Not if the guy was who the guest had already warned the host about. The guest maintains he was the same guy. The host thinks he was a random. Regardless the host knew there was going to be a guy at some point.
Honestly if it was me i would not accept her anyway if i was not on IB. The whole situation is kind of weird to host a first internet date in my house, its basically 2 starngers are meeting in my house and who knows what the outcome will be, its really to think about it is almost the same thing as to going to the bar and pick up someone for hookup⌠or may be i am wrong, never did the internet thing myself.
The main point is the noise. I went through this myself several times and dont want to do do this ever again.Thats why in my welcoming speech i say âwe can hear absolutely everythingâ as a warning
No a hookup is not the same as meeting your internet love. One is a stranger that youâre taking home for sex. The other is presumably someone youâve been talking to for months and have cultivated a relationship with, and plan to continue having a relationship with after meeting. For the record my best friend is married to⌠a woman he met on the internet via a dating site. I too am dating someone I met online.
If itâs not about bringing a stranger home then itâs about loud sex; in which case you speak to the guest but you donât necessarily eject them from your property. Loud sex isnât that type of offence.
Ok, i am going to read it again, the whole thing. Because the impression i got that it was very clear it was a random hook up . But going back to subject of internet dating. Iknow myself many people who married and had kids and live very happily, one of them is my step brother. But as we all know there are many sites on line that are just created for hook ups. Many people misrepresent themselves. And i dont know if i would be that comfortable to host someone with a possibility that that what it could be, just 2 strangers hooking up in my house.
To rent a room in someones house for this is way innapropriate. One thing if it happens between couples but not with a purpose to do just that with a person you never met in your life and for the first time
I donât deny that. But in that case as soon as the guest started talking about that stuff you would lay down the law.
Me: Oh youâre planning on meeting your internet love? I know I donât charge extra for two guests to stay, but since youâve booked for just you, just be aware that if you meet up and get on you canât just bring him back to the house.
The guest TOLD the host about it for a reason. Iâm meeting a guy and we might get on ⌠just making you aware heâs my love and I most likely will be bringing him back assuming our first meeting goes well.
The host could have quashed it as soon as it came up.
Ok, i just reread the whole thing. The whole story with that a woman is questionable. I am pretty sure it was not John in that bedroom . I am pretty sure it was a guy from the bar:)
So⌠the host did approve the guy from internet but⌠not the guy from the bar. WHich again for me it would be almost the same thing⌠and if it was disclosed in the beginning i doubt i would approve her. But the host did⌠and she was understandably upset to see that while the story says that John (approved guy) is stuck somewhere in Ohio, there is a random stranger brought into the house.
Thats the first thing that would prompted me to evict her.
Also, as i understood, the guest knew hosts were already up and moving around before she started her 'making out".
Anyway , judging by her âbeing part of our love storyâ and other expressions i think she is missing few screws and the whole walking half naked out of the bathroom thing would piss me off for sure.
I stayed once in Catania, Sicily in a beautiful B&B. It was really enormous 500 year old mansion, the only problem was is one bathroom for at least 5 rooms. There was a long list of things NOT TO DO in a bathroom everywhere , in our room, in hallway, on every door .
One of them was only use bathroom for washing and toilet
I never kicked anyone out because i heard sex noises. Out of several hundred guests i only kicked out a smoking guy. But sometimes i wish i was annoyed enough to kick out some of my guests
I donât accept that we know for a fact that this guy was a random hookup, but I also feel thereâs no need for me to labour the point further. We can agree to disagree on how weâd have dealt with this.
@Zandra and @Yana After reading your discussion I should probably make clearer why I kicked this lady out:
- Brought home a complete stranger - NOT John
- Had sex in the common shared area
Why am I certain it was not John? When she first contacted me I asked her to provide me information about the online guy. She gave me his name and his DOB, which would make John 39 years old, and the person she brought home looked like he was barely in his early twenties ! ( which is why I referred to him as âkidâ in my disturbed state that morning in the OP )
Certain other parts of her story had discrepancies or did not add up, which I will not go into now.
All I am going to say about point 2, is that there are behaviors that are perfectly appropriate in one setting but not appropriate in another setting. @CatskillsGrrl made a similar point earlier.
I understood why you kicked her out, and i agree with you:slight_smile:
Exactly, that is the problem. I would have left the sex bit out if Iâm honest!
UPDATE:
The guest is threatening to sue me now over my review of her. I am not sure if this update belongs in a separate thread, I am leaving the decision to move the thread to moderators.
My review of X:
"Unfortunately I can not recommend X as a guest. During her stay at our home, she broke our house rules by
bringing a stranger to our home and acted inappropriately in the shared areas of the apartment."
Public response from X to her review:
I absolutely did not bring a stranger into [hostâs] home. He was a registered guest that was
approved ahead of time. [Host and hosts husband] shouldnât share space in their home if they are so sensitive and strict. As well, there were ants everywhere in the home. Including in the guest room where I stayed."
Xâs review of us:
"[Host and hostâs husband] are lovely hosts. I would encourage Amy guests to follow the house rules explicitly to ensure no trouble."
Private Messages from X:
âHost,
Hello. I really do not appreciate you posting a review on my profile stating a malicious lie. You are being rude and stating false information and that it is uncalled for in any situation. The man in your house on Monday was [online guy]. He arrived home on Sunday. I donât know how the military gets men home, but he arrived home to [military base] and was granted Sunday night off. He met me out on Sunday night and came back to the apartment with me. He was a registered guest that you knew about and accepted him to stay at the apartment. I think it is horrific and completely rude for you to state I brought a stranger into the apartment. How can [online guy] be a stranger if I registered him as a guest and you approved him as a guest? I didnât think it would be appropriate to stop and introduce him to you and [your husband] on Monday morning.
As far as inappropriate actions in the common areas, everything I did was behind a closed door. If you didnât want to hear it then you and [your husband] should have gone into your bedroom and just ignored the noise. I dislike that you lie again and say I was half naked. I was covered with a towel as was [online guy]. You couldnât see anything. I donât appreciate your lies and dishonesty.
I left your apartment and just wanted to go on my way. Now you have posted a horrific lie about me on Airbnb website. How dare you! That is is immature and awful.
I offered you an apology for my actions that you thought were inappropriate. You even accepted the apology. I informed you prior to coming to your apartment that you were going to be a part of the love story between myself and [online guy]. Having sex is a instinctual human activity and many people do it. You and [your husband] should expect people to have sex in your apartment. I am on vacation, meeting the love of my life. Yes, I am going to have sex with him. It was all behind closed doors and you didnât see anything. You may have heard it, but I donât care!!! If you donât want people and all their human ways and activities to share space with you, then get out of Airbnb.
You canât be a hypocrite and allow a registered guest only to then declare him a stranger on the Airbnb website. That is a flat out lie! It isnât fair to me that you are slandering my name.
Do not ever contact me again or leave another lie posted on my profile. You have made what should have been a great experience meeting the love of my life rather awful! You are being flat out rude and an unpleasant person. I will NEVER see or talk you again in this life. Leave me alone and stop being rude and lying about me. I wonât stand for it! You have really gone too far here.
You should also be aware that there are ants in your house. They were all over the room I stayed in and in the bathroom.
I want you to contact Airbnb and have your review you left on my profile removed. It is defaming, fraudulent, slanderous and a lie. I want the review removed and I donât care what you have to do to remove it. You shouldnât have overstepped here [host]. I thought we were fine after our discussion. I tried to be an adult and talk with you and correct you on your misunderstandings. I attempted to use clear communication and diplomacy with you. You in turn have now posted a lie about me on a public forum on Airbnb. That is not ok with me and you shouldnât have done it. You went too far! Have the comment removed immediately. One thing I am absolutely sure of is that Airbnb has a stated policy for terms and conditions of use. One ofAirbnbâs written policies is that you will not post false information on the website or in a comment and that is exactly what you have done. Contact Airbnb and have the comment removed.
Then, just leave me alone. I think you should seriously consider getting out of Airbnb. Donât assume all of your rules are implied. If you have so many rules that you want your guests to follow, then write them down. For now, a lot of your rules arenât written down. Donât assume that any of your rule(s) are just implied. You shouldnât assume anything!
Thanks for having the start of my love story start with such a disappointing experience at your apartment. Geezzz, I was just going to move onâŚuntil you lied about me. Not ok!! Never contact me again and leave me alone! Go write a rule book and get over yourself.â
My private response to X:
"I did not and do not believe the person you brought home was [online guy]. Based on the date of birth you
gave me for [online guy], would make him 39 years old. The person you brought home looked about 20 years
younger.
I will not address anything else in your message.
Your review will stay as is."
Private message from X:
[Host], I am 37 years old and look like I am in my early 20âs. You can never judge a book by its cover. I have told you who the man was and I donât care who you think he was. He was a registered guest at your apartment. I will now pursue a lawsuit against you for slander. My lawyer will be contacting you. Never contact me again! It will now be handled entirely by my attorney. Get ready to get annihilated for your malicious lie. If it really wasnât [online guy] who I brought to the apartment do you think I would pursue a lawsuit? Uuuummm, no. See you in court."
No response from me.
Private message from X:
"Since you have been such a jerk about all of this, I am coming after you for ALL you have. I will bankrupt you. If you contact me again I will add harassment and badgering to the lawsuit. Leave me alone!!! I am going to sue you and drag the lawsuit out until you have nothing left. You are a terrible person with no soul or decency. I hate you and want nothing to do with you ever again. I wonât show up in court. My attorneys will. Good luck, you are going to lose for discrimination, slander, defaming and lying. Go to hell!!! "
No response from me.
I have had no interaction/communication with X outside of Airbnb by the way.
I honestly do not believe the person I saw in my home was the online guy:
- The person I saw looked half the online guyâs age.
- She did not inform us through Airbnb messaging or otherwise that the online guy was at home; she did not introduce him as online guy Monday morning which she could have easily done WHICH SHE CLAIMS WOULD HAVE BEEN âINAPPROPRIATEâ ??? Seriously?? Introducing him would have been inappropriate while everything else she did was perfectly appropriateâŚ;
Moreover, she did not offer any proof of his identity, especially after I sent her the message on Air, to dispel our concerns. She did not respond to Airâs repeated calls and messages. Only AFTER HE HAD LEFT she came to me and claimed it was the online guy.
Some of you might be wandering why I have kept the personal details private right from the beginning of this post. Initially the goal was to protect the guestâs identity. In light of above developments, I just want to avoid potential complications by revealing my identity ( and hers ).
I do not believe she has grounds to sue, as nothing I posted in her review was a lie. But I do hope Airbnb will step in with legal counsel if she indeed sues me. The representative told me that he would escalate this to their legal department and that I would be protected. But I know from reading this forum that message from Airbnb representatives may not always be uniform. I am planning to follow up with them tomorrow ( today is a holiday here ).
Have you ever had a guest threaten you because of an unflattering review? If so what was your experience?
I have been soooooo disturbed by the encounter with this woman. I honestly feel violated, and harassed and disturbed by her behavior, and her messages.
I try to provide safe and comfortable, environment for my guests, and give them plenty of privacy. I love the fact that I get to meet interesting people and truly care that guests absolutely enjoy their stay. I have had nothing but 5 star reviews (except for her 3 star one of course ), and even though not all of them were your dream guests, they all behaved in a way that showed they know they are in someoneâs home. NOT this one. By her own admission she does not care.
I am sorry if I sound like I am venting, I am just very disappointed âŚmostly with myself for making the mistake of hosting this womanâŚ
Ugh oh no. This is hellacious. What a witch.
I donât think she has a case, but donât panic until you actually are served with a summons and complaint. Lawsuits like that are really expensive. No lawyer would take a case like that on contingency without the potential for a big payoff. Say a big publication like the UK daily mail for instance, when they falsely reported Melania had worked as an escort.
Btw, slander is the spoken word, libel is the written. So she doesnât even know he difference. And you have to prove malicious intent.
Donât let her scare you. A girl who canât even afford to book a private home or apartment to have her rendezvous in canât afford a $600/hr attorney. The going rate these days â maybe more in NY.
Sheâs bluffing.
Sheâs certainly bluffing but I also expect your review of her to disappear pretty shortly. You canât be sure it was a stranger. As such she has a reasonable argument to have your review removed.
And I take her point about introductions. I personally wouldnât stop to have a chat at 5am with a towel wrapped round me.
Still a total over reaction on her part⌠the threats are juvenile and unnecessary.
Like always, call AirBnB and report her.
You can ask them to block all further communications from her.
I had a guest like this once, he complained that I made a negative remark about how clean he left the place, a simple call to AirBnB and no more annoying messages.
I appreciate the support @konacoconutz. Yes, I also believe she is bluffing. I think she wants to bully me into changing or removing her review.
@Zandra Do you mean that you think Airbnb will remove it? That has not happened yetâŚ
Yes Iâd expect so. Youâve said she brought home a stranger but you donât have proof she did. She has probably already called to complain.
Based on her private messages, I think she has indeed called and tried (unsuccessfully so far) to have the review removed.
I do not have definite proof that she brought home a stranger. She does not have proof that she brought home the approved guest. We will have to wait and see what Air decides to do with the review.
Can she just change her profile name and nobody will know it is her anyway? She can then use her future loverâs account forever on and happily ever after.
I would like to know how she found out to use the term âregistered guest.â I have only heard this term amongst Airbnb hosts and have never seen this myself listed anywhere. Is this a term that a guest sees when they can add names, or is she reading online forums?
She may have picked up the term from one of my house rules saying âOnly registered guest(s) are allowed on the premisesâ. I in turn picked up the term here
Sheâs not going to sue you, sheâs just being a total dick. And saying if you didnât want to hear anything you should have shut yourself in your bedroomâŚWHAT??! Who does she think she is in YOUR home?? Unbelievable.