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Upset guest over me checking if all was well

I made a guest mad unknowingly for just checking on her. My guests had plans to go to a football game and one stayed behind. I stopped in to see if all was well . She said yes she just didn’t want to tailgate. I made casual chit chat about her dogs for I am a dog lover too.I find out today she didn’t go to the game for fear I would come in go through her things and steal her famous rescue dog. WHAT??? I am the host , not a thief! I can not believe someone would even think this of me.I didn’t even charge her the pet fee for her dogs. I am just floored!

Well, that’ll learn ya’ won’t it!

No. 1: Is that your usual procedure…to appear at the door and ask how things are going? (I would rethink that.)

How did you find out that juicy piece of information…that the guest was worried you would go through her things, etc., etc. (eye-roll).

And…why did you not charge her the “pet fee” for her dogs…plural!


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I was walking my dogs in the morning and her sister asked me what happened? The sister is the one that told me. I didn’t do a dog fee she decided to bring them after she reserved.

Did you enter the house, apartment?, without knocking?

No, absolutely not. She invited me in and we talked about rescue. I also have rescue dogs.

OK. Then I’d say this person is not worth the worry because she’s probably a bit off in the head.


The sequence is confusing – if she was home while her friends were at the game, how is it that you checking in caused her to not go to the game? Was she intending to go late and then you showed up and she changed her mind (and decided she needed to stand guard of the apt?)

Maybe she’s just lying to her sister and used you as an excuse for not going. It sounds a bit psychotic, I would also just ignore it.

I would ignore the incident.

I would also either explicitly state NO DOGS ALLOWED, or charge a hefty Pet Fee up front. That way if someone shows up with un-announced dogs, you can deny them access.

No matter how much you love dogs and have your own, from a Host standpoint they can be a nightmare (cleaning up messes, broken items, chewed/destroyed items, feces and urine messes, hair all over the place, etc.) if you allow them in the space with the guests. And 99% of guests would not like having to cage their dogs outside the room.


What exactly did the sister ask you? Where do you live in proximity to the house they rented? You were walking down the street with your dogs…and the sister comes chasing you asking what happened with her sister??

And how exactly did it come up in conversation that the sister chose to tell you that her sister did not go to the game for fear of you entering the home, rummaging through her belongings, and stealing her famous rescue dog??

At first it sounded like they were renting a room, then your response to someone else made is sound like they are in a separate apartment. If they are in an apartment, then why would you knock on the door to find out why one group member wasn’t going to a game??

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Well, she might be simply a nutcase but if that happened to me I would a) ask myself if I’d done anything to make the guest think that I was anything less then trustworthy and b) if I couldn’t figure it out, I’d ask her.

She was intending to skip tailgating (before the game) and then probably used you as an excuse to not go at all. Whatever the nutty reason, the guest and her sister sound like drama queens. I would chuck it to experience and in the future is best to walk in parallel to guests, if they need you they will find you, otherwise distance is the best policy.

Probably 1/4 of the human race is neurotic, why take a chance? :rolling_eyes:

100% of that are women…

*/me gets hat and runs out the door.

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I do animal rescue and have to say… we range from eccentric (myself), to unstable drama kings/queens, to mentally ill. A lot of weirdos say they are a rescue. Oh, the stories I have!


Did you send a “checking in” message to them already and then showed up at the rental without warning? As a guest, I would be put off by that. When I do the meet and greet, I let my guests know that I will check up on them via a message and, if they don’t need anything, I will leave them alone but to be sure to contact me if they need anything. 99% of guests want to be left alone, which adds to the feeling of being “at home”. If they don’t respond to my check-in message. I try again. If they still don’t respond (only happened twice in about 100 bookings), I send another message that I’m worried about them so I will come by and see if everything is ok. The last one I did that to was the guest who asked for a substantial discount after she booked (and who also gave me less than five stars for almost everything).

Thank you for the advise. No I didn’t message. I am new at this. We live next door to our guest home and I sure learnt a valuable lesson on this one. All of my other guests seemed to like the care and concern we had for them to check if they needed anything and in return were given good reviews Thank you


I don’t think you will have one single guest that you won’t learn something from, some are minor little things of course, but with others something more profound; I suppose that is what tends to make hosting interesting and fun most of the time.

@Chris Hahaha. You know you going to get me in trouble. :sunglasses:

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I tend to send a text on the second day just to say I’m checking that all is well. They usually respond positively. After that, I leave them alone - if they’re staying a week, I’ll send another perhaps four or five days later.

I take it as a given that after I’ve already been chatty at booking, chatty at check-in and then sent an “everything ok?” message, that they should know they can approach ME if anything’s not ok. I think these days most guests like the personal touch at booking and arrival, but once established, prefer to be left alone.

And as for the pet fee :frowning: I think we have all learned the hard way, “Give an inch, take a mile.” Fortunately your lesson on this hasn’t been too troublesome.

Every guest is a learning experience :slight_smile:

Because you live next door, I’d suggest that you really don’t have any need to check in with your guests at all. (Despite what it says on Airbnb ‘So-and-so are on their trip. Be sure to check with them to see if they need anything’ etc).

I never do. After I’ve greeted guests and shown them the apartment, I point out where I live (just a few steps away) and say ‘You’ll find me there if you need anything at all’ and then I leave them alone. No messages, no contact.

I find that guests like to know that I’m there if they need anything but prefer their privacy. It’s very rare for guests to actually need anything and ask me.


Wow what a jerk. The whole idea about basically staying behind so nobody steals your stuff it’s pretty much ridiculous especially if you had other guests and gotten good reviews. So this person I think has a few screws loose and perhaps believes that she is a little more important to the world than she actually is.

Also I think it’s a good idea to think about what to do next time someone shows up with either an unexpected extra guest or an unexpected pet. I mean you don’t go to a hotel and just show up with your dog without knowing beforehand whether that’s okay. It’s quite obvious. Because pets make messes sometimes and sometimes they bark at night when people are sleeping. I would suggest next time too that if someone shows up with a dog or a pet of some sort that they didn’t announce prior to their stay you absolutely have the right to ask for a pet fee from them or they can go find someplace else to stay.

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This is most definitely been my experience especially of late. I have had at least one guest check out because she said it was not like a hotel. And of course the guest before her was an absolute nightmare who took advantage of every inch that she could get. I will never be that friendly to a guest ever again.

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