Friends who want to stay in your Airbnb for free.....How to be diplomatic in saying no

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I stumbled across this thread today.

We had this when we were in London; we only Airbnb’ an air mattress in the living room so its not very high end at all but you can all imagine what accommodation in London esp in inner London is like. For 9 weeks straight we had friend after friend wanting to stay and we felt bad as they had all just moved here and were looking for places. HOWEVER, one friend got a bit to comfortable. In the end when she wanted to come back a second time I said it’ll be £10 a night to cover costs. She was happy with that. It was awkward with the other ‘friends’ as I don’t think they realised how expensive living in London can be - they never gave us anything (turns out we never really heard from them again after they got settled in there own places - users!).

9 weeks is a long time without a living room. horrible experience.

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Situational. We built the business based on a frequent visitor’s habits & preferences. We gave a him deep discount based on the understanding that he would give us a solid five-star review (with private feedback). Done & done. Other guests have to pick from our slow days; no hard & fast rules.

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I encountered this situation when first build my island, because all of a sudden I gained or got discovered by a lot of ‘friends’. After the usual hellos the subject gets to: “Maybe I will come visit sometime”, and I have learned (after a few mistakes) that is the point where I interject - “Oh, the island?, I use it for rental income”, and keep right on talking about the ‘good old days’.

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Hi Kirsty, I so hear you. I have had pretty much the same problem since I rented a 2BR villa in Bali, hoping to offset the cost of the high yearly contract by letting the second, self contained bedroom on Airbnb. Two days after moving in a friend asked if she could stay a couple of nights. She stayed a week. (Paid nothing) Next friend stayed 2 months - gave me a little money but I felt I couldn’t promote it while she was here. Blocked it on my calander. Had a few great bookings after that then same friend arrived back (I said she could stay as I had no bookings) She stayed 2 weeks and invited her local boyfriend to stay too… She lost her credit card on her last day so I had to pay all her local tabs. She hasnt paid me back yet. Sigh. Just how far ahould we go as Airbnb hosts living in prime locations in helping out our friends who want to stay with us?

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Susan, you need to set limits here and fast. I have a self-contained unit that I am, this very week, lending out for free. However, this young woman is very close to me and she even offered to pay. She and her boyfriend just had a baby. They took jobs in a remote outpost in Canada for the high pay–they both have huge student loans and this young woman’s mother has pretty much rejected her, her boyfriend and their baby. It’s very sad.

The point is, I offered and I’m happy they’re coming because she’s a great person.

You need to find a diplomatic way to say no. How about we’re having the place fumigated that week, then, oh we’re having it painted that week, then, oh we’re having the floor done that week. Gosh, you have no idea of the wear and tear this place is taking with all these guests coming through!

I know these are white lies, but I also know how hard it can be to turn friends away without hurting their feelings. The thing is, after getting enough of these excuses, they’ll stop asking. So even if they check your calendar, you can have a list of excuses ready. (If they show up and wonder what happened, you can just say your plans fell through, contractors being as hard to find as they are.)

I hired a cleaning lady who used to check my calendar too. I hated it. She would phone me the night before, telling me I obviously needed the place cleaned the next day. The thing is, she was a great cleaner and I hated letting her go, but I felt I was losing control of my own business! She would say things like ‘We won’t be eating much this week’ etc., and I’m a softy so I would tell her, ‘Yes, please come,’ when the fact was, I could just as easily have done the work myself (I only hired her for those times I couldn’t).

We’re BUSINESS people, not fundraisers, so get clear on the money aspect of what you’re doing. White lies aren’t for everyone, but they’ve saved my behind on those occasions when I knew–just knew–I was going to cave.

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Innocent white lies oftentimes fall under diplomacy, especially when dealing with friends, who do NOT know better.

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Funny. Nobody ever seems to want to visit Toronto for fun.

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Well westjet have just started up from London to places in canada so you may see Brits etc head your way.

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I have the same experience: We have simple setup, very light-furnitured space. I can usually clean up within a hour and a half by myself. I hire the cleaner when there’s same day turnover and he’s been pushing for hiring him more often (it’s not cheap, $100 each time for a turnover cleaning, not even deep cleaning).

He asked for my Airbnb listing link, saying he’s got relatives who may visit and consider my place. Of course, it didn’t happen, now that you pointed it out, I guess he’s trying to check my listing calendar!

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I ended up going with a cleaning service, one that also charges an arm and a leg, but I pay rather than lose a booking or get a bad review. The one problem is that I never get the same cleaners, so I have to really spell out what to do–ie., especially when it comes to washing towels and laundry–and they’ve messed up a couple of times, but I can’t provide someone with steady work, so it’s a compromise.

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I hate cleaning staff. They break things (family heirlooms they have no business touching) and steal stuff. They’re worse than your worst guests. And they’re so apologetic because they want the steady revenue stream. We even got invited to a wedding - didn’t go. This was in our pre-Air days. Some kack-brained idea of my wife. Never again. The memory just makes me shudder… and the notion that another might be harassing you for business. YUKKKKKK!!! And from what I’ve seen, they don’t actually clean anything properly anyway - they just make it look clean. I’d hire Billy Bob any way of the week.

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Real friend would never deprive you of income.
My long time friend called before New Year dnd asked if he can stay for a couple of days.I told him that I am using spare rooms for rental. He immediately told me not to worry and he will book a hotel.
My father stayed in hotel when he came to visit because my rooms were all rented.
When friends are staying over for free, it’s basically they are reaching into your pocket and take your money. One thing if you did not rent out room, but still people can not just use someone’s hospitality without contributing anything to household. When I am staying in friend’s house, I buy food, wine and take them out few times.
I stayed in my very good friend’ house for a week. Though she forbid me to buy food, I took her out for dinner twice, and bought nice opera tickets to reward her for her hospitality.
It’s funny how you said you never saw your " friends" again. I had exactl the same story with my " friends " who basically used me for weeks and then did not even invite us for housewarming party.

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This is what I say now. I can’t block off my calendar for people. That’s like me writing a check for their accommodations. I wish I could afford to do that, but not yet.

I did this twice for friends and relatives but never again. The first is a good friend. She made sure we always had meals up here and took us out places to show her appreciation. The other was my cousin who would come and go like my Air guests and not even ask, can I bring you something from the store, knowing I had to teach everyday. I’ll never do it again. I can’t pay for your accommodations.

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I’m just straight up honest (in a diplomatic way) "Hey, would totally love to have you stay but it helps pay the bills so I can offer you a rate of _____ if that works for you.

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I think we obviated the “friends” staying for free issue. I sent the AirBnB link to our place to all the “friends” in my inbox, saying this is our new venture, drop me a line if you want to book and we should be able to sort a bit of a discount. Not had a single “friend” want to stay. That said real friends and family, I think that we would try and accommodate.

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Even this would be awkward… Maybe it’s just better if visiting friends who have to pay stay nearby. :slight_smile:

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True Kona. I would feel weird charging friends, now that I think of it. I think the thing is to determine what category people fall into…either you wouldn’t mind them staying for free, because you are so close or like them so much, OR they fall outside that category and get either the no or the excuse…(knowing me it would be an excuse, even if it was something to do with exorbitant mortgage payments). The young couple I have here now are adorable and have offered to pay, but I see myself as a bit of a god-mother to her kid, so I like seeing her and her family. Dunno about a lot of other people, to be sure.

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This is when I would say, “That’s great, let me know when you’re in town and maybe we can meet up for lunch one day”. It tells them that you’re not offering them free lodging :wink:

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Lunch = cheaper than free lodging. I got some friends that ‘reserved’ 6 precious days in April, I already cut them down to 3, and them suggested all the GREAT places to stay IN town. I did such a sales job, they may longer, now got to take them fishing that much longer; yuk.

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Ive been putting off hosting annoying friends for years now. Funny how my house is always getting remodeled. :slight_smile: and any other time, when my sons are home, there’s not room upstairs for all of us. I cannot block off my studio for non paying guests. Most people get it.