@Chris this made me laugh. It’s blunt but true. I’m grateful that I read the gentler posts first but it’s kind of what I needed to hear.
@JamJerrupSunset I think you are right that I need to get over it, and this forum has really helped with that.
“I also listen to what the guests say when I get less than 5 stars because often they will say things other guests are too polite to say”
The frustration for me was that the guest said and wrote ONLY positive, in fact glowing, things including that she was looking forward to coming back to stay with us again and gave us 5s for all but location (which I can’t change, don’t understand and precisely described well ahead of her stay). I would feel much better if she had offered anything that let me know what I could do differently. I’m left guessing.
Well, don’t concern yourself with it in the future- just assume there’s no good reason, it’s just fickleness, which is the case the majority of the time when they have zero complaints and said they had a great stay.
There’s lots of things you run across in life that seemingly make no sense. For instance, I’ve never been able to understand why anyone uses some kind of container they place in the sink with soapy water to wash the dishes. The sink itself is a container designed to hold water, so it makes no sense to me- it’s just one more thing to keep clean and find a place to stash when not in use.
As I have several friends who do this, I’ve asked them why. They never have any explanation that makes a bit of sense to me- it seems to be just something they do because that’s how their mom did it and/or how they’ve always done it.
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We have a generous cancellation policy so plenty of time to change her mind.
Even with our cleaning fee and the ABnB fee, it’s well below other accommodation options that are on much busier, noisier roads.
@SleepingCoyote what’s the right balance between the low nightly rate and the number of amenities? We don’t let people know in advance that we provide fresh bread, cereals, snacks and milk. Our whole list is pretty long and much more is offered than we include in the listing. Usually people are surprised by what they get for the price and I enjoy that so much. Do you keep your nightly rate low and still provide an extensive array?
Other hosts who stay think we offer a total bargain.
But I think the point that is well-made by everyone in this thread is that the problem is not actually the guest but my reaction to what was actually quite a tiny blip in my hosting. And now being aware of that, it is much easier to let it all go!
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If your sink is full of soapy dishes then how are you rinsing the dishes? Are you running the tap to rinse them? I wouldn’t even be alive today if I had ever even thought about running the tap. I shudder to think that my stepdad might still be alive and reading this. 
Besides, they double as foot soaking tubs!
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Double sink, one side for washing, one for rinsing. I can understand why someone with a single sink would use a container, I actually did that in a house I had that only had a single sink. It’s when people have a double sink that it makes no sense to me.
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You mean “makes no sense to me.” This is a good example of how “common” sense isn’t “common,” it’s cultural.
In any case, among the people I grew up around, who usually had two sinks, they didn’t have a garbage disposer and it was easier to pour the sometimes icky “gray water” on plants or yard. Other folks in other cultures may have other reasons for using a container.
I also found that being the spawn of people who grew up poor in the Great Depression and were subject to rationing during WWII exposed me to a very different culture than those with younger parents. Furthermore, things we did in a hot dry climate were different than what my hot, humid climate cousins did.
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There’s a lot in that.
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oh I FEEL YOU!!
We are in the Adelaide Hills and probably have maybe 5 hot days all summer, not in a row! (I am from Qld originally so my idea of “hot” is different to here.) today it topped out at 17º and was freezing, I lit the fire for our guests… Fun story: I have a bride booked in for this weekend and she was most concerned about our lack of a/c and I was so confident I told her i’d go an buy a portable a/c unit for her should we need it. The weather forecast for this Friday… 16º !
Oddly I get more complaints from guests about the “heat” than the cold (which is really astounding). We also do not have a/c, we do not need it and I don’t want to carve into my sandstone home with those ugly units, nor do I want to pay the energy bills as people try to cool down enormous rooms when the building will naturally cool down at night.
I also get people who booked to stay on a farm and then give me 4* for location because we aren’t close to anything. We actually are brilliantly well located to so many local places, but some people seem to think driving more than 10mins in any direction is unacceptable (esp Adl people, do NOT get me started!!).
I got a 3* from some Perth woman who wrote “even though it was spring it was very cold”. omg, some people from other states with their notions of what the seasons should be like drive me bonkers. I now say in our welcome message “do not underestimate the weather here” to set some realistic expectations, both for the local city guests (who can’t fathom that heading upwards in altitude gives you cooler weather) and for interstate guests who don’t actually understand seasons, and terrible weather. (Always relieved to host guests from Vic and Tassie!)
there’s a guy on the CC who just got his 5* back and i think it was 199 reviews at 5* and 1 x 4*.
I’m not obsessed with maintaining a perfect 5*, you’ll drive yourself bananas. The guest suite with the weather complainer is now at 4.88, I took a hit on that because it only has 30 reviews in total, so it will be a while I think before I can get it back into the 4.9s, oh well. I know we offer a good product and experience, and I continue to make improvements to all the spaces.
It sounds like you are doing the right thing, and going above and beyond for your guests. I know it hurts, but everyone knows that there are kooks out there who leave dumb reviews, or guests who don’t know that 4* is actually hurtful to our rating. it’s a real world example of systemic injustice.
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well you’re working through it better than me. I’m still peeved over that annoying woman and her 3* over the weather (and she also couldn’t get the TV to work, even though they came to go to a wedding and were hardly here, and she never once communicated with me via message or directly). But yeah, we need to learn to let it go…! 
Actually I had forgotten about it until I read your post, but what I did do was respond to her review and say how shocked we were to get a low star review from a guest who didn’t once communicate any issues with us, and of course there’s heating in the suite and the TV is fine.
yes, it’s sounding like you aren’t making much profit. I worked out my base costs per night , If i start offering food as well (and sometimes we do put in a bottle of wine) and then I’m discounting the nightly rate, I’m making <$100 and that’s not good. This is the trap of one night stays, I can’t be including $30 worth of extras, that’s only feasible for longer stays IMHO.
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I find AC units to be super ugly, too. Some designer could do well coming up with attractive AC units that fit well aesthetically into various types of decor and with a color choice.
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Those exist, there are a few different companies like that. They are at least better. One of them even offers “art” covers. I’ve considered them but even with the more aesthetic designs and choices they still block a window, which is what bothers me the most, having it blocked and not being able to open it.
Now they have these U-shaped/saddle types that hang over the sill instead of sitting in the window. They don’t block the light or the view and you can still open the window. They aren’t much prettier but you don’t notice them as they are lower profile and below the window anyway.
Personally, I don’t even care to have an AC in New England. It’s rare that it even gets over 90F and if it does it’s only for a day or two. For a day or two I can just wear a lot fewer clothes, lol. But my husband is from up here and does not have the heat tolerance that I do so I lose windows every summer.
No, those are super ugly to me. White and shiny with zero aesthetic value. They rather look like a large version of those public restroom hand dryers. They certainly don’t go well in a Victorian home, or any other type of decor aside from modern.
I wasn’t actually even thinking about the window units, but the mini-splits that are pictured above, which are the type of AC units I am used to seeing everywhere. The units that fit in a window are what I think of as very old-fashioned, although perhaps they aren’t and are still used in a lot of areas.
Yes! That is a huge improvement.
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That’s funny. I’ve never seen one of those in real life, only on forums like this.
They seem normal to me (though I’ll admit they are very clunky and do seem archaic). Most of the windows in my area fill up with them around June or so. It was the same when we lived in NYC too - whole facades filled with ACs overnight (and it’s quite nerve-wracking to install them on the 12th floor, eek). They weren’t common in L.A. but it doesn’t get very warm there. Of the few people I knew who even had AC most only had window ACs (other than posh friends with nicer homes) and they all lived in the Valley where it’s much warmer. And even though central AC is the normal thing in TX it’s still not uncommon for older homes and/or poorer folks to only have window ACs (or no AC at all).
I’ve also had to shop for them for our listings and there are tons of them being made, including the designer versions I mentioned. I definitely do not want one of those split things up on my wall like that. It’s really kind of hideous, much worse than the window types IMO, so I’ll probably just slowly replace our current box types with the saddle type.
Yes, that’s much better. Good on you!
But do they have to be up on the wall like that? Or is that just a preference?
That is how I have always seen them mounted- I imagine it’s the most efficient placement, as cold air drops, whereas hot air rises.
But I most often see them mounted over the bed, which is the ugliest placement possible, IMO.
I bet the window units are more common in temperate climates, as you can remove them outside of the hot summer months. But the mini splits are what you see in the tropics, at least here in Mexico, as they might be used year-round.
I assume you mean ‘high’ on the wall. I think it’s what @muddy says, that if lower the cold air would drop to the nearby floor and not cool the place. By the way, these are both AC units and heat pumps for heating. We don’t really need it for heat, but it is a useful backup.
I think this is a whole lot better aesthetically, inside and outside, than blocking windows and windows’ light.