Always feel guilty for calling people out!

Am I the only one that seems to resist the urge for wanting to call someone out for being a bad guest in their review?! I don’t even want to leave them private reviews just Incase they backlash and reply. I’ve had over 170 guests stay with us, and fortunately for us, about 160 were amazing but when it came to those 10 pesky, not worth it guests… I sometimes seem to “choke” at the review process.


Virtually everyone struggles with it. It is important to review honestly and if all of us would do it consistently it would make Airbnb better for everyone.


Do not feel guilty, you are helping other hosts.

We just declined a guest based on a previous review.
This guests had 5 reviews, 4 of them were only about how nice and friendly the guest was. None of these 4 mentioned anything about how clean they were (probably avoiding the whole subject and being nice).

The 5th one mentioned they left the kitchen in total chaos.

Don’t worry about backlash. Definitely mention bad stuff publicly, and think of it this way… They wouldn’t hesitate to review hosts honestly.

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I struggle with this big time.

I will soon be in a position to review my first long term guest. She was, for the most part, very good, and she’s a really nice woman. However, I had two really irritating issues with her.

First, she has a small dog. I have 2 cats. Before I accepted the reservation, she assured me her dog gets on very well with cats. If you call taking chase the moment he sees one getting along well with, then I suppose he does. It wasn’t the dog’s fault. He was bred to chase things. But I got annoyed with her assertions that he “just wants to play”, and it made her stay much more difficult than I anticipated, because I spent a lot of time managing which animals were where and when.

Also, though the dog is technically housebroken, he’s behaved rather badly, pooping and peeing in 5 different rooms of my house. She didn’t really go out of her way to prevent this from happening (at one point telling me to close the door to a room if I didn’t want the dog to do his duty in there) and she was rather lackadaisical in terms of cleaning it up. Picking the poop up off the carpet seemed a good enough solution to her.

Second, she wasn’t particularly conservation minded. I could deal with her leaving her ceiling fan on 24/7, but it was winter when she arrived, and she had again, a lackadaisical propensity to leave the front or back door wide open when taking her dog out for a walk. She also enjoys fresh air, so didn’t think much of keeping her bedroom window cracked 3 inches at night, when it was 15 degrees outside.

I didn’t make a big fuss about these things while she was here. I discovered that I have a very hard time chastising a grown person who I think should just know better and have more common sense. I did mention the window being open, and asked her to please not do that. She complied when it was still really cold out, but as soon as the weather was in the low 40’s at night, she started opening it again, while having the heat in her room up to 69.

Anyway, I have no idea how I’m going to handle her review. She is still in town for another 6 weeks, staying in another (not Airbnb) accommodation, and I believe she considers us friends. I consider her a friend as well. I really want to just say she was a wonderful guest with no issues, but I’m not sure my conscience will let me.

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Well this is a tough one. If you want to maintain her friendship, don’t mention the negatives in the review. If you don’t care and ou won’t ever see her again, I might write:

XX stayed for ___ and for the most part it was a good stay. However, she didn’t supervise her dog very well after promising me that he was house trained and wouldn’t chase or terrorize my cat. Unfortunately, these things happened on a daily basis. She didn’t respect my requests for energy conservation, cracking her window while blasting the heat in 15 degree weather. Despite reminders she didnt really comply, I am not sure I would be willing to host her again.

Write this only if you don’t care about being friends!!!

If you care about being friends this is one time I’d say don’t write a review.

What about:

‘Despite some issues with her dog and some differences in opinion regarding energy conservation, xxxx was a very friendly guest.’


Well… Guests shouldn’t be allowed a “difference of opinion…” They should be following the house rules or host requests.


Yes you’re right, I was just trying to think of a way it could be worded and possibly still remain friends. If it were me I think I’d rather mention it than not leave a review at all

I might not leave a review at all if I were concerned about this “really nice woman” or if I did, I might mention these things in the private feedback.

I guess I am questioning why you would value the friendship of someone who basically lied about their dog and then didn’t give a crap (no pun intended) if it used the toilet all over your house. And the best solution they had was to advise you to close the doors to your own house? That will just drive the dog to poo in other rooms. Someone who leaves the window cracked despite being asked to stop is just selfish. Confess I did the same n Prague, but the hotel turned off the heat at about 11 every night! For some reason it was toasty in the room, and opening the window a crack made things more comfortable. In some hotels, doing that will cause the heat to go off, so maybe that was what happened.


I’m one of those annoying people that needs windows open even in the dead of winter. I just need fresh air!

But agree with your points about why you’d want to protect someone who let their dog poo everywhere. To be honest I think we all have friendships with people who can be very different in their approach to life m; this might be one of those situations where the person is lovely but they live in a very different way from the OP. I couldn’t live with one of my dearest friends because she’s the type to use all the loo roll and not replace it and hates washing up. Two pet peeves. Adore her just would never live with her again.

Those are small peeves compared to what this guest did in the hosts’ home. My boys do the same with the loo roll and washing up, but can’t very well kick them out for that, can I? :laughing:

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To me the point is that you wouldn’t want these guests back for a return visit. So yes, they might be annoyed that you didn’t leave them a wonderful review but if you don’t want them back again, why should this be of concern? You don’t want to be ‘friends’ with bad guests and you don’t want them back so review them honestly for the sake of other hosts.

Why? If it’s private feedback then their reply would probably seem nonsensical anyway to potential guests who are looking at your reviews. If you have loads of great reviews, then they will just be seen as loonies anyway.


I’m also having the same issue! We had some lovely guests stay but when they checked out our cleaner said its the most mess she has ever seen a family leave- they used ALL the towels (even those hidden away), and left them soaking, left a grease stain on our couch, bent some of our blinds. I gave them 1 star for cleanliness but in the comments was silent on cleanliness… and still said i’d recommend them but now starting to regret that. I also left comments for airbnb. Should I change to not recommended? Is there anyone the guest will find out before the leave us a review?

And on that note, we don’t collect a bond, should we try and claim money from them to steam clean our couch or is that not possible (our diligent cleaner took photos)

Most of what we hosts are calling unacceptable behavior–leaving messes, making noise, etc.–is tolerated in hotels and motels. People feel that they don’t have to behave civilly because they’re paying someone to tolerate and clean up after them.

It’s this mentality that certain guests bring to Airbnb that’s causing us problems. I think Airbnb needs to address this. Gawd only knows they give us lots of pointers on how to be good hosts. I’d like to see them put some effort into telling guests how to behave.

I’ve had the longest run of wonderful guests so I suppose it was time for me to have some stinkers; and I did–2 in a row. Their review period is ticking away and I’m not sure what to do. Some of us here are encouraging us to be honest for the sake of other hosts, but I really am a softy. I may mark down on stars and then leave private feedback.


My goodness, she sounds like an awful guest, I think you are being kind. I am sure she is a really nice person but she didn’t seem to grasp the most fundamental of house rules and to allow her dog to repeatedly do its business inside is not acceptable on any level when staying in somebody else’ house, unless the poor dog is ill or very elderly ( I am a dog lover). I wonder what sort of feedback her current hosts will leave for her in 6 weeks time, or perhaps they will ask her to sort herself out or leave in the interim.

I think I would be inclined to agree with Zandra, leave no feedback if you value the friendship, but is it really a friendship or is she simply someone who transiently moves from place to place before wearing out her welcome due to her lack of ability to follow house rules?

If you wouldn’t want to host them again, and presumably you wouldn’t touch them with a bargepole, then you would also like - presumably - to save your fellow hosts from having the same experience. So please make sure that you’re accurate when you review and rate. Your fellow hosts will be eternally grateful. :slight_smile:


I’m another softy who finds it difficult to review less than perfect guests. The primary things for me are:

  1. was it blatantly disrespectful or a case of trying but failing
  2. did they continue with bad behaviour after being told (only relevant to live-in hosts, of course)
  3. are they completely new to airbnb

If 1) I just suck it up. If 2) they deserve a bad review and they get it. If 3) I leave private feedback so that they understand what is expected. I don’t want to destroy a newbie’s chance of using airbnb in the future.

Obviously, there are occasions when all three situations coincide.

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I have to say that letting a dog crap all over the house is blatantly disrespectful. Honestly, she’d have to clean up my vomit at seeing it as well.