What would you do if you were the host and this happened, if anything?

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If you can see signs of dementia I would let it go. But if that’s an excuse I would have Airbnb cancel their reservation.

I had a similar but worse case 2 weeks ago and I regret not cancelling their reservation. I got 1 star review with a terrible review saying THEY would never be back when they broke into my room with me naked on the bed , checked my room out while I tried to cover myself and ask them to leave my room, broke MANY house rules and were very impolite all the stay. My listing had ONLY 5 stars and I am a SH. Today I called Airbnb and I am so upset!!

Try to see if that’s true about the dementia or if she just wanted to sneak peek into your room thinking no one is there. From there I would make my decision.

Oh mine,i am just thinking, you said daughter helped you, hopefully not the same guests as I had. Are they a Chinese couple?

The couple is not chinese. The lady is of Asian decent, and her husband is Jewish. Both are very American.

Whilst I think it’s a shame that the family didn’t tell you in advance, early onset Dementia is such a difficult condition for families to cope with and sometimes they find it difficult to share that it is happening. . It is not uncommon when people with dementia, who aren’t used to their surroundings, become disorientated and distressed and wander because they don’t know where they are.

In your situation I would have a chat with her husband, let him know what has happened (in a friendly, concerned - rather than accusatory way). Ask him to try and make sure he knows where his wife is, if she has a tender to wander.( Locking your doors is a good idea.) If she has dementia she wouldn’t have been able to explain her actions to you.

Ask him if there is anything you can do to make her stay more comfortable. https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/Caring_for_someone_with_dementia/

I can’t believe you are being advised to cancel their reservation because the mother is sick. I wonder if @Vera would be suggesting this if the mother had cancer. I do appreciate that you had an unpleasant situation Vera but you can’t compare that to the actions of someone with Dementia.

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This is what I wrote: “If you can see signs of dementia I would let it go. But if that’s an excuse I would have Airbnb cancel their reservation.”. Please read well.

edit: ‘But if that’s an excuse’ meaning if it is not dementia.


Sorry to sound harsh, but you should cancel that resevation. I feel sorry for the woman but god forbid she leaves on a faucet heater or oven and causes severe damage to your property. That guest needs to stay with family, Airbnb isnt for everyone.

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Remember that you don’t have to accept third-party bookings. In fact, they are against AirBnB’s rules.

I know some hosts don’t have a problem with them, but I am more comfortable having the guests in my home be the ones accountable if something goes wrong. I had a local professional book for her elderly father, and she promised she’d stay here too, but she ended up taking off, and my partner and I were left looking after poor old dad, who needed a lot of assistance. It was an unpleasant situation.

It wasn’t a third party booking. The husband booked for him and his wife, but I didn’t know exactly how to approach them late in the evening. Since the daughter helped them check in and gave me her number I felt more comfortable reaching out to her at least last night.

Ah, it is true that you didn’t say it was a third-party booking, but I assumed it was since I couldn’t imagine why else you’d get the daughter involved.

A hotel is more appropriate for someone with dementia, than a private home. I would make some comment in your review of these guests that they are more suited to stay in a hotel than a private home. You need not go into details about why, or mention the dementia in the review – in my opinion it would be better not to. You could if desired in the review make a general comment about the guest having orientation issues and perhaps state that as a result of these the guest entered your private bedroom by mistake. The fact that guests with dementia could easily do such a thing is one reason that they are more suited for hotels than private homes.

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