Wondering how others hosts would handle - discrimination issue

[KKC]

@cassid

Exposing children to a multi cultural society from a young age, breaks down the barriers and fears people have.

There is considerable research that shows that brains are wired differently and some people are just more fear based. That doesn’t mean they can’t learn but those irrational prejudices are just harder for some people to outlearn than others. That’s not an excuse for their behavior of course, just one part of a complicated explanation.

Just as this nation overcame its prejudice against Germans, Irish, Italians, Poles… we will eventually overcome our current troubles. Europe has a different history and a different set of challenges but over time, progress always comes. Always.

[ClaireHL]

“The sons of the fathers!” Chloe - I would hate to be painted with the same brush as my father who was an equal opportunities bigot: no English, Protestants, Jews, Indians or Blacks were to be brought home as potential husbands, to which we could only reply: “What about a Martian, Dad? Would a Martian be OK?” That three of his daughters married, respectively, an Englishman, a Protestant, and an English Jew (me) largely broke down his bigotry - just a shame he didn’t live long enough for the hat-trick: to see his granddaughter shack up with a very nice English/Carribean man. He was a bigot but he bred a family (9 of us) who are rabidly intolerant of racism, and many of us have taken part in anti-racist activism. So don’t punish her for her father’s ignorance - instead give them the review they deserve as guests, including that they were loud if you must (although your husband was partly to blame for that in engaging the guest in conversation and then failing to tamp down the volume - and the racist comments). But do send the daughter a private message about the experience and that this is something she needs to work out with her father going forward.

Also, you took them on as 3rd party guest so colluded with the daughter in this “extra-curricular” from Airbnb stay. BTW, I missed that memo too and recently had a family stay who were booked by their daughter who is a local acquaintance of mine. Luckily I had no complaints. So am grateful to your post for this education on Airbnb policy in this regard.

[Chloe]

I agree with you @ClaireHL, and as stated in a previous post, after careful consideration, I left a public review that stated facts, just not all facts, because I am of the opinion that the daughter shouldn’t necessarily be called out for her parent’s behavior.

I left her private feedback letting her know her parents, and hence she, if she continues to book for them, may find themselves unwelcome in other hosts homes, given his racist remarks. I also explained that her dad put me in a difficult situation, given my downstairs guests. I told her that we gladly welcome people of all races, religions, nationalities, colors, ages, sexual orientations and so forth into our home and prefer guests that feel the same.

As well, I’m aware of the 3rd Party Booking policy, but given Airbnb’s rather lax attitude about it, I will most likely review on an individual basis and possibly accept them.

[Joan]

I am so sorry to learn of this for you; how difficult it must have been. People with a dementia revert to their early years and memories in most cases, experiencing, and often living out, what was deemed acceptable at that period in their lives. It can be heartbreaking on many fronts. I’ve known Jewish survivors of the Holocaust believe that their carers are concentration camp guards, whilst other patients have hurled racist abuse at their carers, who are black. In their day this was acceptable but now confused, they are not responsible for how they are reacting, often from fear. Then there’s the dilemma of how to properly support staff on the receiving end, particularly with a black manager demanding that the patient be penalised, that they are cognisant of what they are saying.

Memory Lane again. Said manager gently eased into an early retirement…

[Joan]

@cassid

Exposing children to a multi cultural society from a young age, breaks down the barriers and fears people have. In Europe, there is growing hatred groups against immigrants, muslims and non nationals. It worries me to see such hatred when you dont even know the person.

I have just left an almost full pint in the village pub next door in disgust. Not the first time I admit; my views are know, I challenge racism in all forms when it raises it’s ugly head. But I have just been attacked full on by someone we know (and dislike) for not agreeing with her rant on Asian shops In Southall (London) opening on Sundays 30 years ago, ffs! The only comment I made was that at least she had somewhere to go on a Sunday then. Didn’t go down very well at all…

Mr Joan has just brought my pint home x

[KKC]

@Joan

an almost full pint in the village pub next door in disgust.

I was about to draw the line at leaving the pint…

@Joan

Mr Joan has just brought my pint home

but I see all is well.

[jimmie31]

Very nicely put. Thank you.

[beneluigi]

Dear Chloe,
First mistake, never accept a third party reservation, especially when they’re staying inside your home. You have no idea what you’re going to get. Just say it’s against your policy due to liability. Second, you can send a message to the daughter explaining what happened without leaving it in a review. Say something like “Your parents are entitled to their own opinions, but I’m not comfortable hosting them again.” Case closed.

[yecatsr]

@Annet3176

Where are you? Do you live in the south or are you making a judgement based upon sadly overstated stories in the press?

I live in the Rocky Mountain region, but have travelled to the south many many times, many different states. I’m not getting my info from the press, but personal experience.

@Annet3176

Please don’t join them by looking down on me.

I was not pointing at any individuals! Plenty of wonderful people in the south I’ve experienced as well! Love the Southern Hospitality vibe there.