Yup - they choose the house - they see the location - they arrive - and don’t like that THEY have to get back in the car to go out for dinner! HOW IS THAT MY PROBLEM!
There are 4 entire houses to rent here - 2 are closer than me town town by 2 blocks
STILL A CAR JOURNEY!
There are vouchers for delivery take in the house manual
JEEZ
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Airbnb–with their prompts pressing guests to share, share, share how we may improve?!? 
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Honestly, I don’t know how some of you have the nerve to aspire to be Airbnb hosts … surely you know by now what your guests want!
They want … a seafront view but with mountains rising behind …(and yes, Kona, I’m afraid the sand has to be white - maybe golden at a pinch)
… a warm and friendly host but who apears only when needed …
… a characterful period apartment with full modern aircon, heating and wifi …
… a tranquil location but within two minutes walk of a buzzy city centre …
… a tropical climate but the sun should not be too hot …
… historic monuments but with modern shops, roads and plumbing …
… characterful, “real” locals, but please, no poor or differently-coloured ones …
… an “exotic” culture but English spoken everywhere …
Really, that shouldn’t be too much to ask, should it?
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I would just like to say that it is clear that the overwhelming majority of my guests do not fit the descriptions of demanding guests that I am reading here . They are appreciative and leave me 5 stars across the board.
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We can see that from the numbers you posted ;). Significantly less than 10% of your guests are fusspots.
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Don’t bother! Every hosts get unfair reviews if they host long enough. There are always unappreciative guests no matter what you do, and there are always guests giving 4 stars for no reasons (maybe they do have a reason like your home is not as good as a five star hotel, lol). Just ignore it and focus on your happy life, don’t get affected by these, life is really short.
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Thanks Freya! Exactly what I needed to hear!
I simply hate when guests cannot afford to rent something better and more expensive and then take it out on me in a rating. It happens consistently during the low season and low prices. Personally I always rate according to value for money. I won’t downgrade just because somewhere, at some point I had a better accommodation for a cheaper price.
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It’s just a paradigm that’s appeared–the pro/con list thing–on all areas of the web having to do with reviews. People imitate what they see. If there were a police line-up and I had to pick out the person most likely to leave a pro/con list review I would have picked this lady who left me one. That phrase “get a life” comes to mind. She had lots of time on her hands.
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One Hundred Years of Solitude. Probably not the best title for an Airbnb host! 
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Oh, very interesting. I wish I had a “special” novel. Probably the closest thing would be “Nineteen Eighty-four”, but I probably wouldn’t call it my absolute favourite book.
And I see you still use British spelling…
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Absobloodylutely 
…
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Huh? What’s the alternative spelling then?
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Favorite… .The way it’s pronounced
Are you two taking the piss on us?
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There is NO alternative spelling!
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Oh, I see. It’s pronounced 'favv-or-right.
My favourite American pronunciation is ‘tomaydo’.
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We may have had heated arguments, early in our marriage, about how to pronounce herb and basil.
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I’ve always found food pronunciations to be the trickiest of all. But I’ve held out after all these years and still don’t have an American accent. But I’ve had to adapt, food wise, and learn that here aubergines are eggplants and courgettes are zucchini!
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