I would eliminate the part about offering breakfast when you don’t list it. Trust me, you will be expected to offer the same to everyone. Or perhaps rewrite to "Though my listing doesn’t include it, I provided these guests… Lowers expectations for future guests, assuming they bother to find reviews that you have written for others.
Commenting on personality traits of guests just doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. Also I’m not a fan of someone providing something I didn’t ask for and then resenting that I’m not appreciative enough. Is it in your rules to turn off the AC when not home? If not I’d take that out of the review as well. I’ve already posted that going into the guest room and turning off the air is a better strategy than resenting guests who don’t do what you want.
If they paid, were quiet and left things in good order, didn’t damage anything, didn’t endanger anyone or anything I don’t see the problem.
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I think a short review is more likely to be read all the way through. Maybe just the first couple thoughts:
Unfortunately, I cannot recommend S and M. Though they kept in touch, they kept changing their arrival time which was inconvenient and caused me to put off errands and miss a family dinner. They would be better suited to a hotel experience where congenial interactions with others is not necessary.
I would change “too comfortable in my home,” to “took too many liberties in my home.”
You’re right @KKC. Thanks for helping me see that. I also see your point about the breakfast thing, and I feel the same way in many instances. That being said, I do breakfast for everyone, and I don’t expect gushing thanks or handstands. Other guests have not said thank you either, but it didn’t bother me. There was just something about this woman’s overall attitude, which I’m clearly having a difficult time articulating, that bugged the you-know-what out of me.
No, it’s not in my house rules that I expect people to turn off the AC. I hate having a laundry list of rules. I don’t want people to worry I’m going to go off the deep end if they leave a towel in the wrong place, nor do I want them to feel micromanaged. I guess I’ve been hoping turning off the AC was one of those common sense, common courtesy things. I mean, really, in this day and age, who doesn’t know, or care that leaving an air conditioner running is harmful to the environment and costly? And leaving it running when you don’t even need it because it’s 72 degrees out? I felt that was disrespectful.
This sounds really good @Artemis. I edited a bit and will review as follows:
S and M were good guests in that they were clean and quiet. They were self sufficient and kept to themselves. Though they kept in touch about it, they pushed their arrival forward several times, which was inconvenient.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to discuss and advise. As always, I appreciate the feedback.
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I having a hard time resisting making a joke of this.
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I know… I saw that too and kept my thoughts wrapped up. No wait, I enforced discipline and didn’t mention the code. Well, ok, really it hurts me to say this but it had me all tied up in knots.
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Bwhahahaaha!!!
20 characters
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That caught my attention immediately also. 
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I was just thinking “I wonder if Mearns is going to have a go at this one?’”
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At first, my initial thought was: My has this thread drifted into interesting areas. How did that happen? And from @Artemis of all people. LoL
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What do you mean “of all people”? Tell me it’s because I seem so nice!
And it was Chloe that started it! I only quoted her!
You are nice. 
My, this forum is really so much fun, we can find humor in the most trivial things.
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Ok, this is just me, I know, but we are in business so shouldn’t comment (in my opinion) about our errands and private dinner arrangements. I wouldn’t put it that way but just say that it caused inconveniences.
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Yes, yes, the first time I typed “S and M” I wondered how long it would be. I almost switched the initials…
@jaquo, I agree and actually did leave out the part about my errands and missed dinner plans. I just said their changing arrival was inconvenient.
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Wait, who here had the ropes? I mean robes? 
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I don’t know Chloe – I think you are backing off too much. At this point, your review doesn’t at all convey how utterly unpleasant this experience was for you. They were inconsiderate, unappreciative, and prone to complaint – I’d definitely want to know that as another host. While I see Karma’s point about not being compelled to be overly appreciative of a breakfast that they didn’t ask for, they were generally unappreciative and ungracious about everything. Like the multiple complaints about the cat needing to get out of their room – wtf? Who does that? I’m not saying to go into detail in the review but these were crappy guests who made hosting a really unpleasant experience. Just because they weren’t messy doesn’t mean they were good guests. I would much prefer a less tidy guest who was a pleasure to have around then these people.
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