Ha ha! Love that Kona!
I remember I had a guy here for a week who was a great guest, because he was completely invisible. We never saw or heard him the whole week. My favorite kind!
Anyway, he checks out and all his luggage is sitting in our foyer. We sent him a message to say ‘what gives?’ and he said (very politely) ‘Oh, so sorry. I had to leave early for a family emergency. I will come and get my things around 10 pm tonight.’
‘No, you won’t.’ I said. ‘We are in bed by ten and have to work tomorrow. You’ll need to come at least before 9.’ Long story short, he said he would send a friend to get it, the friend never showed, and this went back and forth for like another week. i was getting ready to send him a note saying i was donating his things to charity, and my neighbor stopped me saying that local laws require i hold it for at least 30 days, and I don’t want to get sued blah blah.
Ever since then, I put a line in my house rules that says ‘Host not responsible for items left after check out.’ I figure that covers my ass if anyone ever decides to inconvenience me with their lack of planning or general irresponsible behavior.
I had this gal from Australia forget her external hard drive, and she has been pestering me for six months asking if I would kindly copy her files to an online storage space she set up. Oh HELL to the NO.
To be honest, I really don’t mind going above and beyond for pleasant guests who are a delight to host, which is about 95% of our guests. It’s the unpleasant pain-in-the-ass ones who I cannot wait to get rid of for whom I won’t lift a finger.
For instance…had this butt head staying with me for the past week. He’s a spoiled brat from Hong Kong who was just incredibly demanding, entitled and rude the whole time he was here. Leaving the air conditioning running full blast day and night (even when it’s in the 60s outside). Slamming doors all hours of the night and even having loud conversations on the phone right outside my bedroom door at 2 a.m.!
So, this morning when I sent my usual flowery bon voyage message, he replies with ‘I want to leave my luggage here because my flights not until 8 p.m.’
No ‘would it be okay’ or ‘could I ask a favor?’ He just expects that I will bend over backward for him because – I don’t know – i guess back home they treat him like royalty because he’s a male and the only child.
Nope. ‘For insurance reasons we don’t provide this service,’ I said. ‘You’ll need to leave your keys and take your luggage with you by the noon check out time. Safe travels.’
And don’t let the door hit your fat ass on the way out, doofus.
Sorry…it was a long week waiting for his check out day. 