When house sharing has too much sharing

I was doing some price checking on my summer rates vs. other places around town. Checking out the local competition, their amenities, décor, reviews, etc. when I came across a review that stopped me in my tracks.

The guest said

“Nice little spot however walls were thin (could hear the hosts/other guests? having sex/watching porn)”

The host fell over herself apologizing in the reply. :flushed:

I don’t know…isn’t that just something you expect when you’re sharing walls with people? I don’t comment when I hear guests getting down (or on the sheets they leave behind).
And then I considered the mention of porn and it made me wonder how loud/theatrical the activity was? Maybe the hosts thought they were home alone?

Anyway, I thought it was in poor taste to mention in the public review. My SO’s response sums up my own feelings “Humans live…To assume a place shared with others is to be sterile in terms of sound and interactions kind of makes me ill. Who do we expect each other to be?”

I think I’d be tempted to reply “Jealous? :kissing_heart:


I have mixed feelings about this. If someone is going to host they are going to have to make concessions in their lives and not having loud sex where others can hear is one of them. We want reviews that are specific but I suppose the actual source/description of the noise isn’t necessary.

I was looking at a hostel in Portland ME for a possible stay and they have a list of guidelines about staying in such a place. Like Airbnb hosts they have people who look only at the price without regard to the setup of the lodging. One rule says: "7) Having sex in a shared dorm is not acceptable. Other guests don’t want to be present for it. "So they actually have to tell people this. OTOH, I don’t see that much difference between under a sheet and on the other side of a wall if others can still hear it.

One of the things I’ve done on the few occasions where I think I might be hearing sex noise is that I make some noise myself in the next room. A dog bark or a phone ringing…I’ve found that it gets quieter after that.

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Yeah noise is a problem in my home too. I have 3 Airbnb private rooms on 3 floors. I installed white noise generators on each floor to help. I also put a vinyl bulb seal around the door frames to prevent sound from traveling. There’s not a whole lot I can do though. Occasionally its an issue.

I have mixed feelings, too! I suppose it’s one of those tightropes hosts walk: how do you lead a normal life while also providing a nice experience for guests?

There’s a difference between “loud sex” and “sex others can hear”. Most of us would agree that loud sex isn’t okay in a shared house, in the same way we wouldn’t blast explicit music.

To say that someone should never hear a normal human function is too far beyond the line, IMO. I’m in a 100+ year old house and at night you can hear someone sneeze or get out of bed. I can tell when guests are getting it on, so it’s likely they know when I am. At that point I’m thinking “this is just what people do. I heard you in the bathroom, so I know you poop. Now you know I have sex just like most other adults.” Eh. What are you going to do? :woman_shrugging:

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