Unstable Guest Seems to be Planting Roots

Here’s a scenario for my fellow hosts to mull over:

I have a guest who checked in a few days ago. He needed a place to stay after having epic fight with finacee. He’s somewhat local - coming from a few towns away. Asked to book another week, so we did. He doesn’t have any place to go. We have future bookings - he’s lucky we had a week available (I have 33% occupancy rate).

Nice enough guy, but seems unstable. Goes on about how “crazy” his ex is. He admits to being somewhat unstable himself. I keep asking if he scheduled an appointment with his doctor and to take care of himself first. He says he will. His ex-fiancee has threatened to take his car away which apparently is in her name. Stolen car = felony. Apparetly she’s a high-ranking psychiatrist who clears the president’s detail - something to do at Hanscom, I guess. He says he will expose sex videos or her own text admitting she is “crazy” which could ruin her career if she takes his only form or transportation away.

I know this all sounds f*cked up. Try being his host and listening to this daily. Not sure if anyone had this type of booking before. Seems atypical. We’re hoping he leaves in a week, or sooner, but the job he got at the end of our street doesn’t convince us he’s ready to go anywhere anytime soon. Thoughts? Call to Airbnb? Ride it out until next guest arrives?

Please do not extend his stay any further. Tell him you’re sorry, you have another guest on another platform coming. Anything. You don’t need this crazy drama.

You can ask Air to ask him to leave early also. You don’t have to have anyone in your home who makes you uncomfortable.

Be careful renting to locals who are displaced for whatever reason. Good luck, let us know what happens,


Has he threatened harm to the ex or you? If yes, call police immediately. I don’t what the laws are in your area, in some you would have an obligation to report to the police the threats of harming property.

If he has a history of mental illness, his threats may indicate he is not taking his medications, meaning he may be on the path to getting worse.

Do what you need to do to be safe.



Well, whad-ya think? I think you already pretty much know the answer but just for grins, let’s consider what you’re dealing with:

  • He doesn’t have any place to go.
  • He seems unstable.
  • He admits to being unstable.
  • It’s “his” car but it’s in his fiancé’s name (hmm…so that makes it whose car?)
  • He’s going to “expose” her and ruin her career (wonder what he plans to do to yours if you cross him).
  • You listen to his crappola daily (so where’s the cutoff…hourly?); and
  • He’s got a job at the end of your street!

Sounds like you’ve got a real sweetheart on your hands. (Do you reee-ly need a poll on this?)


I call total BS on this. Sounds like pretty grandiose thinking and calls to mind personality disorder. @konacoconutz is spot on. Get this guy out of your house ASAP.


Oh come on! Why are you even posting this? Get him gone. Full stop, period, end of.


I am sure I will be the minority here, but here goes: Just set boundaries with him - don’t engage in discussions about the ex. Be clear about that. If his payment is good and he’s not breaking house rules, then ride it out.


Without being there first hand I’m on the fence about ride it out or get him out. I tend to say take the money through the end of the week.

But then he needs to find another place to stay and that includes not coming back after your intervening guest arrives. So I think this is tricky, getting him to check out normally and not having any more drama. Getting him to find somewhere else to live and not foisting him on another host. Calling airbnb now and triggering drama? I’d want to avoid that. As for gf story that can probably be verified by Josiah but if I were him I wouldn’t post any more details here on this public forum.


Agreed since I already know who she is!

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I’d be calling ABB ASAP and state that the current guest reported himself as ‘unstable’ and that it makes me uncomfortable, I’d refund despite cancellation policy, and get this guest out ASAP.

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Thanks for everyone’s feedback. I’ll probably delete this post soon - it’s a small world.

So far so good, and we don’t want to just kick the guy out. But yes, I agree not to keep booking. We’re not in the market for a roommate. We’ll just keep encouraging him to see his doctors and find housing.

He’s a full grown guy sleeping in a twin bed in a tiny room, so there’s not much incentive for him to stay long.

I’m not sure I understand your logic here. A twin bed is 8” wider than half a queen bed which many grown guys sleep on. I’m a bit worried about you in this scenario. Don’t be too nice, keep us posted.

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I wouldn’t trust that a twin bed is going to discourage him from wanting to stay. After all he has a roof over his head and a listening ear.

You sound pretty wish washy, and I am sure he can sense that. This guy is not leaving on his own. You need to tell him it’s over. Ride it out but don’t extend.

This could easily turn into a squatter/overstay scenario, especially if he reaches 30 days.


We’ve got a series of concurrent bookings next week, so unless someone is willing to share a bed with this guy, he’s got a find a new place to stay. Checkout is Mon. We have no bookings again until Thurs, but I might block Mon-Wed and tell him we got new bookings, although we get new bookings almost weekly, so it’s a risk of losing guests - there aren’t many places to stay where we live which is why we’re so busy.

@Maggieroni & @konacoconutz, we’ve been dinged by a couple timed by guests who stayed in that room who were somehow surprised that is was a twin bed in a small room which I clearly describe as such. We can’t please everyone, but it is nice twin bed. Even I’ve slept in it when I’ve come home a bit too late and don’t want to wake the spouse.

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Are you saying that a 33% occupancy rate is busy?


@smtucker, I stand corrected, we seem to be averaging a 40% occupancy rate. But if that’s not “busy,” you try having strangers sleep in home nearly half the month, and flipping bedrooms 2-6 times a weekend. We’re not a hotel, but when you go from 0 to nearly 15 nights a month hosting people, you certainly feel busy. Not to mention we have a real day jobs.

And considering where we live, I didn’t think anyone would use Airbnb way out here.


I don’t consider a 40% occupancy rate to be busy. Per my stats page, I have an 86% occupancy rate. I allow one night stays so I do a lot of turnovers.

I guess it’s all relative.


im 45% and feel busy and burned out.

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I have a unit 2 doors down from where I live. It is an entire 1600 sq ft condo so many of my guests are 3-6 weeks.

HOWEVER I do go through periods of short term rentals only: The STR occupancy rate was/is about 45%. Those months wear me out with the cleaning & prep. Plus I work outside of the home.

I can’t imagine handling an 85% STR occupancy rate. I think I would be totally bald from tearing my hair out, heavily dependent upon my favorite local wine store, and look like a raccoon thanks to the dark circles around my eyes (sleep deprived).

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