First bad guests ever! What do you do next?

Please James, the reason why the system doesn’t work is because of the feelings you are experiencing - that you don’t have a right to be respected in your own home. If you thought you deserved better, and other hosts do too, you would seek to help the system work by producing an honest review. I know it’s uncomfortable, but no one will judge you for it. I can assure you that every guest that is taking advantage of you (except the odd few) will act sweet and nice - that’s exactly how you get away with such atrocities without being thrown out on your backside. But as someone very intelligent once said to me, nice is what nice does, not what nice says. And in this case, your guests most decidedly, we’re not the nice people you were duped into believing. They undoubtedly knew that you were concerned for the child sleeping on the high bed, or you wouln’t have prepared the other, so why then did they not respect your concerns? Was it cultural? No, because you showed them the bed that you said would be safer, and apparently they understood but ignored you anyway. So many things that show you weren’t being respected here, no matter how they smiled as they took advantage. Help make the system work!

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Also remember you will never see these clods again, so don’t hesitate to tell the truth about them… but be sure to do it at the last second or they might smack you with something in return, perhaps sensing you didn’t care for them.

One other thing… if you don’t have clear rules set forth in the beginning they will run amok. Just like the elementary school classes I teach. You have to lay down the rules before class starts if you want them to behave. Otherwise there is NO (zero) expectation from them of good behavior, and chaos will ensue.

You can’t trust guests to behave or even leave good reviews, when you are sure they left thinking you were the second coming of Christ. (Sorry if I offended anyone!)

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Thanks for the ideas people. They have reviewed me, and I am just waiting now. You are right, I might give them a break and end up getting low ratings. I find it hard to believe anyone would travel with a toddler to an AirBnB shared home! I raised a child, I know what those little devils can be like at 2 1/2, imposing them was just so way out of line.
If I do “Damn them with faint praise” and kill them with the star ratings, that should give a hint to others when they see them with 1 star across the board. But frankly, the Press is now full of stories slamming AirBnB for it’s reviews, saying the system makes bad reviews almost impossible.
We need a hosts review that goes from me to you other hosts and to heck with it going to guests. They rate us for other renters, we should rate them for other hosts. Given that opportunity, I would give those people a zero, never rent to them review! It isn’t so easy to say that when they are going to read it, and my future guests will see what I said about a guest. The way it works now, the Press stories are right, reviews as they are can not be trusted.
Last thing, believe it or not, when I went to polish my beautiful dinner table, they managed to put a big chip in that too! They are a wrecking crew!

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I’m so sorry for everything you experienced. My heart truly goes out. I experienced something similar (but not as bad recently). I was truly shaken up. I left a bad review.

Now that they’ve reviewed you, no need to wait. You may as well just leave it now. The ‘last minute’ advice is for when you think they might review you in return for you leaving a review, and say something nasty because they preempt that you were not thrilled with them. Once they’ve gone ahead first, the game is already on.

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You can also leave a review that says the truth in a way that doesn’t sound cutting -

Start with “So-and-so were friendly people and I appreciate them selecting my home for their stay in my city”

“I was surprised when they arrived with a toddler since they did not book a third person nor did they tell me they had a toddler. I did my best to make them comfortable even though I was not prepared and my home is not appropriate for a toddler”

Now, that’s not so hard, right? This tells hosts an important truth without name-calling.

“They were enthusiastic cooks who spent many, many hours preparing meals in my kitchen with a wide variety of spices - the smell of which still lingers”.

This doesn’t say THEY STANK UP DA PLACE BAD! but it does say 'if you let them use your kitchen, you’re in for an experience you may regret"

And try “I was saddened that many of my linens were damaged during their stay and had to be discarded.”

End with “As much as they like to cook, and with the noises and smells that come with any toddler, I’m not sure a sharing arrangement is the best for them. But I appreciate them choosing my home and wish them the best as they travel on”

The hard truth with a little candy coating -

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Brilliant, dc! I am a fan of leaving professional but factual and useful reviews of problem guests so that other hosts know what to expect. Always Important to sound gracious and accommodating while still warning other guests of what were serious problems.

As for the surprise kid thing, I have not yet been faced with that, but if I had been in your shoes, I would have turned them away. I would have said, oh I am sorry, your reservation was for two, and there are three of you. I’m afraid you will need to find more suitable accommodations." Plus, I just don’t rent to kids. Ever! My listing is very explicit about it, so there are no chances whatsoever of “cultural misunderstandings.” Let them pay for the embassy suites. People traveling with a 2-year-old have no business doing the home sharing thing. They just don’t. These people disrespected you and your space on every level. Please be honest in your review.

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As for the reviews being unreliable…one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Maybe other people invited themselves to have Indian food and loved standing in the kitchen for hours cooking. Maybe they love children. To answer your question: I no longer use instant book so I can look at every person in advance. I board dogs in my home and that is a key part of the experience here. It is implied by the title of my listing “K9 Karma Casa is now open to humans” and stated in my brief and detailed listing. I explicitly say “it is not a good place for kids because of the dogs.” People who don’t care about you probably still care about the safety of their kids. The only person with a kid had a 12 year old, but I still asked to be sure in advance. I also state that it is a small guest room. I don’t list any other available spaces or accommodations. I have offered the sofa or living room floor after people checked in and I scoped them out. I have found that I generally don’t enjoy having people here for several days. I prefer one nighters and have a limit of 2 nights in my listing. Some people contact me anyway and ask about longer stays and then I can approve them. I would put “no children under 12.” This is not my primary source of income so I can be picky. I’ve never had a truly bad experience. I had one young woman book for one and then her boyfriend stayed over. After the second night I just told her she had to pay the $10 per night and I submitted a change on airbnb. She said she understood and accepted the additional charge. I changed my description to say “no romantic rendevous.”

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Love the part about “the noises and smells that come with any toddler” - lol. At least you are not singling out their toddler!

I’m not sure that the star rating shows for guests. Does anyone know? I thought Airbnb does not make that public on a guest profile.

Your future guests aren’t really going to be looking at the reviews you left for other guests anyway. I mean some might just to see if you left everyone who stayed with you a negative review. But for those who check they will completely understand - esp. showing one negative review and all the rest you left for guests were positive.

I have wondered about this myself. I mean the whole point of reviewing guests is as a service to potential hosts, right? So, what is the point of the star ratings if we hosts cannot see their scores? That has been baffling me.

All of these companies, Facebook, airbnb, Google, Twitter and all social networks etc are completely all about mass data harvesting, and using it in ways to advantage themselves in order to capitalize and make money. Really it has nothing to do with our experience, and they don’t care two hoots whether a guest left your apartment clean. It may sound cynical, but do a bit of research and you will learn its true. It’s possible they are using it to find out which hosts are getting closer to burning out, and crunching data in different ways (that are probably completely useless and nonsensical). But they are definitely not using it to assist hosts in selecting guests that will help them have a better hosting experience. Airbnb is well aware that the review system is fatally flawed, but they don’t do anything about it - nothing in a monstrous company is without reason, so there is a reason they don’t assist hosts in knowing who their guests are, the way they help guests. The reason is guests won’t book unless they know enough to make them comfortable, but hosts are more likely to take the risk helped along by the penalties for denying and other dissuasions, need to make income, and desire to believe in people’s better nature. They do know that if hosts knew the truth, they would be far less likely to book a great majority of guests that have left huge messes, or refused to follow house rules or communicate effectively. This fellow hosts, is why you don’t get to see the ratings of guests.

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Don’t know why they have us do the stars on reviews. A waste of time.

That’s right… Sandy is right. Now just let it rip. And do share what you end up saying. Tell the truth. They were horrendous. Don’t sugar coat it.

And learn from it I suppose by not letting guests take advantage of you without your permission.

Some good advice from hosts here… and I think really being more clear in the rules and not allowing toddlers period (don’t be wishy washy!) will go along way toward a good experience for both guest and host.

You should absolutely say no children under 6 or even no children as all if that’s how you feel. Its really important to both you and the guest. I have a toddler and would hate to stay somewhere where the host was ‘tolerating’ us. Young children are not everyone’s cup of tea and have their own challenges and rewards. Children, even over 6, are far more likley to wet the bed, have accidents etc. It is up to parents to control their kids and most will be sensible, but you will get them jumping on the beds etc, its the way kids are. Run into a room, jump on the bed. They do it here all the time. I don’t mind so much as its usually short lived.

As for a review, be honest but stick to facts. They arrived without booking in the children, they use the kitchen for long periods, they are not inclined to mop up after themselves. If there is anything positive to say like they checked in on time I’d throw that in too. Try not to be emotional or angry in the review as it could come across as nasty.

I would say if you don’t like the smell of spices then just steer clear of asian visitors as they will cook with spices. I have a house rule that guests have to finish in the kitchen by 10pm.

That’s a brilliant review! Very gracious! Clever!

I actually had to just do one myself. House we rented was not as advertised and the host customer service was lame - she’s obviously inexperienced. I wrote a review extolling the virtues while still being clear about the discrepancies - such as “we were sorry to have to cut our visit short since the A/C wasn’t working” and “as the diner is 1.5 miles away down a winding narrow country road with no shoulder, I wouldn’t say that it is within walking distance, but, it is worth the drive!”. This corrected the error in her listing without being accusatory. Sadly, her review for me was “It’s unlikely I’ll rent to this family again” and nothing more, though we cleaned, took out trash, stripped beds, left a tip for cleaning lady. People reading that will be left to wonder if we burned down the house or stole her valuables. Well, you know what I said? I responded publicly “While this experience was disappointing for us all, we wish you the best of luck with your rental”. This makes it clear that we were none to happy either, but that I’m a nice person. Which I am!

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She might not be inexperienced, she might be just a totally oblivious host, sounds like it.
The fact that in her listing it says there an AC and when you arrived there was no AC, and she kept on insisting by saying “no one ever complained” that this is perfectly normal, tells me that it’s not the first time she is doing it, and she doesn’t even realize how wrong it is.
Not caring host reveals very fast. I still remember the host that I never had a chance to meet. She had an appartment attached to her house for rent.
Directions she gave were spotty, and I realized it when got of one station not knowing where to go. I asked people no one knew.
So, I texted her, andit took half an hour to respond. Then I still couldn’t understand what she was saying. Anyway, I texted her again , same story , no answer. I just took a taxi.
When I got to the appartment there was no one there, i assumed she would be home if she never said anything about keys, or door will be open. Nothing. She is not home and door is closed. I walked around the house, looking inside the windows, nothing. Then I saw something through the door mat and saw keys.
In appartment everything was miserable though appartment was nice. Towel with holes in it, broken blinds, no spoon to mix sugar in tea, no sign of wifi ( had to ask her again, she put on a shelf next to TV, why not on a nightstand or next to coffee maker, why next to TV where I would not know where to look).

I could just see that she doesn’t give a damn about her guests. I
I think your host was the same. You are telling her that the whole family is very uncomfortable, and she doesn’t care by answering “no one complained”. Hope you have her a very low score.

Im a new host.
But i would say, if you’re going to give a bad review. Stick to the facts, give the guests the benefit of the doubt, avoid statements regarding the mindset/ intentions of the guests unless they are absolutely obvious, and don’t be nasty.
I would expect the same of my guests, if they wanted to review me badly
.
Some of our bad experiences with guests are not ill intentioned on their part (although many probably are), and down more to cultural differences and ignorance (something which those in the professional hospitailty industry are probably better equipped to understand and deal with than we airbnb hosts), and that helps to be more understanding, especially when guests have not actually read the rules (Ive noticed many don’t - the same way we often dont read the small print on airbnb legal contracts before accepting usage of the site).

Sorry about your experience. I dont envy you! But I do envy the fact that this is your first negative experience after hosting so many. I hope my experience will be as good as your in that sense!

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The above is a perfect review. Please review your guests. Let all other hosts know that sometimes people aren’t suited for Airbnb or for sharing an apartment. But I might not want them on my private listing either.

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@69jamescole
OMG I totally understand where you’re coming from! I’m curious to know the location of your home? I’m in the heart of SF and the worst guest I had was a mid 20’s guy in town for a weeding. He got very drunk and brought his friend to my place while I was asleep. He kept knocking and calling out my name etc.

I was so irritated; I opened my door and cursed out his friend (who was very apologetic and didn’t know) and the guest. Needless to say he left very early in the am quietly and left me a stellar review.

As a single female I should have been more cautious but the anger got the best of me.
I digress: communication is key and I’m always 100% transparent about the do’s and don’ts. If you’re not comfortable with conflict just use your neighbors, landlord, legal- insurance coverage for ppl who bring guests, charge $X for anything that annoys you, easy way to say no without being the bad guy.

If the issue was the guests fault then Airbnb will work to find another location / host to take yours. Also under amenities there is a check box for family/ child friendly…