Oh, thank you, that’s really helpful, & the last bit gave me a good
chuckle! 
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Why do you remind me of Dave Allen…??
@Astaire TLDR … Cliff Notes of the last 200 messages 
That is a very low bar (as long as you don’t go around telling everyone to foff,.)
What if, just what if, people could try to not offend people? Of course it would happen, but if the goal would be not to. Why not be concerned about offending people? I don’t get it… Again, not saying it won’t happen but at least the goal is to always try not to.
What if all the people who say "I was being sarcastic or sardonic, etc. used regular communication so that when they communicate, others don’t have to guess what the message is. Nobody would need to say “you didn’t get it”, “I was just joking”, “lighten up…” what if?
Then, people would have a better chance at knowing what people mean. When people use sarcasm as a communication method, it is manipulative because the other person never knows if the original communication is serious. I see this a lot – people who are provocative with their words (sarcastic in the tone and the words) explain it away by saying “oh, I was joking” So, the others communicating with the person using sarcasm to make points are always off guard, always one-upped, and never get a say about their feelings because the answer is, “oh, I was being sarcastic… you didn’t get it?”
Comedians that are on tv at times get paid to be funny. Sarcasm doesn’t equal comedy. But even if it did, this is a site to be used by people who are trying to be airbnb hosts. It is a hard argument to say, “well, what about comedians? They are sarcastic…”
And, if you know that your comments have caused others in the past to “not get your humor”, well, maybe don’t use it here. It is manipulation and keeps those who rely on that explanation to be allowed to do whatever they want to with regards to other people. My observation is that those who interject sarcastic comments and unrelated stuff like politics (in a discussion about guest fees) know what they are doing and are just looking for an argument.
Why is it necessary? Why is the bar only that as long as you don’t tell everyone to foff you are doing fine? I think we should be concerned when people call us on things like that.
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I’m so tempted to say “snowflake” right now. That pisses me off because I loathe that term with a passion. But honestly? Your post made it pop into my head. Just like that, there it was. Please don’t try to stifle things. If you can’t cope with people’s varying sense of humour, I can only suggest trying another site. Yes, this is a place to help and support airbnb hosts. But it’s the internet! There are strange and weird people on there, just like real life. You can try to sanitise it but hopefully you will never succeed.
This forum is so great because it hits that precarious balance (most of the time!) between fun and serious intent without overt interference. It’s the best benign dictatorship you could wish for. Please don’t imagine you could do better. Thank you.
edit: I only speak for myself, of course.
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Then we would all sink into a warm vacuous sea of nothingness. If we have to try not to offend people then something has already gone seriously wrong and we all need to be a bit stronger. So let’s focus on strengthening our mental muscles rather than immediately reaching for the smelling salts.
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You saved me writing this. I had to stop reading this particular message, it hurt my already sore head, with the over sickly sweet “let’s not make anyone uncomfortable”, if you want bland this is not the place.
Please, we have personalities here, we aren’t cute smiley folks who don’t want to disagree with anyone in case they are offended. Real life is about differences. As long as we aren’t abusive to each other don’t try to bring the level of interaction down to almost meaningless. Sarcasm, wit and humour are ways intelligent people convey meaning. If it’s above your understanding, then ignore it.
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Mag, thank you! You took the words right out of my mouth.
People DO need to lighten up and stop overthinking things.
Some people have been around the forum posting for a really long time and have a good, realistic perspective about things.
And others, not so much. 
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My approach is not to care too much, meaning not to invest my personal energy in a disproportionate way on internet forum discussions. I was telling my adult daughter about this forum and how helpful it was, and she said, “Awww, you’re making new friends.” I said, “Well, not quite, I’m making internet friends.” What’s that meme – “On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.” (Imagine cartoon of dog at computer here!)
So that lets me enjoy the positives. First of all, this is a wonderful place to kvetch – us hosts have to have our “customer service” face on when dealing with guests, so to have a place to vent and engage in dark humor, like retail workers or emergency room doctors or anyone else who has to maintain a public mein when dealing with varieties of odd behavior – awesome. Second, the tips and suggestions from someone else who managed to get through a situation like yours – invaluable. Third, enjoying the discussion and repartee, without making too big an emotional investment in it – fun.
Do genuine friendships and relationships, even face-to-face meet ups, occur because of forums like this? Of course. But am I going to invest most of my emotional energy in the relationships that are most important to me – family, friends, co-workers, and my lefty political groups, and generally not a lot on internet forums I participate in? Yep.
I do believe this group is a cut above in that it self-polices pretty well – tip of the hat to the moderators here. Anybody really evil would pretty quickly get shut down, I think. Like, “What’s the best way to decorate my Nazi-themed Airbnb?” probably wouldn’t get too far as a topic. So thank you all for your contributions.
dpfromva (woof! woof!)
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This has happened to me. I took it as a win. I got paid and I didn’t have to clean up after them. In my situation they showed up early before checkout time and expected immediate entry into the apartment. I told them the previous guests were not even awake yet. (early, I was barely out of my pjs) They left in a huff, and I was notified shortly thereafter through Air that they had cancelled. She demanded a refund but I refused, purely spite on my part but she was extremely rude, unreasonable and abrupt. I have refunded on occasion (not fully) when circumstances and politeness were present. I call it an admin fee, each booking does take time to deal with and recompense for that time should be compensated in my view.
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I’m glad you picked on the hypocrisy of this poster. In my experience, the people who make sanctimonious statements asking others to not to be X, y or z, are far more likely to be the worst abusers.
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What does the reference of “snowflake” mean? I haven’t heard that before.
Hi Louise, what do you mean when you say “worst abusers”. I called out someone who used inflammatory and derogatory words and then it was explained that it was a joke. I have since read the post and my thoughts still stand. No hypocrisy in my opinion.
I believe we should say what we mean, not explain it afterwards when someone has an issue. If you meant, “it’s not necessary to tippy toe around every single thing you write, worrying some poor soul out there is going to take offense.” Say that - without the poor soul part in my opinion. Words matter
10/26 note: sent apology to website cabinhost person
you Called out a mod. I think mods have excellent judgment about what is appropriate here…
It’s sort of gutsy to come here and scold long time members, especially moderators, about what they should and should not say.
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I’ve read the comments, you jumped on someone who was explaining their experience, qualified it with information on their frame of reference. Their post was civil. Your response was rude and uncalled for. You are hypocritical in that you ask people not to be offensive, but your comments are quite offensive.
I do wonder why you have deleted so many comments.
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I deleted comments because I was feeling attacked. Also the posts I deleted only had to do with a conversation regarding feedback to person in our state. Lastly, I did delete any previous posts (like when I listed my property here so that I could get feedback.) I didn’t want to get anymore people on this site telling me that I am weak, get a stronger mental attitude, and many other comments that I have gotten. I can send you anything I deleted if you like.
You are right - I should not have gotten involved in that or emailed you. I am sorry - it was just a spur of the moment reaction and I apologize. Thank you. C
Which person and post are you talking about? The THT post?
I didn’t look thru all your comments. Are there more were you found offence and chastised poster? Maybe you should focus on your hosting questions and leave it to the moderators to take care of the forum. They do it very well. I’m sure if they want help, they know who they can depend on to do the job properly.
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