@HostHost Have you tried appealing to the guest? If you can talk the guest into asking airbnb to remove it or at least edit it, they will allow it. It may seem counterintuitive but I think it’s worth appealing to the guest about your concerns with your daughter being mentioned. People are more understanding about that kind of thing then you may expect. I’d be clear with the guest that you’re not trying to get rid of an unfavorable review but that you’re only concerned with the information about your daughter. I can’t see that you have anything to lose by asking the guest.
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Some people have posted here in the past that they won’t host men in their shared space home at all for the reason of protecting their daughter. You aren’t the only one to have that concern and it’s a concern worth having.
Edit to add: For that matter there are grown women with the same concern. I stayed with a female host recently who said in the listing that the adult son lives with her. When I stayed the son told me he was visiting and would be flying back home the next day. And I have a gender neutral name and it seems that a good portion of my guests think I’m male although I’m female. I’m fine with that even though it’s a separate space.
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I’d really rather not go to extremes. I’ve had countless incredible guests of various genders. Trying to exclude all men seems remarkably challenging, especially for a man (which I am).
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I wasn’t recommending it, simply pointing out that your feelings are shared by others. Just because a huge percentage of men (the number used to be over 90%, not sure now since I’m retired from keeping up with the stats) commit the reported sexual assaults is no reason to exclude them. “Sexual assaults are usually committed by men” doesn’t translate to "usually men commit sexual assaults. "
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I had already suggested that upthread. I was falsely picturing the guest having mentioned the daughter in a “the host’s 12 year old daughter was very sweet, smart, and interesting to talk to”, sort of context.
But then the OP said it was in the context of complaining that there were children in the house, so probably not a guest it would be productive to approach about removing the review.
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Sorry, I missed that!
I did take that into consideration. And I still think it’s worth a shot. Just because someone complains about a child, doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t go out of their way to protect them from harm. It’s really kind of human nature. Besides, @HostHost has nothing to lose by sending the guest a straightforward and polite appeal. If they say no, then the worst that could happen is that he’d be at the same place he is now.
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Yeah, that would come off as decidedly strange! I like to stay in homeshares and I’ve never given the gender of the host any thought at all, but I don’t think I’d stay with a male host who said he only accepted female guests, lol.
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The problematic review has been removed! 
This is not because of Airbnb support seeing that the review as problematic. Rather, I messaged the guest and pointed out the problem. He was also unhappy about the review I’d given him. We agreed to mutually remove both reviews and Airbnb support was happy to comply. Airbnb support didn’t seem to care about possible quid pro quo issues.
In other words, the issue got resolved, but I still consider this a failure on the part of Airbnb, given that Airbnb refused to remove the review several times, saying that age and gender was not private information. Airbnb never relented on this point despite me talking with countless people both with messages and voice.
I would discuss it with people who fully understood. They would be on my side, but they seemed powerless to remove the review. Then the case would bounce around between many different people, eventually being snagged by some airbnb support dude who would just close the issue, while messaging me and saying that no private information was found in the review.
I have not at all paved the way for making airbnb support better at this for future people. Though somebody who runs into this may end up reading this thread.
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I wrote more to Airbnb trying to clearly explain the problems I ran into, and pointing out that this is likely going to happen to the next person, unless something is changed on the Airbnb support side.
I was very clear about how the system didn’t work in my case. And I discussed the importance of fixing this issue clearly for the next person who doesn’t want their child to end up at risk because of this airbnb support problem.
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This (contacting the guest) is what worked in the end, despite that the guest in question was clinically crazy. They specifically made other guests in my home feel unsafe. But they were crazy in some ways and not in others. They had their own version of relativity. They seemed to universally dislike other people.
I was giving it low odds that reaching out to them would be helpful, but in the end I was thankfully incorrect.
JJD advice was stellar!
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I’m glad you still put the issue in writing to Aibnb. Although the mutual removal of reviews helped your situation (and removal of his review of you was the right answer), removing your honest review of the guest has done a disservice to future hosts. I understand you needed a solution that works but really feel Airbnb dropped the ball on this.
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So odd that someone who can’t get along with others and as you say, seemed to actively dislike other people, would book a homeshare.
I’m glad it worked out that the review got removed, but it’s unfortunate that it happened by a mutual agreement to remove both reviews, as I assume you had some not very flaytering thinfs to say about this guest that other hosts now won’t be warned about.
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I 100% agree! The approach I was forced to take was a disservice to other hosts and their guests. This guests made other guests feel unsafe, and now the review saying that has been removed so that I could strike a deal to make my daughter more safe.
I’ve continue to push Airbnb to fix the underlying issue, but I also give that low odds.
This guest was clinically crazy.
Out of hundreds of guests that I’ve had, I’ve only left two negative ones, this being one of them.
They made all other guests feel unsafe. I felt a moral imperative to put that in a review. And to call airbnb and discuss the issue with them.
And yes, removing the negative airbnb review that I had left is a minus to other airbnb hosts and guests. But airbnb gave me no other option but to strike that deal in order to protect my kid.
If you haven’t already, I would flag this guest’s account. Also, rather than continue talking to CS reps, whose job is to try to resolve issues rather than change policy, fill out a feedback form regarding guests mentioning a host’s children by age and gender in a review.
I have also found it helpful, when messaging with CS, to start your message with a reference to the dept. that should be dealing with it, which can move the issue away from a clueless CS rep. For instance, in your very first message to CS, I would have started it with Trust and Safety Dept Issue.
When I have done this in the past, I was soon contacted by someone from the appropriate dept., who are usually much easier and more knowledgable than the outsourced, clueless CS reps.
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Yet again, you’re advice is spot on muddy! Than you for being so incredibly and consistently fantastic.
I do plan to follow up with a feedback form. And starting with " Trust and Safety Dept Issue" sounds like a much better way to go than what I did.
I did at one point end with with folks where they said that since it was a sensitive topic, everything needed to be in email so it was tracible. I took this as a good sign. It still took several days. A woman wrote in the meantime and said they understood the situation and were looking for a solution. But in the end, somebody closed out the issue with a boiler plate reply about how I did not meet the standards for having a review removed.
So then I started again, hoping to do better next time.
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I was able to get concerning wording that identified me removed from a review with no problem. I didn’t request the whole review be removed- just the phrase that compromised my privacy. I frankly can’t recall if I phoned or wrote. Don’t give up and don’t stop hosting!
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I posted the following as feedback - Feedback - Airbnb Help Center
Trust and Safety Dept Issue
In a review, a guest indicated the age and gender of my daughter. A potential predator could see this review and decide that my child’s age and gender matched their predatory interest. And then they could instant book a stay at my house in order to be closer to my child. Reviews are permanent, public, and directly associated with the home I own.
The Airbnb review policy says…
“Reviews must be unbiased, contain relevant information reflecting the actual experience of the reviewer during the stay or Experience, and follow our Content Policy.”
The Airbnb Content Policy says content can’t be posted that…
“includes another person’s private or confidential information”
For an adult, age and gender might not be private or confidential information. But for a minor, that information should very much be considered confidential.
I spent countless hours with airbnb support trying over and over to get my daughter’s gender and age removed from the review. A support person would fully get it, want to help me, but then pass it to another team mate. In the end, somebody would just close the ticket saying that the review did not meet the qualifications for giving out confidential information, and I would start all over again. This process was horrific, because I love being a host, but I also care about my daughter’s safety.
In the end, I asked the reviewer to remove the review and they did. But something needs to change so that it’s easier for airbnb support folks to know that the age and gender of a child is confidential information. Making this change will show that Airbnb cares about the children of hosts. Not making this change puts the children of hosts at direct risk.
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Thank you for sharing this.
I wonder whether you might want to consider adding a rule to your House rules that says:
“Posting in a review or in any app or website information regarding the ages or gender or the existence of the Host’s minor children is prohibited. By booking a stay guests agree that such information is private and confidential.”
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One classic rule with kids is to say what you want, not what you don’t want. If you say “don’t break the Ming dynasty vase”, then they might. Better to say “be very careful around delicate things”.
In this case, I don’t want to bring attention to my kid by saying anything in the listing. Many guests find her adorable and fascinating. And none have mentioned her age in a review before this. People are typically smarter than that.
I end up being friends with 99% of my guests. And as such, if I ask them to remove a review after words, they would.
This was a rare case of this one guy being the only guest to ever be vindictive, out of hundreds of awesome guests.
I specifically have done well by not having many rules.
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