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Major guest fatigue

Everyone, I am just getting burnt out. The more I give, the less I get.

I feel like just removing a lot of the amenities I provide these days… Everything is an invitation for criticism.

AirCon: The air conditioner, though very efficient and quick to cool, is loud.
Condiments in the fridge I’ve provided for their use: There were spreads and such, obviously left by previous tenants, in the fridge.
Things you might have forgotten to pack, supplied for your use in the bathroom cabinet: We had no place to store our toiletries.
Books on the shelf to read: There are too many personal effects left in the apartment.
Beds: They’re too soft. They’re too firm.
Sheets: They’re too scratchy. They’re too soft. They’re not cotton. They’re dark. They’re light.
Pillows: They’re down. They’re not down. They’re too firm. They’re too soft.
Lighting: It’s too bright. It’s not bright enough.
Floors: The floors are creaky; you should do something about that.

The list goes on and on…

I just…want to give up some days.

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Pave the yard but make sure it remains soft and green.

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I just want you to know your post was just perfect.

Clear, succinct, well-written, interesting. I would not change a thing. :relaxed:

5 stars.

Hang in there!! I’m sorry it’s such a tough time. I hope your next guests have better manners and attitudes!!! In my limited experience sometimes after a run of tough ones a good one comes along and I remember why I’m doing this.

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It’s just hard, sometimes. We spend so much time making a happy space for others, and then we come back to our own place (just upstairs, y’know) and we don’t even have the energy to do that for ourselves!

And we have a multiple-stay guest who is offering to pay us any expense to ship our bed to her in Ontario. So it can’t be that uncomfortable. I feel like mentioning that sometimes… Sheesh!

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I can understand this one completely. We recently had one of these grumbling guests who was complaining about how the bed in his bedroom was too soft. So, he moved to the other bedroom, which happens to have the exact same bed, mattress, sheets, etc. Surprisingly, this bed was just fine. Is this a placebo effect? Is there just a need to complain about something?

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Last guest compared the full-size bed to “sleeping on a cot.” What? My two-year old Serta?!?

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I agree. We can account for a lot of things, but the psychology of the guest mind is not something I’m trained for.

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Hi Natalie

I really feel for you. I’ve been there myself and although I’ve only been hosting for just over a year, I’ve had over 75 guests so feel I’ve learned something along the way. If you permit, I’d like to offer a little advice.

Don’t be too keen to please. In the beginning I was always offering to do things for guests and asking them to let me know if anything wasn’t pleasing to them. And so they did! But usually in the reviews.
So I became less solicitous (still welcoming and polite) but endeavoured to appear less open to “advice” from guests. The pickiness stopped and the reviews stayed good.

The only other thing I kind of agree with is that although I know it’s nice to leave stuff for guests, I absolutely hate arriving somewhere to find open stuff in the fridge. I’ll never use it. At our house where we do a complete rental, I leave salt, pepper, flour, vinegar. I don’t even bother leaving olive oil anymore as guests go through a whole bottle and don’t replace it.

Give yourself a quick break from hosting. Even a week can do wonders. And everytime you feel it’s not worth it, go back and look at that Airbnb email that says “We transferred $XX into your account today!”

Good luck.

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Couldn’t have said it better myself @Wilburforce!

I agree - read, mark and learn from Wilburforce’s post!

I also don’t any longer ask guests if they can think of anything that would have improved their stay. I think the psychology of that is that the guests may have been perfectly happy, but, asked to change into critical mode they feel they somehow have to come uo with something!

I used to ask this, and one of our nicest guests, who has returned several times, looked at me and said, deadpan, “Well, you could have moved the house a bit nearer to the sea!” She was a psychologist and explained the “switch to critic mode” behaviour to me.

And, yes, make sure you have some time off and do something nice for yourself!

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Thank you for your gentle post articulating exactly what we have to endure. ’

So we will add ours. Our guest said our mason jar glass tea collection were not true glasses.

She said our outdoor shower stall with the instant hot water heater that flows into the surrounding vegetation was a car wash. the same design is provided at a similar listing nearby for 130$ a night and ours is 80$ and less.

She said our plates and cutlery were cheap and we have noritake china and wallace in native design.

Then she says that our movie collection was bad quality DVDs. Except they are all themed westerns that were filmed in our area, and feature our landscapes, were remastered by someone not ourselves obviously and are purchased on amazon, and are licensed copies. its not like we filmed them bootleg in a movie theatre with our iPhone.

But our favorite was that the walk to the outhouse was too much for her. Even though regulations prevent putting the composting poo next to her bed. And moral compass.

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I don’t have this problem at all. No complaints, 97% 5 star reviews. I look at my competititors and it’s the same, no critical reviews. I’m thinking it’s because my abode (and city for that matter) is very humble and prices tend to be low. It’s not a tourist area and there are few luxury accommodations. Is it possible that when you have a high priced luxury suite you attract the wrong kind of people? LOL

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I’m sorry to hear and I completely understand. I removed free breakfast for the same reason. Are you a super host? I’m one and I host at my own home, which is difficult. Sometimes I wonder if SH filter attracts this kind of people. Someone in another thread suggested that guest are getting more picky in airbnb, I’m trying to be more detached.

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Thanks very much for the advice. In Airbnb blog they say the opposite, advising you to give an extra: the welcome basket, the free stuff, etc. The first time I got 4* in overall experience -it was always a 5* for a while- I tried to improve and asked for feedback; I think I behaved too keen as well, and it lead to 4* or 3* in categories I always received 5*. So I stopped trying excelling and decided not to invest too much. For the moment, I’m seeing better results in reviews, but it is too soon to say if it works. Overall I’m happier.

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Yes, the critic mode. So interesting. I wonder if when people are asked to critique, they don’t want to come across as not very well travelled or not cosmopolitan enough and so work hard to find something to criticise.
I like your psychologist story.

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Wilberforce is right, it’s possible to do too much. I provide those picnic salt and peppers, and round canister of sugar, and that’s the only food. Unless they are traveling internationally and will arrive in the evening, then I put out something like bagels and fruit so they can eat a little something before going to the store. Beyond that, it’s too hard to guess what they like or how they will feel about things.

As to hard and soft beds, one of mine is very firm, so I got a good deal on a soft mattress topper, so now they have a choice, take it off or leave it on.

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This is excellent advice.

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i have hosted over 1300 guests and what i learned from it is that you should find a balance between offering the least amount of things but at the same time make your home cozy and comfortable. the more you put in your home , the more potential trouble so i keep a minimalist approach. guests love it and i get stellar reviews on how my house is clean and tidy na dit feels very cozy. to avoid host fatigue i try to interact as little as possible as possible though being extremely responsive by phone or email. i host everyday 4 people so i you need to learn to manage host fatigue and burn out. less stuff in the house means less maintenance, less worries, etc…

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Are you hosting them in your home, or a separate apartment?

Yep, welcome to the wonderful world of hosting. :frowning: You’ll never please everyone, and just remember this when you get a crack from a guest: Even the 4 Seasons or the Waldorf Astoria gets people complaining.

But I hear you. The best thing to do is stop offering the extras and amenities, because as you have discovered, they don’t seem to have much bearing in reviews, and quite frankly offer the guest one more platform on which to pick you apart.

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