Prospective local guest wants to spend time with "girlfriends"

Require him [them] to provide their own towels. … :grin::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Laws are different depending upon where you are. I think the bottom line is decline if you are uncomfortable in any way.

In the USA there is a risk of losing your home if it is involved in illegal activities (e.g. drug sales, prostititution, etc.).

Personally I’ve declined two females who wanted to rent my condo during a “biker weekend” and inquired about access for their “dates” to a gated community.

Yes, there are many reasons for not declining a reservation as a host BUT if I am uncomfortable that overrides all.

Although you’re asking us what we think about hosting this guest, I sense you already have an idea of whether or not you’ll accept his booking.

I’m with those who suggest you follow your instincts.
We know Faheem is one of our wise and respected ones here. Loved too.
He’s the one to ask, not us.
How would you answer me if I’d posed your question?


Like someone else, I think you do know what you want to do here, Faheem, but thank you for both asking us, and telling us about this situation; I found it very interesting on a cultural front. Re-reading this morning, my overriding sense is that this chap expects you to a) read between the lines b) collude with him. He seems to be saying that he has problems at home i.e. not getting enough marital sex for whatever reason, so he wants to rent your room for visiting “girlfriends”, and not get caught by his wife. The expectation that you will collude with him is fascinating. I bet he gets a shock if/when you don’t!

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I love reading these threads.

@faheem maybe he doesn’t want a review of him and his friends that could be found? I don’t think Hotel 69 reviews guests.

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‘man wants to shag in overnight accommodation’ shock horror! Sounds like money in the bank to me! He probably wants to go off platform so that nothing shows up on his bank statement

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Hi Faheem,

I am pretty sure you don’t know me yet as I don’t post that much. But I read a lot and have read lots of your posts. So I feel like I do know you a little. And judging by that, I don’t think you would at all feel comfortable with this guest/setup and you should nip this in the butt rather sooner than later.

He is definitely sleazy and most likely wants to cheat on his wife, who is probably at home with their children. Not that I am judging this, but that just doesn’t sound like something you would feel comfortable enabling. There is a high probability he is paying for sex if he is planning these get aways regularly and in advance. Do you really want someone like this in your house?!? Getting familiar with your house, the guards, and everything? Give that you are a responsible person who has people to be responsible for, I doubt that.

While it might bring in some money, it might also interfere with longer, more profitable bookings with guests you might actually have things in common with.

Plus, just thinking of all the cleaning-related issues that could arise would make me want to steer clear of the situation.

I think that’s all I have to say.

Oh, and I think AlexSJ got autocorrected when she meant to say ‘do you need the $$$ or do they’ll come in handy?’

Are you tempted to start vetting all guests, just in case they’re pulling a fast one and not being upfront about it?

Thank you for the comments and thoughts, everyone. I really appreciate it.

@astralita12 and @Joan, yes, I already have some idea of how I feel, but it’s helpful to hear what others have to say. Actually @Joan, it hadn’t occurred to me that he might have a wife and family at home, and be nipping off for something “extra”, but now that you mention it, that does like the most likely interpretation of “problems at home”.

@Kingi Thank you for your thoughtful post. I think your thinking is quite close to mine. If I had to summarize my feelings about this, it would be in one of Airnb’s favorite phrases. Namely “not comfortable”.

Yes, that sums it up quite nicely. I don’t really want who-knows-who knowing where we live.

Readers should bear in mind that this is a very large Third World city in one of the more lawless, and certainly among the most crowded places on the planet. This isn’t Copenhagen, Amsterdam, or even New Haven, CT. Things goes on here that one can barely imagine. It’s not a good place to be taking risks in. We’re fairly insulated here, and I’d like to keep it that way. I also did a quick search on the net about prostitution, and like a lot of things in India, it operates in a gray area. But apparently prostitution in hotels is in theory a prosecutable offense, and if someone got wind of this and reported it, it’s possible there could be trouble. Though in India you can often buy your way out of stuff, needless to say, this isn’t something one wants to happen.

Sure, but in practice people come, people go, and you never see or hear from them again. I’ve met some people through this who seem nice, but they mostly live far away and have their own lives. It’s often strange meeting these people, really, because they often live such different lives, It’s like meeting characters out of a movie for a few minutes.

I suppose it’s possible for super energetic and social folks to keep in touch with past guests and even maintain relationships with them, and of course it helps if your visitors are not from another continent. But it’s not something I’ve ever been much good at.

Anyway, thanks once more to everyone for the responses.

who’d be prosecuted? Hotel, prostitute, or customer?

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In India it would be whomsoever the police felt like prosecuting that day.


Hi @Barns,

For your entertainment and edification, I refer you to
Section 7 in The Immoral Traffic (Prevention) Act, 1956

Specifically, see item (2), i.e.

…lets the same or any part thereof with the knowledge that the same or any part thereof may be used for prostitution, or is wilfully a party to such use…

However, for people who aren’t familiar with India, you should know that laws in India don’t mean much. As someone once put it to me, they essentially amount to suggestions. Which might be a contrast to other places. I once had a couple of lady guests from New Zealand. One of them worked for local government. When I made comments along those lines, she said something like: we make sure that our laws are followed. I responded that, yes, well, it didn’t work that way here.

Another side-bar. The site Indiakanoon was set up by an Indian computer scientist who thought the general public should have access to case law. Naturally, the govt didn’t do anything, because why would they care whether the public had access to law records?

Yes, something like that. But it’s quite likely that everyone concerned could be prosecuted. Though probably the police (or whoever) would mostly be interested in being bought off.

Totally agree with you. It’s perhaps difficult for some people to grasp the cultural chasms that exist in India, plus the extreme wealth inequality. Put the two together and you have children/young adults exploited for sexual purposes in ways we can’t imagine in the West.

That sounds like a lot of money, about what I get for a single room in the UK.

I don’t think it is, really. This is about the most expensive place to live in, in India. And India, or parts of it, anyway, aren’t as cheap as people think. Yes, food is cheap. But other things aren’t. Though they aren’t as expensive as the UK, either.

I live in an expensive city in the UK. I don’t know about India but for me Airbnb puts too much emphasis on driving prices down.

It’s the same here. I think it’s the same for everybody. They never stop talking about reducing the prices, with side orders of Instant Book. For some reason they don’t talk about making the cancellation policy more relaxed, though.

All excellent points and I could not agree more