Long Term Guest Suddenly Unhappy after 6 weeks of no complaints?

Hi all!
I am new to the site, but my husband and I have been hosting and co-hosting multiple listings for over a year.
We’ve had many short-term and long-term stays, never had any issues–we have SuperHost status and great reviews.

SOME BACKGROUND INFO
(We live 10min. away from Princeton and we are the CHEAPEST listing in a large radius! AND we always give generous discounts for stays over 1 week)

SCENARIO BACKSTORY
Our current guest is a young female student, who has stayed 6 weeks, and only has 3 more nights to go. All throughout her stay we have constantly asked her if she needed anything, and have apologized for things like dishes, etc. and assured her we could take care of anything on the spot if she needed it.
All throughout her stay, she has been extremely pleasant and always insisted that she is fine and that nothing we’ve asked her about has been an inconvenience or issue.
SUDDENLY, 3 days before her departure, she sends multiple messages via Airbnb with a plethora of issues, all of which were very oddly exaggerated and taken to a further extent…
Even more frustrating, is that she claimed several times that she addressed these issues with us when they happened and she feels we haven’t respected her!
There were so many things that she claimed, never addressed, and then made very strange accusations and assumptions that were insulting and weird.
She accused my husband of certain things, and said she was uncomfortable with her stay and felt her privacy was invaded.
Having never been in this crazy situation, we called Airbnb and did as they recommended.
1st – obviously apologized, and offered partial reimbursement
2nd-- asked for other accommodations be made for her since she is uncomfortable, and since we were now confused and uncomfortable with the sudden outburst and wild accusations thrown at my husband
She would not answer airbnb’s calls, she got into an argument with my husband–never happens!
We obviously don’t want to “throw her out” on the spot, but we want her to leave tomorrow.
She’s mad that “we spoke on her behalf, and spitefully called Airbnb, and assumed that she wanted to leave”

This is so bizarre, and it truly feels like she’s trying to build up a case or something out of the blue.

ULTIMATE QUESTION:
Any advice? Has anyone else had a long term guest who seemed extremely content and suddenly blew up, started making demands and accusations?
I really appreciate any feedback/insight, we really are eager to please and have never been in this situation, thanks!!!

Sounds like she had a good stay and then decided to make accusations to try and get a refund

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I would not offer any further financial compensation for what are obviously false charges. I hope you made your request for her comfort, is everything ok ?via Airbnb messaging system. If you didn’t , In future please do so even if you talk to people face-to-face, it’s important afterwards to send a brief email by the air B system reiterating the conversation. This gives proof that you did ask how they were doing, then if the guest says everything’s OK, they can’t come to three days before checkout and say I want my money back.
Hold your ground communicate only via Airnb.

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Sorry but your message is not clear. I understand you are stressed but asking for other hosts past experiences is not going to help you right now.

What are the guests claims?
Why are they exaggerated?
Why did you apologise and offer a partial refund?
Why have you not DEMANDED Airbnb cancel her booking and you make her leave?

It sounds as if you are suggesting she has made ‘exaggerated’ claims of some kind of sexual misconduct by your husband? If so and if false then I would IMMEDIATELY cancel her booking on this basis myself and explain to Airbnb you think she is a lunatic looking for a refund and/or a lawsuit and you will not have your totally innocent husband jeopardised. What if she calls the police and makes a claim. You won’t get back reputation or legal costs. Get her out now.

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How awful for you both. Some thoughts;-

If there had been existing,on-going issues, she would surely have let you know via Air messaging as they happened/arose, not as she has suddenly done three days before she leaves; she obviously know how to use the system. And why didn’t she leave there and then, if that’s how she was feeling? For her to suddenly pull out all this terrible stuff, particularly what sounds might be lurid accusations against you husband, leaves me thinking in two directions. As already mentioned, she may well be trying to scam you and you have already, quite rightly, spoken to Airbnb. In a way, I am hoping this is the case and that Air will see her inconsistencies.

My other thought is, given the way you have described this sudden onslaught with words such as bizarre, wild accusations, is there a possibility she is suffering a mental health crisis? Not wishing to speculate on her accusations, I would put forward that these are proving difficult times for some of us. I am personally finding the on-going, relentless disclosures of sexual abuse and assault hard to deal with. On the wider front, I experience the attempts at trivialising so hurtful, particularly in the social/public realms I (perhaps sadly…) inhabit, and I am becoming so angry, I could explode. In fact I did the other night, after a particularly difficult comment from a friend, but at home with a loving, supportive husband to hug. On the private front, I am having to confront and deal with experiences long forgotten. But I am an aged, robust and resilient individual and your guest is young and perhaps a vulnerable personality. Even if this is the case, it is not for you to have to manage and I truly believe that one way or another, Air need to step in and relocate her ASAP.

I wish you both well and you will get past this.

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Hello @Mariah

Sorry to hear about your experiences.

It’s not really clear from your post what she has accused your husband of and why she feels uncomfortable in your home.

When you say you have apologised for things - what things have you felt the need to apologise for?

How did your husband get into a situation where the guest was arguing with him?

It may be that mental health issues are involved. It may be that she is setting up to get a refund. Or there may be reasons that have been building up over time that have got too much for her. Or a combination of all three.

In your situation it’s clear that for both your sakes and your guests, they shouldn’t continue to stay in your home.

Call Airbnb now and explain that you feel uncomfortable with the guest and that they need to cancel the booking and help the guest find something more suitable for her needs.

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I hear you Joan some people just push you to the edge with their insensitivity. I hope your friend and you patch things up when you are feeling calmer and perhaps have a vino in hand! I am trying to practice ‘responding, not reacting’, yoga helps. PM me anytime if you need a chat.

I deal with sexual abuse/ abuse issues frequently professionally and I have a very low tolerance to people making false or exaggerated claims of sexual misconduct but obviously a zero tolerance to sexual misconduct.

I had a situation I won’t detail too much (again) with some troublesome some nursimg students, trying to get a refund for a long stay booking because actually one of them missed her BF after 1 night and said they through they would be ‘attacked’ walking 50 metres to their car before/after work as they wanted my private, non guest car park. All on Airbnb messaging at MIDNIGHT when they cancelled. When I rightly declined any refund, as they had booking 3 months in advance and cancelled for problems of their own creation, they phoned Airbnb and alluded to my innocent son, then 17 being some kind of sex offender. Actually, one went to the loo, left the door 3 inches open, my son pushed it to go to the loo and closed it immediately when he realised one was using it. He saw nothing. I told them they were a disgrace to people actually assaulted and should not ever be caring for patients until they grow up. Airbnb also called them and abused them for lying and making my son cry and me feel unsafe in my own home. My son slept in my room that night for his own protection from false allegations I told them to leave by 6am before we got up.

They did. Air backed me all the way. We as hosts need to stand our ground and I hope nobody ever makes you feel uncomfortable and that @Mariah does the same if false allegations have been made about her husband. Some people are unsuitable to share a home with others.

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Thank you so much Emily. I really appreciate your empathy, both towards myself and Mariah and her husband.

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This is a very long post @Mariah with no specific information. You need to help us help you by providing details of exactly what the guest’s problems are.

Bit surprised that you say you’re the cheapest, and always give generous discounts for long term stays…as oft mentioned on here, it can work against you, regarding quality and integrity of guests.

I shall be watching this thread with interest, as I’m about to Airb a room, and I will be around the property most of the day, now worried that it’ll make me vulnerable to the type of accusation your husband may be facing.

Hope it all goes well, don’t throw refunds around.

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AirBnB is not suitable for long term bookings, you need a proper lease.

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There are thousands and thousands of men who are hosts or co-host in live-in situations or run a bed and breakfast.

It would be rather an over-reaction to be concerned about false accusations of sexual-harassment.

I am sure you aren’t the type of man to harass your guests. The number of male or female guests who make up false allegations are in a tiny, tiny minority.

@Mariah is a host who has just joined today and hasn’t been back with additional information to help us understand her situation. She hasn’t actually specified that her husband was accused of sexual harassment.

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I didn’t specify it either :grinning:

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Initially that’s what I assumed!
but after numerous attempts to address/rectify her complaints although we only believe 30% are valid inconveniences that we took complete responsibility for (i.e. I have had many events that I had to cook large qty. of food–therefore dishes piled up periodically, but we always apologized and assured her if she needed us to clear them out at that very moment, we would–yet, she always smiled & said ‘no it’s np!’ & continued convivial convo w/us), we without hesitation told her (as per Airbnb’s recommendation) that we’d reimburse her for the rest of her stay if she left. My husband went as far as to tell the Airbnb rep that’d he’d help pay for alt. accommodations for her!

Yes, we always asked if she needed anything & other such inquiries & she has seemed very happy the last 6 weeks!–This has all happened within less than 24hrs!!! thanks for the advice! I have been so confused by this, tried hard to remain diplomatic, but I realize she needs to go and we don’t truly owe her anything at this point

several examples of claims:
feels disrespected because we had state inspection randomly arrive weeks after they initially told us they would, and they entered her room (while she was at work) for a total of 5 seconds–she is appalled by the invasion of privacy and demands the inspection notice document after we apologized for not being able to give her earlier notice… obviously she has no rights to such docs.
the general accusations against my husband:
feels he is keeping tabs on her! because he asked her to hang her keys near the door when she is home so we know not to disturb her–we’re young & ‘obnoxious’ in private, we’re night owls, we like loud music/tv and having personal guests and we obviously don’t want to unknowingly disturb her with any of that
we never made the key request before, my husband took it upon himself with good intentions, she agreed with no disdain, did it for about 2-3 days, and then stopped doing it, and we didn’t care/nor say anything about it, because it’s not a big deal
I expressed to her that from her perspective I could see how that may have made her feel uncomfortable which didn’t occur to us earlier, apologized, etc.
I am glad you are asking the questions the way you are, because I’ve realized we have been so accommodating, and really shocked by the sudden outpour, you’re right and we are in the process rn
thanks!

thank you so much for your response!!
yes, I agree that one of the biggest issues is that she didn’t address anything as it happened, although she is claiming repeatedly now that she did!
We are so relaxed and eager to please, that I think we’ve allowed ourselves to succumb to this craziness in the past few hours! And yes, I figured there could be so many different reasons, like a emotional crisis etc, and I felt bad and that’s why we’ve been so flexible. For the last day she has only been communicating with my husband, because he formally runs the listing, and I was at work and school all day. Nonetheless I made one last attempt to find a solution and let her express her concerns to me in private, worrying maybe there was miscommunication between her and my husband that I could clarify.
She came across as extremely upset and uncomfortable via airbnb messaging, and a recorded argument with my husband!—yet, she told me in person that she’s not really stressed about any of it, just feels really disrespected. Her affect did NOT match what she was saying, and I began to really her complaints were self-entitled and she made all these weird comments!
I was so stressed about everything that I had taken a Xanax for my anxiety prior to our convo and the gravity of the whole situation did not hit me until the morning :frowning: I just kept trying to be attentive, not really processing what she was saying
We’ve been in constant contact with Airbnb and they have been so passive!!! We’re trying now to put a firm foot down, we have just never been any scenario like this and we are not aggressive people

This is actually one of the few things I insist on. I must know when guests are in the house. If there is a fire or another emergency, I need to be able to tell the responders if there are people up on the third floor. It would not be fair to ask them to jeopardize their own well-being for an empty space.

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thank you for your response!
Yes I definitely ruminated all of the possible reasons to the point where I felt so bad for whatever caused her to snap that I let it override our own comfort in our own home because we didn’t want to “throw her out” at 10PM last night :confused:
she asked him last night to remove the fire alarm the inspector placed in her room because it was beeping, and when he did, he said “see, it only takes 5 seconds” trying to illustrate that no one was snooping in her room/invading her privacy etc.
this upset her, she expressed how she felt disrespected, went on about her privacy, felt she was being watched etc, to which my husband replied (in a clearly annoyed voice honestly) 'I don’t know why you insist that we invaded your privacy, no one other than the inspector was in your rm, i don’t what paranoia you are having, but i really don’t give a shit what you do, or where you are’
granted, not the most professional or friendly way to respond, for sure
but this is after weeks of nothing but friendliness, and then all of this hostility and claims, and slamming the door apparently
It’s only been a few hours since this bizarre issue surfaced, and I thought we were trying our best to be reasonable, but at this point, and after reading everyone’s responses here it’s clear we let things get too far and that she needs to go

thank you for your response!
that’s a terrible situation to be in, so sorry you and your family had to endure that, but glad to know that it was resolved! I agree, the way people throw around claims of sexual abuse is revolting and uncivilized.
Luckily they weren’t ‘sexual offense’ related, but accusing my guest accusing my husband of essentially stalking her is still insulting and unsettling. We are currently demanding Airbnb relay to her that she needs to leave today, and they are in the process of contacting her. My issue now is her not responding/answering their calls since she is at work/or possibly simply avoiding them…

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