too funny! 
She WANTS to be heard!
Vent, drink, vent, drink, drink, drink !! 
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I have so far managed to avoid her tonight! I heard her come in just as I was preparing to go to the local shop for milk. I waited until she was in her room and then tiptoed out. When I got back, I could hear her in the kitchen so I tiptoed into my room and will wait until she’s asleep before venturing out to put the milk in the fridge.
This is ridiculous, isn’t it? Only 6 more days to go… 
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Yes … but you’re coping brilliantly 
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Serve her morning tea in this –
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I would love to! But she’s very proper, very religious and I don’t want a fainting fit on my hands. I’ve already had to inspect her swollen ankle 
Do I look like a feckin’ doctor???
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NO!! (Sips Chardonnay …)
Send her on to me. We will do cartwheels, the coffee grinder dance & high fives on the “Hillary is Satan” topic.
THEN … (and here’s my real point … )
To me, it is a kindness to gently and firmly point out to social klutzes that they are difficult to be around. Not to put them down but to help them be easier company.
I ran into a guy some months back as I was birdwatching at the local urban park. Not as bad as your guest, but EVERY time I started to say something, EVERY time, he interrupted me and talked over me.
I tapped him on the shoulder in mid-monolog and said, evenly, “I can’t have a conversation with you if you interrupt me every time I start to speak.”
(Got the feeling from his perplexed and hurt expression that he knew something was wrong, generally with interacting with others, but wasn’t ready to address it.)
“It’s not intentional,” he finally said.
“Then what is it?” I asked, sincerely.
He moved off and left me alone.
Sometimes we don’t help people by putting up with their ways …
I think I was 5 years old when the father of little friend up the street said, as I was barreling along in my own monolog addressed to his daughter, “Conversation is like a tennis match. You need to hit the ball over the net, take a breath, and let your partner return the shot.”
What an amazing and valuable lesson to first learn at age 5.
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Reminds me of a story… I had a guest stay a couple of times. Sweet older lady, arrived with gifts for me and the dogs. But she was battling cancer and her life was a general mess, imo. Despite renting a separate space she managed to have dinner with me both times she stayed. Once was “If I buy pizza for two would you be kind enough to join me for dinner?” And of course she loved dogs so I couldn’t say no. Second visit (return trip from the failed trip out west to Sedona) she texted me to tell me the shower wouldn’t turn on. This was weird to me because she’d already been here. Anyway I messaged to “turn the handle straight up.” No, that didn’t work. So with some trepidation I said “you want me to come check on it?” “Yes, please.” All I could think was “please god, don’t let her be naked.”
(The valve above the showerhead that can adjust the water pressure had been pushed to the off position, no doubt by yours truly while I was cleaning that morning. )
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Reminds me of a story … my LOVELY guest who was a professor at Johns Hopkins whose photo radiated sweetness. I knew right from her smiling photo that came with her booking message I would like her. She opened the front door and I didn’t say hello, just, “Would you like a glass of wine.”
She was stage 4 and blew off her few months left to enjoy herself and keep working at work. Always concerned about others rather than herself.
She wanted one last trip to Italy, to take a cooking class, but was concerned that if she took very ill, and went into an Italian hospital, the language barrier would be a problem. I lined up two Italian speaking friends in Italy to be on call for help if needed. But she didn’t have enough time left to make the trip.
I am curious if others have learned of the passing of a wonderful guest?
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This woman sent my a Christmas card the first year after her visits. I haven’t heard from her since. I don’t know if she’s still living. I’ve had two human dog clients pass away in the last five years and multiple dogs but I don’t think any humans.
Yeah sometimes you don’t know for sure. After not hearing from her as expected, I had to Google her name and “obit” and, there it was. I need to send a quick note to her husband … with some nice memories.
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I get what you’re saying (and love the tennis match story) but this guest is in her late '60s and I doubt she’s going to change.
And to be fair, she doesn’t interrupt me when I finally get a chance to say something (!). In fact, she laughed at my jokes so she can’t be all bad… 
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Nice to hear the stories of past guests people made a connection with. Funnily enough, I just received a card from a guest who stayed last year and got really sick. She spent her entire holiday in my room and the hospital. She was lovely.
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Want to see less of her? Get a couple of Hillary’s books (It Takes a Village, Living History, What Happened, Hard Choices, etc.—she’s written 7 or 8 books) either by purchase or check them out of the library. Display them prominently where she can see them. Once she figures out you’re a Hillary fan, you won’t have to avoid her, she’ll avoid you.
Full disclosure: I am a Hillary fan. I was a campaign volunteer on her 2016 campaign.
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Some guests just aren’t worth the money. Guests who obviously don’t read house rules, ask for too much prior to arriving, I can tell they are going to be too high maintenance or I’m not comfortable hosting them in my home. I call Airbnb directly and speak to them about the cancelation. Their response is always, “We don’t want you to host people who you aren’t comfortable with.” They do the cancelation for me and I block the guest from any further communication. Done! In my experience Airbnb realizes there are resort/hotel people, and Airbnb people. They respect the fact that we are hosting people IN OUR HOMES. Airbnb isn’t for everyone. It should be a positive experience for both host and guest.
@Smino Goodness, I would never cancel a guest just because they talk too much! I’ve never cancelled anyone in almost 7 years of doing this. Well, apart from one case where someone fell severely ill and I found alternative accommodation for incoming guests. Airbnb were actually quite helpful on that occasion.
I’m surprised that you get to cancel so easily without penalty. It’s the number one complaint from guests: hosts cancelling on a whim. Your story goes against most other people’s experiences.
Anyway, I have only two more nights with Miss Gobbymouth. Last night I decided to bite the bullet and sat down with her to share a bottle of wine. It was hard. My son passed through at one point and this morning he winked at me and said 'So, how are “the blacks” doing?" Yes, she said that. So there was a cultural clash. It’s not normal to use such terminology in the UK. I did challenge her on some things she said but I was quite passive, to my shame. She wasn’t openly racist, just the usual shit about “how nice it is to see well-dressed and well-spoken blacks on TV”. I had no words. I just downed my glass and went to bed.
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In the 21st C., such comments constitute “openly racist.” I understand though. I had a dog client who sat in my living room and complained that “Obama wasn’t even born in this country.” My roommate at the time shot me a look but I said nothing. His money spends as well as anyone’s. I’m happy to take his money and donate to a variety of causes he’d object to.
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Yeah… I understand but I have a bit of a problem with it. She’s not a bad person, she genuinely believes that she’s a Christian, she cares about everyone, there’s not a racist bone in her body etc. To equate her with the KKK is not helpful, in my opinion.
I don’t know. I despair at the polarisation across countries at the moment.
Whilst I’ve never experienced a racist guest to date, I hear overt racial bigotry all the time in the pub next door of the “I’m not a racist but” type. I challenge when I can.
One person is an older woman, 79 I think, who just simply hasn’t moved in circles/cultures where it’s unacceptable to use terms such as Paki, but also thinks she’s quite cultured. To give her her due, she listens to me intently and is learning new ways of seeing things.
Another old boy I’m fond of, leaned over conspiratorially and whispered “At least they got the right ones this time”. This was a few days after the Christchurch massacre. He was genuinely shocked by how appalled I was, and apologised. He has since said that I’d made him think about how easy it is to fall in with the prevailing norms.
But there are a couple I would never attempt to deconstruct; one would simply shout abuse (no, I never speak to her…), the other would simply laugh at me. Both think we should get shot guns to sink inflatable boats crossing the English Channel with asylum seekers in. Including children.
I could go on but like Magwitch, I despair.
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As you know there are the same kind of people here. They like to don the label “pro-life” to go with the advocacy of outright or indirectly killing the youngsters who had the nerve to try for a better life on “our” soil. It’s a curious thing to think one is superior based on the location of the womb one dropped out of.
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