First, I’m sure this isnt a new topic but I couldnt find one probably using wrong key words. Second, was really nervous asking this question and first wrote WAY too much info and backstory of why I’m asking so I deleted it. Here goes: can someone please give me advice on how to write house rules without it making me feel like I’m a condescending asshole coming off as though I’m speaking to 5 yr olds? Because I assumed that hosts didnt have to spell out rediculous obvious things that a guest should not do ANYWHERE, but I am still, after 3 years, astounded that some people just don’t get it. Do I really have to say “please don’t leave empty pop cans in the bed and don’t leave food wrappers on the floor?” Don’t worry, I didn’t. And I cannot bring myself to point some of these things out in the rules, just for the ignorant’s sake, without cringing and imagining how insulted the normal considerate guest would be reading something so stupid. I managed to put just one “duh” thing in the rules saying “forgive me for stating the obvious (because we learned the hard way), but please do not get into bed if you are covered in grease, dirt, mud, oil etc”.
Still felt like an ass. Any thoughts or advice?
There’s one thing I’ve always wanted to post in place of any rules that I believe says it all: " WE ARE NOT A MOTEL 6."
Or just “PRETEND YOU’RE AT YOUR GRANDMA’S HOUSE”. Again, don’t worry, I haven’t (only in my dreams!).
I think rather than worry about how to write (largely unenforceable) “house rules”, your time may be better spent researching why your offering habitually attracts this type of guest and what you can do to attract a better quality of guest.
Appreciate the response. For 3 years it really hasn’t been an issue until this last season. So yes, I automatically assume that I must be missing something on my part.
I list my basic common house rules first (no smoking, no parties, etc) and the I put a divider and put another list below saying that this list is common sense but through the years, people have broken these rules. Thinks like no spray tanning or hair dyeing, no commercial photos, etc.
I should also note when when someone books I require them to acknowledge that they have read and agreed to my house rules.
@BananaNC I think you could do it with a sense of humor and not offend normal people who possess common sense.
As @Lynick4442 outlines, you could put the “normal” house rules first, and then something like: "Believe it or not, this is a list of things that never would have occurred to me I had to make rules about when dealing with grown adults, so while most guests will probably just find this list funny, and think I made it up, these are things guests have actually done that are not allowed:
XX
XX
XX"
Also, I agree that it sounds like you need to vet your guests better. If you are using Instant Book, maybe it’s time to switch to Request to Book.
When phoning various institutions or service providers in the UK there’s often a pre-recorded message that intercepts the call before it’s answered that cautions the caller, for what seems like an age, that “abusive language won’t be tolerated” etc. etc.
Now a couple of things strike me about this: firstly, although I’ve no intention of being abusive to anyone, that message for some reason, does actually raise my bile! and secondly, if one is the sort of individual who is habitually abusive to others then the caution will actually do nothing to temper that inclination.
And that is my point, if you’re the sort of moron that leaves pop cans in the bed or used condoms on the floor or the ac on with the windows open or abuses telephone receptionists then I would venture that no amount of rule-writing covering these eventualities will have the slightest effect and they probably wouldn’t read them anyway.
I think I would echo Islacat and Muddy’s advice and do whatever’s needed to attract nicer, more normal, considerate people and not bother preaching to the converted.
I can seriously understand why people / customers get so irate!
Chat bots really do my head in.
I have a vision disability , and trying to get a credit card verified took me around and around in circles and wasted hours of my time.
I lost it when I eventually got on to a human, because they didn’t get it.
After a formal complaint, they agreed their treatment of me was inappropriate and I received $100 credit payment.
It is the lack of appropriate service that is becoming the issue
This 
. The key phrase is “largely unenforceable”. I limit my list of “house rules” to the most important. I figure anybody who leaves cans and debris around isn’t going to heed a rule that says “no pop cans in the bedroom” anyway, so why even list it.
Another unenforceable rule, for pet friendly listings, is “no dogs on the furniture”. Guests whose dogs are accustomed to making themselves comfortable on the sofa or the bed are going to do that in your rental as well, and it’s highly likely that the guests will let them. It isn’t the dog’s fault, and the guests aren’t going to keep a constant eye on the dog every minute to make sure it doesn’t jump up on the sofa.
And you can’t retrain a dog to stop doing something it’s always been allowed to do in 5 minutes.
Hosts can certainly ask guests to cover furniture with provided dog blankets, and while some of them will, I suspect some of them will ignore that.
“Oh, he’s just little.”
“Oh, he doesn’t shed.”
“Oh, he isn’t dirty.”
Yes, that’s very true!
Also, you can scare away decent guests with petty or absurd “house rules”, naïvely designed in an attempt to deter guests from being themselves.
What do “normal” guests think after reading rules like “do not throw food at the TV”. “Does this happen a lot? what kind of people stay at this place? Is it safe?”.
Another more common rule is “no smoking in the house”. This is really my only written and emphasized “house rule”.
Note the “in the house” bit. Some hosts say “no smoking anywhere on the property” and then are disappointed when they find ciggy butts all over the lawn, and/or smell smoke in the house anyway.
Look, smokers are going to smoke whether you like it or not. So, make it easy for them to do what you need: not stinking up the house with something that will offend the next guest, nor flip their ciggy butts all over the property. Leave ashtrays everywhere outside the house, a couple of chairs and a coffee table. Give them a comfortable place to smoke - outdoors. And they will, because it’s easy and comfortable.
“Guest proofing” is generally much more effective than telling them how to (or not to) behave.
Sometimes I think the “no smoking anywhere on the property” is a moral judgement as much as anything. If you do get a smoker who respects that, and goes out on the street to smoke, the smell that clings to their hair and clothing isn’t going to be any less than if they sat at a comfortable smoking area you set up outside.
Maybe they think that rule will discourage smokers from booking at all, and it might to some degree, but smokers are so used to not be allowed to smoke almost anywhere these days, that they are quite used to having to walk some distance away to have a cigarette.
I don’t have any no smoking rules, but there is a comfortable chair, table and ashtray out on the balcony by the guest room, and while I haven’t had a lot of guests who smoke, I’ve never had any guests smoke in their room.
Most smokers I know, including me, don’t even smoke inside our own homes, even when there is no one else around.
Good advice. Offering an area outside to smoke and a can (with sand) to place the butts is what I do. Of course a “no smoking in the house” notice in house rules is pretty common and non offensive.
Our rules read “No smoking or vaping anywhere on the property. We do not host smokers”. People who smoke carry with them the stench of cigarettes, and winds up on our sheets and in our air.
We refuse to have guests who think our house rules are conditional.
agree with it
It is the best time to think about why this happens repeatedly
Write a review describing what happened, so at least future hosts will be warned.
Sometimes a guest does more than enough to keep the place clean and tidy
In my Airbnb, I couldn’t get over how a guest had washed all the bed linens, towels and blankets. A family member confessed why she did this.
It turned out she had spilled oil over it all. A lot of oil!!!
I didn’t ask what she was doing!!!