First night hosting, feel awkward

This is my first night in my first guest hosting. I posted on another post on here that I’m also very sick. The guest checked in and everything seems great. I feel comfortable with her and I’ve been very accommodating. I wish I wasn’t sick because I’m not sure I’m going to work tomorrow and I don’t know if I want to go out in public and get other people sick. But I feel like a prisoner in my own home because of the design of my home it’s small and I feel like it’s very awkward when we see each other. I showed her where the dishes are and where everything she will need is but it just feels so weird. And I’m introverted so this is such a challenge for me. I hope it’s a good experience for everyone. Does it get easier? When I’m not sick, it will be easier for me because I can choose to leave or be gone and give them space. She’s pretty much hanging out in the room she rented but she is welcome to use the entertainment center in the basement and I told you that. I just feel so weird to have a stranger in my home I’ve never done this and it’s weird I’ve had roommates but I’ve never had this. It’s very different

Well, first congrats! :slight_smile:

I never hosted in my own house but I can only imagine how it is being in your own room knowing someone else is in the other one… I think you should be easier with yourself. It’s your first time and probably a new feeling. Surely, it’ll get better with time.


It doesn’t help that you are sick. I would guess this is adding to your discomfort in having a stranger in your home. I think it does get easier. I just started renting my home as a short term rental in April of 2017. I generally rent out my entire home but during these slow months, I am renting a room in my house. This is only my second time doing it this way. My current guest is originally from Taipei but lives in CA. She is here for 4 nights. My mindset is that I treat each guest as if they are a friend of a friend or a friend I haven’t met yet. I hope you feel better soon!


Gosh… I rent a separate space and so really can’t help much, but just to say sorry… maybe some others here who do home sharing can assist?

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Aw, Laura,

I do hope you feel healthy and your old self again soon.

You have your very first guest and of course it feels weird. It’s all so new for you. It sounds as if you’re a very thoughtful one and I bet your guest feels welcomed.

No doubt after you’ve shared your home with a few more guests you’ll be posting here to encourage and support others who are experiencing their first guests.

Congratulations on becoming a member of our cyber-family of hosts. We’ll be right here to help you along with any questions you may have.


It is weird to have someone in your home! I’ve been doing this over a year and a half now and I still feel awkward. We don’t share any spaces with our guests except the hallway, so that makes it easier. But I’ll still wait until I KNOW they’re in their room until I run out into the hallway to go to the bathroom or to my own room or whatever. I feel ridiculous but I’m so introverted and awkward generally. Obviously if I do bump into them in the hallway I’ll stop and chat (I’m quite good at pretending to be socially confident :joy:)

So no, I guess it doesn’t get better. But there are things you can do to feel more comfortable in your home. Is it at all possible to give them a separate living area somehow? Do you have a separate dining room they can hang out in? Is your kitchen separate, so if you said no kitchen access you’d have that space to yourself? Can you add a comfy armchair and a tv to the bedroom to encourage them to hang out in there more?


I rent a whole house that is located 40 feet from the house I live in on the same property and I felt weird the first time I had guests so you’re not alone.

I’m sure a lot of your anxiety comes from not feeling 100% but still wanting to give 100% to make sure your guest has a nice stay. It’s natural to feel unsure in new situations and being sick no doubt is amplifying those feelings. You’ve opened up your personal space to someone new - that’s a big deal.

My suggestion would be to be kind to yourself in this new situation and take care of yourself. All you really need to do as a host is check-in with your guest from time to time to see if there is anything she needs and answer any questions she might have.

Hang in there!



It will get better!

You will grow more confident in what you are doing, in the service you are offering and in your interactions with guests. You will feel better and act more natural as guests go by, and this in turn will make your guests feel more at ease, thus creating a virtuous circle for your hosting.
Yes, there will be bumps: sickness, the odd bad or weird guest, or just people you don’t really click with. But overall the “job” will become nicer and easier to handle. Having people over in your house can be great fun!

All the best and do not worry too much.


You will
Definitely feel much better later on. I don’t think any host felt 100% comfortable in a beginning.

After 3 years of hosting I really don’t feel any discomfort at all. Your guests know it’s your house and if some forget it’s ok to remind them :joy:. Don’t try to make them feel “at home”. Comfortable and easy but not like in their own house… because it’s not their own house . It’s good that your first guest at least stays in her room. I had guests who after learning that there are 2 more guests in other rooms set themselves in a living room , pull out their cells and start shouting at 11 pm. It’s time to remind them about their room
That they rented and no cell yell rule .

Hope you will get better but don’t even think of “giving space” to your guests. Don’t alter your life because you started hosting. Of course don’t vacuum when your guests sleep but other than that do your usual things


Don’t despair!!! If you have flu, you have a viral infection. I don’t know about where you are, but we have about three different strains running amok in the UK, one of which is very nasty indeed. So you would be feeling weird anyway, even without your guest, particularly the more you move about, which is why you just want to curl up under the bedclothes. Lots of fluids and rest/sleep as much as you can.

On a wider front, guests may be staying in your home but are otherwise independent of you socially.


What nice responses! The voice of experience.

No cell yell. how funny.

Reminds me of my guests who got up at 6am and walked out on the patio (not shared) but directly under my room and started yakking on speaker.

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Thank you everyone! It went okay. She showered in her shower room in the basement and left for the day. I have the house to myself until she returns. I feel somewhat okay just sitting up so I may venture out to the store for a few things. But being sick sucks and it is so weird having a stranger in your house too. And I’m obsessive about being clean and I’m just afraid that she’ll see crumbs on the floor that I missed and think was slob because I advertise my place is clean. Unfortunately because the home is a typical Saint Paul Craftsman, all of the rooms kind of flow into each other so her bedroom is really the only space that she has to herself. She can go in my and entertainment room in the basement and watch TV and I told her that. I never go down there except to get things from the pantry. I think it will be okay but it will definitely be odd if a man comes here so I will have extra boundaries and lock my door and stuff cuz I’ve read some horror stories. I would love to have her separate house to rent out. Maybe someday I will invest but right now it is really weird having a stranger in my house

Get yourself something you really like for dinner and maybe some tea and lemons if you don’t have them then settle in and rest. Sounds like everything is going along fine for your guest.

Hey @lauras0323, glad you got some support already and that it’s going as well as to be expected! @GutHend has it right when he said you will grow in confidence with time.

One thing I would say: don’t be too generous with your space. I can’t quite envision your set-up from what you’ve said, but it sounds like there is potential for guests to take over the whole place if you’re not careful. Do you rent only to one guest or two? It’s SO important to feel that you have your own space when guests are around. Otherwise you will end up resenting them hugely.

And another thing (!). I wouldn’t think about “extra boundaries” for male guests. It’s best to have clear and consistent boundaries for all guests, no matter who they are. Female guests can be nightmares too, you know.

Finally, hope you get well soon :slight_smile:


I’ve been renting rooms in my home for five years. At first I assumed I had to chat with them. Gradually I’ve made the rooms more self-sufficient, with TVs, dorm fridges, microwaves, etc., and have come to see I don’t have to socialize with them. They’re here for their own stuff and presumably have friends they can call.

Luckily the way my place is laid out the rental rooms are at one end of the condo and mine on the other so we only run into each other in the kitchen.

In spite of all that, there are times when I am SICK TO DEATH of always having people in my house. This feeling passes. Most of my guests have had school or work to go to, and except for one 19 year old who thought it was going to be like the frat house, most are prepared to leave me alone.

Being sick makes everything more difficult to cope with, so it probably will get better as your health does and as you get used to it.


When I started it was the guest room and I definitely had a couple who parked themselves in my space and wanted company. But once I put the separate entrance I got more bookings and if I want I can always invite folks in. I’ve gotten a few that ask if they can come in to my space and visit with the dogs. I do feel that I have the best of both share a room in you home worlds.

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Don’t worry. You can let your space to guests in a way which feels comfortable to you and set your own boundaries. I don’t allow guests in my living room. They are only allowed in the kitchen at set times. That’s fine - you don’t expect access to staff quarters in a hotel do you? Anyway my guests are busy sightseeing, on courses, on a work trip or experiencing the cafe culture etc., they don’t need to be getting under my feet. Just be clear about the space offered.

Hi Laura
Great to hear it is going well. I am putting together a picture of your home, being from Australia I only know about basements from watching House Hunters.
You mentioned the guest showered in the basement, there is an entertainment room you rarely use and a pantry.
Is it possible to make the basement the guest space ie the bedroom, living area for them. Locking the pantry. Just a thought.
Nerve wracking the first time but you are a caring person and that will show through to your guest.