Can I only host women?

Hi - I am a divorced single mum with 3 young kids, including 2 little girls. I have moved one of my girls in with me so there is a free room. I would like to use the room to create come extra income but am very afraid of opening the kids to abuse. Is there a way you can only have women to stay, and you can check their backgrounds? with thanks,

Boys can also be abused, and women can also abuse. As a man I feel offended to be honest.
To answer your question: I think it is allowed to discriminate against us.

What I would do as a single woman is just put a picture of you with a male friend on your profile. And I wouldn’t mention the kids in your profile.


You’ll have to read the Airbnb Discrimination Policy (I’m too busy just now), but I believe sexual discrimination is against Policy. I do not believe you can say “Women Only” in your listing. At least a this point in time. Someone else asked this a month or more back, and I have a vague memory that Air was trying to decide if hosts could say Men Only or Women Only.

AirBNB Help: Can I choose to only host people of my own gender?

According to our Nondiscrimination Policy, you may make a listing available to only guests of your gender when you share living spaces with them (for example, bathroom, kitchen, or common areas).

Where can I specify that my listing is only available for guests of my gender?

If you share living spaces with your guests, you can add a custom House Rule in your settings that specifies which gender is allowed to book your listing.

Go to Listings on
Choose the listing where you’d like to add the rule
Select Booking
Under Additional rules and details in the House Rules section, add a custom rule that lets guests know which gender is allowed to book your listing


Aw, jeez. 90% of sexual abuse is committed by men. This astounding statistic gets overlooked again and again by men who try to turn the table to make themselves the victims. I’m a big proponent of treating people as individuals so I would never host only women. I’d also point out to the OP that only 7% of sexual abuse is committed by strangers. The greatest danger is from male relatives, friends or someone known to the family like a teacher or neighbor.

But really, your tender feelings are nothing compared to the epidemic violence perpetuated on women by men.


What do you want to say? That we can’t be victims of discrimination? Or that we can’t be victims of abuse?

Excluding all for the mistakes of few is DISCRIMINATION, not more, not less. If the OP doesn’t accept me for being a man, she is discriminating me and I can feel offended because of it.

This is a good one to remember, just fill in X and Y in a different way.

If you aren’t part of the solution, then you are part of the problem. I don’t know why I thought you were the former, not the latter.


What is astounding is that these kind of statistics are only allowed against white men…

In any other case the use of crime statistics as a reason to refuse certain groups of people is considered discrimination or racism.


You didn’t answer the question and then you start offending me? Impressive for the big leader, truly impressive! Part of what problem am I?

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I’m not a big leader. I’m a moderator who is entitled to my opinion just as you are entitled to yours. Having a discussion of how men who refuse to acknowledge the parameters of the problem is part of the problem is way outside the purview of this forum and this thread. There was no reason for you to flag my post.


You call me “part of the problem” while you don’t know me. That is inappropriate and that is one of the reasons to flag, so I flagged. That is my right.


An interesting read:

The Atlantic: The Understudied Female Sexual Predator

Two years ago, Lara Stemple, Director of UCLA’s Health and Human Rights Law Project, came upon a statistic that surprised her: In incidents of sexual violence reported to the National Crime Victimization Survey, 38 percent of victims were men––a figure much higher than in prior surveys. Intrigued, she began to investigate: Was sexual violence against men more common than previously thought?

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You ask me what I want to say and then flag my answer and play the “big leader,” i.e., moderator card. That’s inappropriate.

Hello @SarahFinchley

And welcome to the forum.

Airbnb does indeed allow women to host women only in accommodation they share @PuppyLover has kindly provided a link to information about this.

The reality is that the vast majority of sexual abuse takes place by men whether it is against women, children or other men.

You can ask guests to have verified photo ID and vet your guests before accepting them by asking your own questions.

Don’t let others here make you feel bad for making decisions which are in the best interests of you and your family.

I don’t agree that you shouldn’t mention you have children, some guests don’t want to stay in a listing that has children (obviously you don’t need to mention their ages or sex).

Nor do I feel women should feel the need to include a photo of a fictitious male partner.

Why not start off by accepting women only and you may find when you are more comfortable with the process that you will be more open to those of both sexes.

The reality is that you would not I am sure leave your children alone with guests, so if there is a way of making your bedrooms secure from the guest room, that would offer an added level of protection.

There are many single women including myself and others on this forum who accept guests of both sexes in their home. Whether I would have done this when my son was younger I don’t know.


I had a quick look at the article but strangely there was nothing in the actual article that actually supported the headline.

Then there’s the finding that surprised me most:

…while it is often assumed that inmate-on-inmate sexual assault comprises men victimizing men, the survey found that women state prisoners were more than three times as likely to experience sexual victimization perpetrated by women inmates (13.7 percent) than were men to be victimized by other male inmates (4.2 percent) (Beck et al., 2013).

The authors also note a 2011 survey of 302 male college students. It found that 51.2 percent reported “at least one sexual victimization experience since age 16.”

> About half of the victims reported a female perpetrator.

As well, “a 2014 study of 284 men and boys in college and high school found that 43 percent reported being sexually coerced, with the majority of coercive incidents resulting in unwanted sexual intercourse. Of them, 95 percent reported only female perpetrators. The authors defined sexual coercion broadly, including verbal pressure such as nagging and begging, which, the authors acknowledge, increases prevalence dramatically.”

And “a 2012 study using data from the U. S. Census Bureau’s nationally representative National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions found in a sample of 43,000 adults little difference in the sex of self-reported sexual perpetrators. Of those who affirmed that they had ‘ever forced someone to have sex with you against their will,’ 43.6 percent were female and 56.4 percent were male.”

@Helsi The article is basically saying that sexual crimes are under-reported when perpetrated by a female. Since it’s so under-reported it makes 1 : 1 comparisons difficult. This has been long understood, especially the shame men have around the issue of being victimized by a woman, so I’m not sure why the researcher was so surprised.

Meanwhile there’s all the other troubling statistics

  • Males were convicted of the vast majority of homicides in the United States, representing 89.5% of the total number of offenders.[50]
  • Males constituted 98.9% of those arrested for forcible rape[51]
  • Males constituted 87.9% of those arrested for robbery[51]
  • Males constituted 85.0% of those arrested for burglary[51]
  • Males constituted 83.0% of those arrested for arson.[51]
  • Males constituted 81.7% of those arrested for vandalism.[51]
  • Males constituted 81.5% of those arrested for motor-vehicle theft.[51]
  • Males constituted 79.7% of those arrested for offenses against family and children.[51]
  • Males constituted 77.8% of those arrested for aggravated assault[51]
  • Males constituted 58.7% of those arrested for fraud.[51]
  • Males constituted 57.3% of those arrested for larceny-theft.[51]
  • Males constituted 51.3% of those arrested for embezzlement.[51]

Personal footnote: I learned all the stuff in the 1970s while I got a degree in Criminal Justice. It’s not news, and things haven’t changed significantly in 40 years.


Thanks @KKC.

You are right it is hardly surprising that sexual crimes against men are under-reported whether perpetrated by men or women.

And that this is likely to be more than the under reporting of sexual crimes against women.

Certainly in the UK, much work is being done to make it much easier for both sexes to do so, the issue here often is our court system is not very successful in taking these cases forward.

I find it incredibly difficult to believe that 95% of sexual abusers against men and boys were women even in the small sample quoted. Having worked in this sector this goes against all the other research and evidence I have seen. Would you mind PMing me the link to the study?

And the second piece of research you quote doesn’t say who the perpetrator was just figures for who was abused.


If you look again in context it makes perfect sense. First you have squishy definitions like “coerced includes nagging and begging.” Putting that aside and rewording it you have less than half the males reporting being coerced but when they are, it’s mostly women. I’d be shocked if most men reported being coerced into sex by men.

Isn’t all of this from the article in the Atlantic?

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