Is this Rude- or am being overly sensitive?

The group is made of individuals and if one individual of the group messes up it shouldn’t hurt the other members of the group. I just treat others the way I want to be treated and am offering Sunshine a suggestion of how she might approach it.

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Yes, this is certainly rude and our own good manner reflexes kick in when we are exposed to this kind of behaviour and we quietly get indignant but don’t like to say anything. A bit of insight into rude people. They are so used to us good mannered people not liking to say anything that they have no incentive to change. Perhaps he would not have been so willing to shake your laptop around if he thought he would have to replace it if he broke it. Interestingly, you say his wife was very nice, then why is she allowing her husband to be so rude or is she simply so de-sensitised to his behaviour that she no longer notices? It seems that her lack of intervention on his inappropriate behaviour makes her just as rude. For the future, pre-prepare a mantra that you can politely reel off should this happen again, for example, ‘this is my space, let me show your yours’. I would certainly mention the lack of respecting boundaries in any feedback, again this can be done gently but effectively by using words such as ‘inquisitive’ and then give them a low star rating when it comes to respecting house rules. I had a family check in and during the first 2 minutes of the orientation one young son threw the sofa cushions on the floor and proceeded to belly-flop on to them from the sofa. The other son then grabbed the TV remote and began to bang it back and forth on the table as he could not work out how to use it. The parents did nothing but watch. I stopped my orientation and looked at the children until the parents finally got the message, then explained to the children that their parents had paid a large security deposit so they needed to treat things with care. They spent a damage free weekend at the cottage and got their deposit back in full!

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Good one!!!..

Report back to us how the rest of the stay goes and if the behavior continued. Are you positive this was a husband and wife? Most wives will keep their husbands in line when they act a fool.

Let’s say he is autistic or something and was not just a rude person. It still doesn’t make sense for her not to point out to him “hey put that laptop down” etc. And she could have politely pulled you aside in private to explain why he was acting that way. But just to go around ignoring it isn’t right at all.

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I love this!!!

Was this a line you had already thought of? If not, you think very quickly on the spot! Bravo.

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Just another point of view - which many hosts here might disagree with… :slight_smile:

I can imagine that many guests - especially those who are new to Airbnb - would feel a little insulted when the host explains the house rules as soon as they arrive. I would. Regarding this chap taking no interest, I get that a lot. Not everyone wants a host to explain everything the minute they arrive.

Sure, trying to open doors is a bit rude but because they are new to Airbnb, I wouldn’t pay much attention to that. I know that ‘we are not hotels’ but the chances are that a new guest’s accommodation experiences in the past hasn’t included locked doors and house rules. (And we know that guests don’t read house rules, anyway).

As for the computer thing, that was definitely rude but I don’t have anything available that guests can’t use. As for the review, I’d wait and see how clean and tidy they left the place, that’s my main criteria.

How I’m treated is way down the list. Yes, I expect to be treated respectfully and politely but guests will be guests.

As for the review, the husband’s behaviour is something that I would only mention in the private feedback.

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@jaquo I totally agree with you ! :relaxed:

When we started BnB’ing we had a Mexican friend stay over who works in tourism. He gave us a few valuable tips, one of them being: When a guest arrives after a long journey, he will be tired and not interested in a lot of fuss and explanation. So just give guests a warm, but short, welcome, show them their room and the bathroom, and tell them you will be there if they need you. (We are live-in hosts.)
Before I had never considered the best way to approach arriving guests, but to me his explanation was spot on: Exactly what I would like as a guest! :relaxed:

For the house rules, we have them in our welcome “newspaper”, and at the bottom of the house rules is the wifi code (a great tip I got on this forum), so whenever someone asks for the wifi code, and most guests do, we just say: "Second page of your newspaper, below the house rules. :blush:

I must admit that our listing and our rules don’t require a lot of explanation. I can imagine there being more complex situations where the above doesn’t apply.

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It’s not that I pound them down with a bunch of rules when they arrive. :smile: but I do consider it an orientation on some special quirks of the room. Since I normally won’t see them again I always try to tell them the nearest beaches, snorkeling tips and such. I have a giant map on the wall to show them. This is a big place and I know they don’t want to waste time trying to figure out where to go and how. The one thing guests consistently mention positively (almost too much!) over anything else is this one thing I do for them when they arrive. But I am in a unique place and it takes some planning to do this island and I want to give them the best chance possible to make the most of their trip. I know that is not the case for everyone. I also use this chance to get their tax and waivers so all the business is out of the way.

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Def husband and wife, told me pre booking.
They were supposed to leave at 9am this morning, but seemly were held back collecting hire car, so were bk at the apt late to get their luggage.I told them to message me when they were leaving so I could nip back from work to lock up.
Hadnt heard from them and no response when I sent a message, so I came back home about 10.15am to find them sitting with the daughter having more breakfast!!! (The daughter wks in the city).
I cant say anything about them still here as our check out isnt till 11am, but communication would of been good! As for the daughter I politely introduced myself and told them only people who paid for the room were allowed access to the apt. I dont think its sunk in as they are still sitting there regardless! Now i’m waiting around wasting my time!

I had a child like that before, throwing my fruit around on the floor, throwing my delicate ornaments. The mother just stood there. I was like you really need to control your child. This was when i didnt accept children and it was a third party booking!

“As for the daughter” Okay that’s it for me. These people are clueless and you need to tell other hosts that.

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I know- Ive had this twice very recently, guests bringing people back. Ive just printed out all my rules to put in the info pack, aswell as having them on the site when they book. From now on i’m going to physically hand the pack to guests, and also mention there is house-rules to be followed at the back. (Its in a clear folder, so when they turn over its right at the back ready to read- but i wont hold my breath) :wink:

Ps: They left chocolate eggs. Sigh. Makes me feel guilty writing anything bad, but it must be done! They had good points to i suppose :wink:

@sunshine1

While all House Rules should be in print, if it’s a shared living situation, some rules should also definitely be verbalized to prevent awkward or aggravating situations.

I really like the language @mistymoments presented earlier when walking guests through the house ~ “this is my space, let me show you yours”. Also, do not stop or pause in your space, just keep walking directly to theirs.

If there is a common problem with the male wandering off during your spiel, I would stop and regain his attention and say, “Paul this will only take a minute longer and I need both of you to hear it.” …or something along those lines. Take control.

Guests having visitors is also a rule that should be verbalized for its importance and to remove any doubt. I would say something like, "I know you are in town to do some visiting but please know that visitors are not allowed in my home – only registered guests such as yourselves so please do not invite anyone over. You will need to meet friends and family elsewhere.

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Yes… I sometimes think they think family are exempt from this rule.

You could also try to rephrase it so it is more emphatic…

ONLY registered guests in your approved party are allowed in the apartment or on the property. No additional people are allowed at any time. Thank you.

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Well this is really rude and dry mode I am shocked how anyone can behave like this. You must warn them to behave like senior citizen and smooth.

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Thanks for the advice guys. Really appreciated. I will definitely be taking it onboard.

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