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Update, I am leaving the forum after I type this.
It’s pointless to keep arguing with people on the internet - it’s pretty obvious that we are not going to agree.
I have made it clear that I am not writing a review for this guest. To keep insisting is tantamount to bullying.
I am not a perfect person or host. But I’ve been getting good feedback for the past 10 years of hosting and I intend to keep doing what I’ve been doing.
The odd challenging guest is par for the course.
They’ve changed the wording of this, and now ask “Would you recommend this guest to other hosts?”
I noticed because we just hosted a couple who I didn’t like very much, but they didn’t really do anything objectionable. I considered giving them a good review and then saying no I wouldn’t host again, but the option had changed.
This thread serves as a warning to hosts: Don’t assume that a guest with glowing reviews will meet your expectations.
Some hosts believe that “never giving a bad review” is a moral high ground, but in reality, it’s just passing a problem guest to the next host. This can result in broken house rules, messiness, or making a host so uncomfortable that they vent on forums instead of addressing the issue directly.
Thinking that a private message will reform a guest is another misconception. A polite PM won’t magically change a guest’s behavior.
Finally, expecting unanimous support from forum members is unrealistic. The hosts here are honest and direct—they won’t coddle those seeking validation instead of taking responsibility. Honest public reviews are crucial for maintaining standards and protecting the hosting community.
Moral high ground?
I think it’s you that’s very self righteousness just because you can’t force someone to do something.
If this guy is autistic spectrum etc, writing “he was not that clean in the bathroom” or whatever on his review may mean he’ll still be clueless about what it was he did.
He needs to literally be told: “Dont blow snot out of your nose in the shower.”
I dont understand why some of you are so quick to attribute moral failure (self centered, seeking validation, being all about myself, claiming the moral highground) in this situation.
Gentle readers, just because a handful of people on this forum assume they have the ultimate insight into the Airbnb hosting business, doesnt mean anything.
Don’t let them bully you.
Venting and looking for support are fine, human, and understandable, but there’s no guarantee to get any particular response or opinion.
Otherwise, might as well have AI do the replies: "You are absolutely right. Your guest certainly is [Check all that apply: Strange. Dumb. Inconsiderate. Obnoxious. Scary. The Nexus of All Evil.] You certainly should expect [Check all that apply: Sympathy. Support. To Prevail. Compensation. An Award.]
We are all in charge of our reactions and hosting style. Take what is useful to you here and ignore the rest.
BINGO!!!
202020202020
Ok, so it seems you are not allowed to leave this forum once you’ve joined, so we keep going.
I didnt have the necessary social skills to tell him not to blow snot in the shower and not to be overfriendly.
I have answered this several times.
If Id done it poorly, it could even have backfired, with the guy introducing more objectionable behaviours.
As someone posted above, there is no “one size fits all” hosting style.
Thank you. This is very well put.
Are you getting unwanted notifications or something? I’m having trouble understanding what you mean by ‘not allowed to leave’.
@Mar If you don’t want to receive notifications of answers to a thread you started or are following, just click on your profile icon and change the notification setting to not receive them. I don’t receive them at all.
No one is forcing you to read or post here.
I did. Im still getting them.
And people should be allowed to delete their accounts on forums, no?
I wish to delete my account?
Is that a weird concept?
If i swear a lot will it get me banned?
I think a mod here can delete an account. Swear words won’t get you banned, but trying to sell something will.
You are not being bullied. You clearly came here to vent and get advice - that you asked for . No one is looking to force you to do anything. None of us here has that power.
You got advice and you don’t like it because those of us who may host that clingy, snotty slob would love a warning instead of a blank review. He may review you.
We are strongly suggesting you leave a review FOR OTHER HOSTS. That’s what the review system is for. Aside from giving the guests feedback. I would suggest you leave 2 stars for cleanliness and Air Message him about the boogers. SUGGEST, not bully.
Clearly your inability to set boundaries face-to-face caused the issues with this guest and now you’re not only ignoring sage advice from a forum you went to for help, you’re now claiming you’re being bullied.
You’re not. This forum and “handful of people” provide invaluable advice.
Yes I came here to vent about a problem
But then the thread became hijacked by a different topic - writing a review.
If you read through the thread you will clearly see that people are insisting on their point of view and making character assassinations when they don’t like the response.
The review system is not perfect - neither is life.
When I see a guest with a shitty review, I check out the guest’s review for the host. It’s often apparent that they didn’t like each other.
I take reviews with a pinch of salt. I would like to suggest that other hosts do so.
The nature of internet forums is that they often go off on tangents or get “hijacked”.
Just because someone starts a topic topic doesn’t mean they own the thread.
And disagreeing with someines approach, their actions or inactions is not “character assassination”- it’s too bad you perceive it that way.
I also cross-reference reviews if I see a bad one, but whether a host and guest didn’t like each other or not is not what I pay attention to, nor what I think is relevant. I cross reference to see how the host has reviewed past guests- do they seem overly fussy and have unreasonable expections of guests? Or do they give mostly nice, balanced, fair reviews, and the bad review was likely well-warranted?
Same with guest reviews of hosts- has the guest had criticisms of all their past stays or is the bad review they left for one host an outlier, so quite likely to be fair and accurate?
As I mentioned before, I don’t put stock in ratings, because they are so subjective and aren’t explained, but written reviews give me something to work with.
Er, terms such a “seeking validation” and “claiming the moral highground” were terms used about my objection to leaving reviews or writing private messages to objectionable guests.
We will have to agree to disagree.
Oh wow. So when you Google a business - any business - or use Yelp, those reviews don’t matter to you? Not the stars as they’re often subjective, but the written reviews?
REVIEWS MATTER. Apologies for shouting, but reviews matter. @muddy put it very well - it’s not about whether or not hosts and guests “like” each other, it’s about the overall behavior of the guests and if the host provided what was in the listing.
You’re making this emotional, and it’s business. It’s not personal.
Oh what a load of shit. Amazon and other websites are full of fake reviews.
People even hire other people to write reviews for their products. I remember reading about a "review factories " (for lack of a better word) in “developing” countries.
Not everyone writes reviews.
Its an imperfect system.