Uncomfortable with guest

Hi, there. We have a guest who is staying with us for a week. He had a bike accident and lost a job and is depressed. He says he’s depressed and my husband the psychologist says he is VERY depressed. This guy says he has a girlfriend back home in Boston – but why is he here hours from home? He sleeps most of the time, doesn’t have a car and we are out in the country, never seems to eat. I’m worried that he’s mentally ill. I’m retired and female and when I’m alone with him in the house, I worry. Today I came home and the shower was on, running full blast. I knocked on his door and he said he’d “forgotten to turn it off.” What if he’s so depressed he commits suicide? I told him if he wants to leave a couple of days early I’d return his money. He told me to not worry, that he’s not crazy. Any advice?

If he’s that forgetful he’d leave the shower on, I’d worry it might next be the oven or the stovetop. What if he burns the house down?
If I were you I’d call air and explain he’s no longer a good fit, you feel uncomfortable and you’re happy to refund for any nights he doesn’t stay if he leaves early. They’ll help him find somewhere else


Thanks for the suggestion. I might do that. I think I really need to consider not renting to people with no reviews unless I talk to them first.

Good luck!
I understand you’re concern about his mental health but you need to make yourself the priority. Keep us updated

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I will keep you informed. It’s unusual for me to feel uncomfortable with a guest. We’ve had great luck. I will search the forum for posts about women being alone with single male guests – whether they ever get nervous. We usually have couples stay here.

I realize my last post might have been confusing. I’m uncomfortable because I’m concerned about his mental health, but a little part of me is anxious to be alone in the house with him.

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This sounds like a difficult and uncomfortable situation for you. Is there any particular reason that gender plays an issue here? Has he made inappropriate or aggressive advances towards you?

CALL AirBnb and tell them exactly what you told us in the OP. Then ask them to have him leave…


Ask AirBnB to rehouse him.

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@Robert_Dudley Sometimes you can be amusing, but sometimes you can be completely out of order. This is a new poster and not used to your rather out of kilter sense of humour.

@Rachael52 I understand why you are worried, and why he makes you feel uncomfortable. Bottom line - if you feel uncomfortable, then don’t have him in your home. As others advised. Give Airbnb a call and see if they can help him find something else.

Why did he originally come to your area? Has he got somewhere else to stay on a permanent/temporary basis.

My other concern would be he has nowhere to move onto.


I had the same situation . My guest was fine in the beginning actually very nice guy. But then he lost his job and last 2 weeks were night mare. He started taking some pills and slept all day . Then he fell and had huge bloody bruise on his face and bleed all over sheets and pillows. I had to throw 2 pillows away.
I also felt very uncomfortable with him in a house. But he was the sweetest guy ever in reality and just was happing very bad luck . I couldn’t wait for him to leave. But i didn’t say anything. I did not want to add to his misery. He also left burner on and it was good that my other guest was around


I want to thank everyone for their responses. He’s leaving tomorrow and I’ll be out most of the day so I think we’ll be ok at this point. I’ve learned a few things. 1. We should really think twice (or three times) about people with no reviews. 2. On weeks where I’m home a lot, I am uncomfortable with a man who has no transportation and is around all the time (maybe that sounds sexist, but I’m an older woman and we are sharing our home). 3. Airbnb is there to back us up if we get really bad vibes. 4. There is a community of hosts who are caring and compassionate and full of good advice. Thank you.


Just wondering how a guest having reviews would have prevented this from happening given a lot of what he’s going through is circumstantial. He could have stayed in three different properties and got three great reviews because he was employed at the time and hadn’t had an accident.

This guy is down on his luck; prior reviews won’t necessarily help you avoid guests in this situation.


Agreed. It doesn’t sound like what is happening to him is necessarily his fault. Bad stuff happens to people, often through no fault of their own. Sometimes they can’t cope with it. Most people already have enough crap to deal with. If they get some more, it can get too much to bear and they can go to pieces. (The proverbial last straw.) And this is the US, right? I liked living in the US, but it’s not a rest cure at the best of times. To start with, a country with sky high health costs, and no functioning health care system is not a recipe for a relaxed life.

@Rachael52, FWIW, I don’t think Airbnb host reviews for guests mean much. Most people don’t like writing bad stuff about guests - including myself. So, unless a guest is like out-and-out crazy or a criminal, or something extreme like that, people are not going to write bad stuff about him or her. And depression (even clinical depression) is extremely common, and depressed people are not a danger or a threat, except to themselves. Though, granted, he could forget to turn the gas off and blow you all sky high - there’s certainly an element of increased risk from people who are so miserable they don’t know what they are doing. I’ve been there - so have many other people. But I realise it isn’t your job to deal with this kind of stuff.

(Just some Friday evening ramblings.)


I’m also an older woman living alone and have had many guests with no reviews including single men. I have instant book with no restrictions so I take all comers. I understand as I also don’t like it when they are here hanging around in my space. I’ve now changed my setup so they have their own entrance and private bathroom and doors between us I can lock. You may not be able to do that. Also there are ways to deter oddballs without excluding all new users. Make your expectations clear and make it obvious you don’t live alone.

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@KKC when you say they do you mean guests in general or male guests specifically.

I mean guests in general.

I never dreamed I’d get so many responses. There are a lot of good ideas and opinions, so thank you. I’m glad the issue of reviews came up. I think you can learn a lot from multiple glowing reviews but not so much from no reviews. Anyway, thanks again.

I think you just happened to get a very depressed guest. He did book knowing your husband is there too. If he doesn’t do anything crazy on his last night, please think hard about saying anything in a review that might put him over the edge. You don’t want to be that final straw if you really think he is suicidal.

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