I’d message, and say “I need to keep all conversations on the app for our mutual protection. I understand if our place no longer meets your needs and you want to cancel. If you decide to keep the reservation we can make a one time exception to our strict policy. The additional charge will be xx total and I will send an alteration request. You will need to accept within 24 hours.” Just keep it neutral and professional. When I travel with my group of 50 something friends we are great guests, even when consuming generous portions of wine. I’d rather have a group of women than a family with kids stay at my “home that sleeps 7.”
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