You nailed it cabinhost!
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Let’s see if it passes for Faheem first 
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I think Faheem will like it as it’s factual and helpful and in the helpful spirit of the review! 
Hi @cabinhost,
That sounds great! It’s impressive how you managed to get everything in 5 lines, including a polite signoff. I’m feeling like I need to go back to school now. 
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That one prior sentence I used did sound a bit on the defensive side - that Magiie pointed out.
I know you really want to say “Look you fool…I even printed off the material and handed it to you, and you still didn’t even bother to glance at it. You’re lucky your ass truly wasn’t locked out all night.” - Lol!
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Hi @cabinhost,
Well, no, not really. He’s just a kid. Did I mention that he (and his girlfriend) are 20? And he seemed like a pretty together young man. I’m sure I was much worse when I was his age.
Having said that, I didn’t appreciate the 3 for communication. Which I’m sure will resonate with people here.
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With communication it’s as if you are damned if you do, damned if you don’t. At any age…I really couldn’t imagine just tossing aside a print out the host handed me…sheesh! Well this guest will be sure to read all the house guides from here on out 
I agree that this review doesn’t need a reply. If you absolutely must reply, as others have said below, limit it to two lines or something, as it seems that your reply makes it a bigger issue than it appears to be. Maybe something like “thanks for the great review and yes, future guests please make sure you read the info in advance”.
I know that when I have a similar situation I will write out my reply, will sit on it for 24 hours and then post it here to take the advice of my peers. Good for you, Faheem, that you are such an awesome host and work so hard to welcome the guests. I don’t think this review has anything negative in it at all.
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I like this one as it is very concise. I also think it can be left up to the guest to decide whether they are comfortable walking through where your family may be, which I would consider a plus. I will also admit I sort of like that without sounding defensive it puts it back on the guest that he was a bit of a bozo to make it sound as though they were stranded overnight when all he needed to do is knock. Clearly you are a much better person than I to be so kind in your response.
I hear you, the things we diplomatically say for the common good. If a door is closed, you knock, I mean really. 
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Labor is ultra cheap and plentiful in India. A gate guard is paid pennies a day as are cleaning people, gardeners, etc. They sleep on a mat in the corner and are poor beyond poor, and are usually treated very badly. I’ve been to India. I hope Faheem is kind to his laborers.
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I’m late to this Party, but I would respond with a factual correction. I like cabinhostess’ first response. I don’t think it sounds defensive to say that this information was already provided in the info packet. Because if you don’t say that it sounds like you missed this important thing for all the other guests you have had.
I would keep this correction very very short and concise. Very clear and simplified.
It’s only a clarification for future guests. Nothing more.
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Unfortunately, that’s all very accurate.
We have people who (mostly) work for us part time. And I hope I am. I do things like taking them to the doctor and paying medical expenses quite a lot, among other things. India doesn’t have any real medical welfare or support, and medical care is quite expensive. It’s crazy.
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Actually, only reponding because we all like to respond to Faheem’s posts! I think @Mearns nailed it … remember what I said about the response being part of your marketing? This thanks the guest for his nice review and simply and clearly corrects any misapprehension without criticising the guest.
I must say, what I remember from reading the review 5 minutes ago was the mention of how beautiful the room was and how conveniently situated. , and those would be the impressions I got if I was reading it while looking for somewhere to stay. As for the “nearly locked out” bit, I would just have assumed that this was a one-off as it would be unimaginable that a host hadn’t made provision for his guests to get in the house!
Yes, leave in the bit about the watchman. When I first visited Spain a squillion years ago, you had to “llamar el sereno”, that is clap very loudly so the night-watchman could let you into the gate of the house or the apartment building - I thought it was very exotic!
Oh, and as for guests having to come through the entrance hall/living room whatever, one of the ways for guests to get to their suite in our house is through the kitchen to the stairs (it’s an oddly-built house!) It means I keep the kitchen incredibly tidy, but no-one seems to mind it, so I wouldn’t give it another thought if I were you.
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Good to hear that you are kind to those people. When I was in India several years ago it was–to put it mildly–very bothersome to see so many people in need. Unlike the U.S., especially here in California where the poor get as good if not better care than I do–India as you said doesn’t have those services so people really struggle.
Hi @J_Wang,
Conditions in India are horrifying. It’s good you noticed. Most people don’t notice. Or don’t care. Or both. I’m not sure how “kind” I am, but I do try to take care of things, and make sure bad things don’t happen. Poor people in India are also usually not literate, which of course makes things worse. And there is a lot they don’t understand.
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I admire your frankness about the poverty. And how could anyone NOT see it? Also, I was an immediate target wherever I went because of my skin color and height, which made it difficult if not impossible to blend in with the crowd and enjoy being a tourist. More than once I got panicky and had to run back to my hotel to escape the constant badgering for money or cigarettes (I smoked then.) However, I had an amazing time. Really enjoyed the south.
Hello everyone,
Thanks for all the comments. To all the people who said not to leave a reply - I hear you. But, as I already said, I’m a little bit bothered by the possibility people would think that Bad Things happened on my watch. And it doesn’t seem a bad idea to clarify further about the closed gate thing. Apparently this isn’t common in the US and Europe. Though I know that gated communities exist. Do they have 24/7 security staff who are always awake then, or are high tech security measures like electronic locks used? Or both?
Anyway, I think I will go with a slightly modified version of the response that @cabinhost kindly provided - something like:
“Thank you for the review, Ethan. It is standard practice (in Bombay) for watchmen to lock all front gates between midnight and 5 a.m. As mentioned in the guest guide, guests only need to knock on the gate (if after midnight) so the watchman can let them in. I appreciate your suggestion to future guests to read the guide, as it does contain important information. I am glad it all worked out, with the watchman being able to let you in the gate. I do hope you visit us again.”
@konacoconutz, thanks for your thoughts. What do you think?
@cabinhost, I thought I’d make it explicit that the relevant information was contained in the guide.
Incidentally, Ethan provided some private feedback (not that common). It was:
What Ethan loved about your listing:
The room was amazingly comfortable and really felt like a magical treehouse. The location was great
What Ethan thought you could improve about the experience:
While I appreciated the thoroughness of the guest guide, I think its too much information for most people to really absorb. I think you’d do better by highlighting the important facts so people actually bother to read it, and leaving out some of the miscellaneous details.
Communication feedback:
The night we got locked out it would have been nice to be able to get in touch with you faster, especially since we called both of the 2 numbers listed in the guest guide. If you hadn’t been awake, we would have been out several hundred dollars as we would’ve had to get a hotel room
I’m not clear what he meant by a “magical treehouse” (is that a specific reference to something?), but I assume it’s a compliment.
I’m a bit puzzled by the communication feedback. What does he think I should have done differently? Bearing in mind his initial contact with me was at 1.45 am. I generally put my phone on silent at night, because otherwise I get woken by spam and wrong numbers etc.
Does he think I shouldn’t put it on silent, in case a guest calls me in trouble? This is a half-serious question. Do hosts here not keep their phone on silent when they have guests, in case of an emergency?
Ethan mentioned to me verbally that he did call our landline, which normally would have been enough to get my attention - people rarely call it, and it’s extremely unusual to get a call at 2 am. But I didn’t hear it. I guess I might have had my headphones on.
And there are five different numbers listed in the guide, two for someone else. Who wouldn’t have had his phone on silent, but also doesn’t speak English. So if Ethan had reached him, I’m not sure how it would have panned out.
Anyway, I doubt anyone cares about that little detail.
And hotel rooms in Bombay don’t cost several hundred dollars, last I checked.
Hi @J_Wang,
Where in India did you go? The South is, on average, in better shape than the North. Which isn’t saying much. For example, it includes Kerala, with its high literacy rate. Kerala is a big tourist destination, I think.