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I agree Xena and I don’t ask for defending the choice of having cameras.
I understand the cultural differences. I expect those cameras in the US as I expect CCTV in streets of UK.
My point is that when you have those cameras there’s the possibility of them being misused by hosts.
You can’t really know if there’s a host snooping on the guy eating breakfast and that’s my point.
The only reason this subject is being discussed is because the host thought there was a problem (there really wasn’t) and chose to use technology to confirm this suspicion.
I can’t take offensive to being generalized as an American. We have a lot to be embarrassed about and accountable for as global neighbors.
I’ve read that our tourism and as well as international enrollment in American colleges is down due to fear of mass shootings, police violence, and hate crimes against foreign guests. Granted, being a victim is statistically unlikely. I’d rather change our country so these tragedies don’t happen rather than ask others to take a more charitable view of Americans.
Single parenthood is difficult to say the least. It’s hard to understand unless you have been there. And you can and do stretch the rules. Yes, it’s a reunion, not a grand jury indictment. But it ended well and mom caught a break thanks to you. You kept an eye on him, and that speaks volumes of your hosting and kindness. But personally I would let it go.
She was an impeccable guest. It is not your business to comment on this.
In other parts of the world parenting styles are different. I for example stayed at home by myself after school from 1pm-5pm when parents came home from work. I didn’t burn the house down and I knew from a certain age how to heat up my food on the stove because we didn’t have a microwave either.
I was put on a train to go 300 miles to camp when I was nine. By myself. A horse was bought for me there. I took care of it and rode it everywhere. By myself. In California.
I can understand that. Lots of people have commented to say the contrary but I do understand how annoying it is.
Personally, I wasn’t judging on guests that I’ve hosted. I was going by US TV shows that show a bizarre (to me) attitude to young people. Also, I’ve seen so many posts on here, and other places, from American hosts who will not entertain hosting guests under 21 years of age. In Europe you’re considered an adult at 18 years and can have an airbnb account. I’ve hosted that age group many times and they’re no worse than any other.
I used to work for child protective services so my answer may be different from most on here because of that. I also used to be a single parent so I do empathize with her situation.
If the host was a mandated reporter, they would be legally required to report the woman for possible child neglect. That mother was putting herself and the child at risk of being reported to Child Protective Services for child neglect. It was certainly inappropriate for her to leave the child alone that long, at that time of night, in a strange location.
If nothing else, I would write to her, in the private comments area of the review, and warn her about the danger of doing what she did, i.e., not just the danger that something could have happened, but the legal jeopardy she put herself in.
Note: This is the law in the USA. I wouldn’t have a clue what it is anywhere else.
No, I am not basing this on ‘experience with Americans travelling abroad’ and my main exposure has not been ‘kids who have been traveling outside of their home country’.
Ok, we are talking two different issues here. First, is there a law that forbids parents to leave kids alone under certain age? I am an emigrant, I don’t know and my kid is in college. When he was in school, he, like me, would come home and do his homework and wait for us to have dinner.
And now there’s the question of teens being somewhat different in US vs. Europe. They are, in my opinion, I was one of them, and let me tell you why: in Europe high school kids can have a beer at 15 or 16. Or cider. When I was a kid my mom would allow me a sip from her drink, at family gatherings, Easter or New Year, so I wasn’t curious growing up. Kids here grow up being told to abstain and they are curious. I understand this is because the driving age is 16, which I think it is too young. Also regarding abstinence: in Western Europe public schools do a great job teaching kids sex ed, so that if you check their teenage pregnancies are way lower than in US, where the accent is put on abstinence. Please take this as a parenthesis, I don’t want to deviate the discussion.
Interesting information @adrienne12. I’m not sure, though, what you mean by the two different issues? Also, I don’t think it’s problematic to deviate from the discussion. One of the things I enjoy most, and learn from, is the different approaches on this forum from various countries. Just don’t talk about duvets and comforters
the subject of this topic was related to parenting styles in the US (aka leaving older kids alone).
And then there was the question of how teens in USA are different from those in Europe or other parts of the world.
And if you want to introduce the 3rd (but related to the first): I read about how the inuit people in canada are the best parents in the world and they struggle to keep their parenting styles alive so they won;t succumb to the westernized styles.
Absolutely not. I have an eight-year-old, and when he is 11 or 12, I would expect to be able to have a conversation with him about whether he is comfortable being left alone. That conversation (along with knowing whether he is responsible) is what would inform my decision about whether to leave him. Since this kid did not seem to be in distress and did no damage, I have no problem with the mom leaving him.
Sorry @rmiriamn you have absolutely no idea whether the child was distressed or not being left alone in a strange space late at night.
However responsible the child, they could burn themselves pouring boiling water from a kettle or making something to eat or have any number of accidents in an unfamiliar space.
Also you can’t expect a 12 year to make a decision about whether they are okay to be left alone. They would probably say they were comfortable just to please you, if you are their parent.
At 11, this one varies widely by child. I have four children and a grandchild old enough to be considered in this conversation. My two oldest (both boys) I think 12 would have been the cutoff age. I would not have left either them at age 11. My daughter, neither my wife nor I would have any qualms about leaving her alone at age 11. When she were 11 they were no cell phones . Yet we would still have no trouble leaving her alone at age 11. My youngest, I’m not sure we would him alone at your place at 17. Seriously though, I would not leave have left him alone until he was in his teens. My daughter’s child, my eldest granddaughter, I would have no problem leaving her alone At 10 years old. The criteria would have to be narrow. We would have to be less than 5 minutes away. Cell phones would be a must. But we are talking about a 10 year old latchkey child who gets home, does her homework, and makes dinner for her single mom who works two jobs. Making dinner in all cases means reheating leftovers. But still, when Mom comes home the house has been cleaned and dinner is ready. And we’re talking about a 10 year old. I agree with anyone who sees this and says 10 is on the wrong side of the line dude. You’d have to meet my grandkids. However, You mentioned 11. 11 is a very very subjective age. That’s my two cents worth
No, I would not say anything. My parents weren’t always home with me at the age of 11. You knew to call 911 if you started a fire.
So many kids come home with no parent there to stay with them after school. I’m thinking back to summers growing up and I remember going to my friends’ houses and both their parents worked. And all of us made ourselves something to eat, and just hung out or went outside to play sports. Eleven year olds should be able to be left alone unless they are too immature to be responsible.
First of all I don’t think it’s your place to try to lecture her BUT it would be good to alert future hosts who might want to avoid the risk/responsibility!
I would update your house rules to say that all children under 16 must be supervised at all times.
I’m surprised by all the posts comparing children being left AT THEIR HOME alone by a working Mom in the afternoon, with this situation.
This is completely different, the child is in strange surroundings, does not know the area or the neighbors, might not know how things work or where things are, how to get out of the property if need be and how to get back in, what to do if someone rang the doorbell? What if the kid burned himself or fell? It was until late at night!
I’m thinking about how to warn other hosts about her in the review of her in a neutral way and I can’t come up with anything, unless you had it written in your house rules, you could say X was a pleasant guest bla bla however she left her child unattended in the property which was against our rules.
I just loved reading this. We hear so much negativity about “kids these days.” As a former high school teacher who retired 4 years ago, I know that “the kids are alright,” as the majority always were and always will be.
I do agree with this to a certain extent. My reply was from the assumption of if the kid already had dinner by 9 p.m. No cooking on a glass stovetop that he doesn’t have at home, etc. No things like that. Just that the kid likely had dinner. Is likely going to be on his phone, tablet, or watching tv, or texting the rest of the night. Basically glued to the electronics and off to bed. Here is some ice cream in the freezer for later type of thing.
Of course we never know if the kid had to cook a meal. But I would think not or he had accessibility to sandwich items, etc.
We have in our listing description. No dogs unaccompanied by an adult longer than four hours. No unaccompanied minors at any time.
It does not matter what the law is, it does not matter what their custom is, what matters is what you, the owner of the property, want. You set the rules.
