Critique my review of nightmare guest

This is one of the strangest tangents I’ve come across.

The OP, @balivilla , never said anything at all about anyone being gay or mentioning it or having any issue at all with it.

He only said, “Richard and his husband” in an address to his guests.

The mere mention of a spouse somehow elicited concern about mentioning “gayness” from a few other members. Perhaps they live in Florida?

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There’s a female stand-up comedian from NY, Liz Meile, whose routine I found quite funny. She talks about how she is “emotionally exhausting” (akin to being high-maintenance) but how she’s also considered to be cute, so she has to work on bringing the emotionally exhausting level down and the cuteness level up, so it will hopefully balance out. :rofl:

You may not consider “high maintenance” to be an insult, but I can assure you many people, those with little self-awareness, would take offense at being characterized that way. In fact, I have read posts from guests who were quite upset at receiving a review which called them that.

It seems to be a generational thing.

We should agree to disagree.

Is your goal for hosts to write an honest review that is useful to you because you don’t instant book? Or is your goal for hosts to write a review telling you everything you need to know about a guest, and then some, without offending the guest?

What did you say in the most recent negative review you wrote? If you don’t want to offend anyone then I suggest, “So and so stayed for 6 nights” and then knock them down on the stars, lol.

There are so many things in the review that the guests should be embarrassed by but high-maintenance is the most neutral and diplomatic. And I don’t think they care either. It’s not for the guests. It is for the hosts.

Yes, I found the jump to “gayness” odd, too. Mentioning “his husband”, “his wife”, or even the name of a guest’‘s companion, whatever, is a concern if the host is not aware of the guests’ relationship and simply makes assumptions, quite unrelated to sexual preference. Sometimes a host has been taken to task by an upset guest because the host named their companion or said “his wife” or “his partner” in the review, when in fact, the guest was having an extramarital affair.

But in this case, baliville says they were both on the profile as a couple, so nothing wrong with saying “Richard and his husband”. That they are gay is irrelevant and no reason to change that wording.

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It’s truly bizarre that it ever came up. :frowning_face:

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It has nothing to do with my own personal situation of not using IB, nor with any “goal”. Nor is it about not offending a bad guest ( I couldn’t care less if poorly behaved people are offended by getting called out).

It’s about writing reviews which are informative to all hosts, in a way that can’t lead some CS rep to remove it.

Personally, I am very fortunate in that I have never had a bad guest I had to leave negative comments about to warn other hosts.

As for some hosts thinking that wording that makes it clear a guest is gay by mentioning their “husband” or “wife”, is to be avoided, I know there are lots of gay guests who want hosts to be aware of that- they don’t want to arrive to a listing and be met with prejudice, whether blatant or simply felt.

“High maintenance” is absolutely informative. And I happen to be really good with guests who are described as high maintenance. That on its own would not turn me off, it would only tell me that I need to be on my toes, which is easier if I’m aptly prepared (and up my supplies, lol). But some hosts don’t want to or can’t do high-maintenance guests so it informs them too, to not accept the reservation or to cancel the IB.

A CS shouldn’t remove a review for that. It doesn’t go against the review policy, which is what reviews should adhere to. Some CS will do whatever they want regardless of the policies. That doesn’t mean that we should work around this type of CS, be less honest or descriptive because of it, because that type of CS is inherently unpredictable anyway. A negative review may offend a guest. There’s no way to word it that will make them feel less offended about it. And, once again, it is not for the guest. It is for other hosts.

they should be removed, under airbnb policy that would be removed because of relevance issue,
Is the review helpful to other members of the Airbnb community? Does it provide essential information aboutguest, listing, or experience that would help others make more informed booking decisions?

No, that doesn’t give any relevant information.

I just woke up, there is so many comments, thank you all for the feedback.

Someone asked how I know about the cat, did I spy on them, my housekeeper saw them play with the cat inside. My villa doesn’t allow pets, but I don’t really care if they played with that cat inside, its their complaining something pooped inside and pretending they don’t know what it was, when its clearly cat poo, and no animal from the jungle could have done that, and they clearly said they closed all the doors and windows because of the concert.

Complaining just about the concert is not what bothered me, its the exaggerating that it is lasting 2 days non stop all day, but I live closer to that concert place and it just began few minutes before he texted. I was even joking with my wife when the concert started for sure they going to text about this, it took them 5 minutes after I said that

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Perhaps your airbnb description should include the info an=bout a concert venue - it could be a plus, you know, when visitors find out they can attend something that close. It can also defuse the issue when the guests arrive without knowing that it is there. Your 'response to their complaint then could have been to direct the guest to reread what they ‘signed up for’…

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So they broke house rules about no pets and brought a stray cat inside. That is definitely worthy of including, along with the fact that they then complained when it pooped inside.

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My villa is in the jungle, in rural setting, there are thousands of airbnbs that are closer to that concert place, and the concerts maybe happens 2 times a year, the area of Ubud is famous for yoga, meditation, quietness. The concert thing is so rare, and the quiet hours are super strict, at 10 pm all noise stops.

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I had a guest once who had booked another place in town for a few days before her booking at my place. Because her host was remote and wouldn’t have known the answer, she had the gall to text me at 3 am saying there was loud music coming from somewhere which was preventing her from sleeping and did I know where it was coming from.

Luckily I turn my phone ringer off at night (as a homeshare host, all guests have to do is knock on my bedroom door if they have an emergency issue), so I didn’t see her 3am message until the morning. I sent her back something like “Welcome to Mexico. You arrived on the finale day of a week long festival and Mexicans love their music as loud as possible”.

She was a bit high maintenance in other ways, too (lots of questions when she booked), but was a pleasant and friendly guest who left her room quite clean and tidy, so nothing I felt I had to warn other hosts about.

Gay people have historically and continue to face discrimination, hatred and – sometimes – even violence. When you use the phrase “his husband” you are pointing out sexual orientation when that orientation had nothing to do with the transgressions. It is an unnecessary detail, and I would leave it out so that nobody who is reading the review would think I had included this detail as part of my package of complaints. As a thought exercise, imagine if the draft review had begun “Rick and his muslim/black/you-get-my-point spouse” – again: unnecessary detail, and why include it in a review that is basically a list of grievances.

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Really? I don’t think it comes across as intent to point out sexual orientation anymore than saying “Richard and his wife” if the guest were heterosexual. And in this case, both were mentioned on the public profile, as I understand it, so mentioning both is quite acceptable and if the guest didn’t want future hosts to be aware of their sexual orientation, they would not have made their sexual orientation clear in their profile. As I mentioned above, many gays want their sexual orientation to be clear, to avoid uncomfortable bookings with predjudiced hosts, not to mention not wanting to put money in the pockets of
homophobes.

There’s certainly a case to be made, though, for not mentioning companions by name or relationship if it isn’t clear in the guest’s profile, or the guest doesn’t make a point of introducing “my husband” (or wife, as the case may be) because you are reviewing the account holder, not whoever they might happen to be travelling with.

It has nothing to do with pointing out his orientation, this review will be on his profile and in his profile he clearly mentions that he is a gay married man.
But I agree its irrelevant and I already changed the review because of other things.

I checked his profile now again and half the reviews start with Richard and his husband were…, I just don’t understand this debate about it, its so irrelevant for the review.

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While it’s not that rare in the area I live, I do advertise my place as quiet, which it normally is. There might have been maybe 3 times when an audible concert happened during guest stays and most of them slept right through it, or accepted it as part of the culture.
But I do mention the possibility in my listing info, in a casual way, just so I’m covered should a guest decide it’s something to complain about.

However, I’m also a believer in hosts not adding more rules or caveats just because one guest in years of hosting had an unreasonable complaint or bizarre behavior.

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@balivilla - As an owner of a property similar to yours (tropical, jungle/forest, stray cats/dogs, staff), I’d be most interested to hear that this guest and his husband had unrealistic expectations of a property in the jungle and complained about it non-stop.
Important points to me - 1) complained about cat poop after they locked the cat inside 2) complained repeatedly about low water pressure 3) complained about noise in the early evening.
How you say that is up to you. But I’d start out that they had unrealistic expectations and include one or two of my other points. That would be enough for me to tell them “Sorry, you won’t be happy at my home - go somewhere else!”

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My own 2 cents:

  • very short review that does not mention “and his husband” (and partner instead?)
  • include the cat and the cat poop
  • would not host again.

:roll_eyes:

Which only emphasizes that it’s not your place to decide whether or not someone’s spouse should be represented as their spouse or not after they’ve been introduced as their spouse. Nunya. Zip. Don’t be part of the problem.

They did. The guest referred to his husband as his husband and the husband is on the reservation.

Would you want someone to demote your spouse to ‘partner’? I sure don’t and I doubt anyone else who has gone to the trouble of getting and staying married does either. No one has the right to do that.

I’ve never known anyone who would give a flying :poop: about Richard having a husband other than this forum. It’s really quite embarrassing that this is the sticking point.

We know 3 things for sure: 1. Richard should not have brought that cat inside. 2. Richard was quick to complain and inconsiderate about the timing of his complaints. 3. Richard does not care what you think about his marital status.

Also it’s 2022, get a fking grip.

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