What to do with a real tiger

[Louise]

It would take a very strong person to skin a tiger alive!

[searchedtobelost]

I personally wouldn’t stay at a place that has animal trophies (heads mounted on the wall, skins, etc). But I’m also vegetarian and have a huge soft spot for animals. Some people think it’s cool. I think it’s antiquated.

[SandyToes]

Vera, I don’t think 40% is anywhere close to reaching a meeting of the minds with your husband. It is true what the others have said ~ museums rotate, store, sell and even discard items. I don’t see where a splayed out skin of a tiger would be a big ticket item unless it was a taxidermy school or similar but even then…

Does your husband have an office or a ‘man cave’ (his own room where he enjoys all things ‘his’…because that would be the ideal solution. He could have it and you wouldn’t have to look at it every day. The point is, you have done your ‘duty’ and ‘allowed’ the skin to be a part of your home décor for a decade and your feelings of not wanting it front-‘n’-center anymore should be considered.

It’s only fair.

[Chris]

@Vera

donate to a museum and have his father’s name as the donator

I would not donate it, but lend it to the museum.
Like they do with art, your husband remains the owner, but the museum can put it on display.

This ensures they will not sell it or give it away. And also keeps the in laws happy.

[Vera]

Sorry for the late reply, it has been a long weekend here.

[Vera]

@Xena

. I’m a vegan, but wouldn’t be bothered by the tiger skin if it was made clear to me that it was an antique from the olden days,

Wow, I am surprised, thank you for the input. I imagined a different view, I am glad I asked here.
My daughter who eats meat says she hates the skin and I should get rid of it. When we had her friends come over she always asked me to take it down or cover it.

The good news is that my husband agreed to donate to the museum!! yay!!!

[Vera]

@anon67190644

Natural history or science museums would display an animal. Other museums, not so much.

It is a naturak/animal anatomy museum we are looking at. They will display it they told me but they still rotate the collection 2 to 3 times a year.

[Vera]

@KKC

I don’t care to see remains of dead animals as decorations of any kind. I’ve been airbnb shopping the last two days and have looked at dozens of listings. I saw one with a cow hide rug and realized that was a turn off. I clicked away and did not read the whole listing.

Personally I also avoid the airbnbs with haunting trophies. I am not an activist and I like my meat, but I dont know, something feels off hahaha

[Vera]

@konacoconutz

Eeeek. I think it would send the wrong message. Even if you explained it to the moon and back a certain percentage of your guests will absolutely hate it and even mention it in their review. Are you in Taiwan? If most of your guests are non Asian then definitely get rid of it

You are right, it would give more hassle to explain it so much and they most likely would still mention it in the review, who knows if as a positive or negative point. I am in Taiwan and I have two rooms, one if the rooms are mostly Chinese , one is mostly Westerners. My husband has finally agreed to donate it, I am celebrating!!! Now we have to get the papers from my MIL for the piece. Yes, we got the gift but the certificate papers stayed with her, I guess that’s the Chinese way to control what the gift receiver does with the gift.
But I am glad it will stay in a honorable place.

[Vera]

@superhostnyc

For every guest that might be offended, there will be another guest that will appreciate the history and the beauty of it. I would hang it on the wall.

You are right, it is my house my décor. But my little (not so little one) doesn’t like t and want it gone. I was showing the opinions on this thread to my husband and talked to him a lot. I didn’t have time to reply but I showed him all the valuable opinions I got here. We both pressured him and he agreed to donate it. I am so happy!

[Vera]

@dcmooney

I wonder if you husband would be open to the idea of selling it and using a portion for a charity or organization your father-in-law would have supported, a portion to provide your mother-in-law with something she needs, and a portion to come to DC and stay in an awesome airbn

Unfortunately my husband said if we sell it we will hurt family relationships with my IL’s. But I would love to stay in your Airbnb, it is lovely.

[Vera]

@cabinhost

what happens in Chinese culture if you don’t accept a gift because you don’t have room to store it? Does family disown you? If someone doesn’t have room for “stuff” - isn’t it a bit rude and selfish of the gift giver to be upset if it will only clutter your home? Aren’t Chinese into Feng Shui and everything in the home being harmonious…lol

We must accept the gift, if we don’t (under a big argument during the gift giving) they will get resented and will behind the back talk to the other family members to not invite to some family get together for a while and in extreme cases they will require one Chinese ceremony that involves the offender to do a symbolic ‘ask for forgiveness’ act holding a glass of water and bowing down to their feet while they sit on the house ‘respect chair’ (yes, there is a chair designated only for such circumstances like the forgiveness begging, Chinese new year’s salutations, festivals salutations etc where we need to be to any older family member). So , it is better to just get the gift , accept it and avoid all this confrontation.

Regarding the fong shui it is more theory than reality in Taiwan and China. They say such and such is not good for health, or marriage or something else, but it is not ultimate. I guess they weigh out the feng shui with the other traditions. Haha

[anon67190644]

@Vera

Personally I also avoid the airbnbs with haunting trophies.

This may be one of the best typos I have ever seen. Yes. That tiger was haunted, and then hunted!

I am so glad that you have found a solution that makes your young one, your in-laws, your husband, and of course, YOU, happy. Family heirlooms can be a mixed blessing. Do you want some lovely brandy sniffers and aperitif glasses? I have enough to throw a party, only I know no one who drinks that stuff!

[Vera]

@Louise

It would take a very strong person to skin a tiger alive!

HahahaHahaha. Thanks for the laugh. What I meant is like hitting then in the head of something and it wakes up without skin and only then they kill it, i’ve seeing some horrific stories online

[Vera]

@SandyToes

Vera, I don’t think 40% is anywhere close to reaching a meeting of the minds with your husband.

It will be a animal anatomy musuem we have convinced him hahaha and jumping of happiness to get it donated. I don’t know if he agreeded just to smooth out the weekend of if it s true. We will see tomorrow Monday when I ask him if he got the papers from his mother.

[Vera]

@Chris

I would not donate it, but lend it to the museum.Like they do with art, your husband remains the owner, but the museum can put it on display.

This ensures they will not sell it or give it away. And also keeps the in laws happy

I am not sure the museum will agree to it but I definitely will ask , however I don’t want it back home, maybe give the ownership to my MIL . Thanks for info.

[cabinhost]

@Vera

will get resented and will behind the back talk to the other family members to not invite to some family get together for a while and in extreme cases they will require one Chinese ceremony that involves the offender to do a symbolic ‘ask for forgiveness’ act holding a glass of water and bowing down to their feet while they sit on the house ‘respect chair’

Oh dear. I don’t think I would want a gift from any family member who would seek revenge on my family because I don’t want the item in my home… Wow - that just sounds terrible. So glad to hear you and your husband came to an agreement!

[Martha]

Remind your husband that Museums take good care of their antiquities. They will be climate controlled, and the skin will be maintained with the right level of humidity etc. Their conservators know how to clean and care for it. It will be insured and guarded. His father as the donor will be honoured. Explain to the family that this is the best way to look after this prized item in perpetuity.

[Xena]

@Vera

Wow, I am surprised, thank you for the input. I imagined a different view, I am glad I asked here. My daughter who eats meat says she hates the skin and I should get rid of it. When we had her friends come over she always asked me to take it down or cover it.

The good news is that my husband agreed to donate to the museum!! yay!!!

That is great! Good job convincing him!

My views may not represent most vegans. I’ve been vegan since I was a teen, so it just feels like a vegan is easy and normal, and I enjoy the health benefits. I do hate needless animal suffering, but don’t really mind if people raise their own farm animals or hunt for food because not everyone in the world has to be like me. I also recognize that sport hunting was once more acceptable and a tiger skin is a relic from the olden days. I know poaching of exotic animals is still a problem, and that would upset me as a guest if a host displayed a poached animal hide or a recent trophy from a big game hunt, but I don’t think relics from the olden days should necessarily be thrown out.

[Vera]

@cabinhost

Oh dear. I don’t think I would want a gift from any family member who would seek revenge on my family because I don’t want the item in my home… Wow - that just sounds terrible. So glad to hear you and your husband came to an agreement

Welcome to Asian culture. I think for marriages between same culture here it is not offense, but I am a westerner and definitely I feel the same. But for the sake of my marriage sanity…