How to warn hosts of obnoxious guest asking 278639 questions and requests

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No. I might have missed it, but does Airbnb state what a ‘1’ and ‘2’ and ‘3’ and ‘4’ and ‘5’ mean for guests?

I think we’ve just recently seen here on the Forum that there are very different perceptions of guests’ conduct. Presumably that would carry over to the ratings.

Some think a broken glass, a matchbox in a drawer, an early check-in request when the listing says it is not available are serious problems (“I could weep.”) Others don’t.

So, I think I was saying – and I think you’d agree – that when we reflect on our guests’ behavior, that even when they might fall short of what you think is ‘perfect’ they really might be perfectly good, which I’d rate a ‘5.’

I would give the same discussion for rating Hosts, especially considering for both Hosts and Guests the importance of ratings (though of course they matter more for Hosts). And this is even before we get into grade inflation.

Gosh, I hope we don’t get into a debate on this one, especially as I think we fundamentally agree though you, Professor Higgins, might have chosen different words. :crazy_face:

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Hosts’ rating of guests is also affected by the hosts’s normal guest experience. If a host is accustomed to getting guests who leave the place clean and tidy, a guest who leaves the dirty breakfast dishes in the sink, didn’t pickup every piece of garbage and put it in the bin, and left some leftovers in the fridge may be viewed as very disrespectful. A host who is used to half their guests doing those things may not consider it to be any big deal, just part and parcel of being in the hospitality business.

As I’ve said before, I place little value in ratings, as they are entirely subjective, and wish they would be done away with entirely. Honest written reviews give actual information that allow each host to decide for themselves whether anything another host portrayed as a negative would bother them or influence whether they accepted a booking or not.

23

I agree.

I think this is exactly right. We see it among ourselves.

Yep, this is the key takeaway.

24

I’m a university professor and my colleagues often complain about students not reading the syllabus. That’s what this reminds me of!

I used to find it annoying to get emails all the time from students asking what seemed like dumb questions, but eventually I realised that it wasn’t just a matter of “kids these days” not being able (or inclined) to read the syllabus. Sometimes students are e-mailing me just to feel a connection, to know that there is a real person behind the lectures who will answer them personally. After leaving high school, it’s easy for them to enter university and feel like they’re just a number (and a source of money), and that no actual individual cares about them. So by responding cheerfully, I can shift their whole feeling about their university experience.

I think that’s what a lot of people are hoping for with Airbnb, right? They’re hoping for a sense of connection with a real person who owns the place, not a receptionist at a hotel front desk. Someone cheerful who can give them local recommendations and who knows how many place settings are in the cabinet.

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25

I had a guest last summer who asked me a million questions, instead of reading the info provided. I was so worried about her, and she was a mum with kids and I thought she was going to be nitpicky about everything not being “perfect”. As it turned out they were stellar guests, so friendly, really polite nice kids and she was so laid back. Clearly she’s just the type to be super organised beforehand so she could actually relax on her mini break.

Not everyone likes to read. :woman_shrugging:t2: I’m not like that, but I have 2 dyslexics in my family and both of them avoid reading as much as they can.

What you can say is “just in case I’m not able to quickly answer your next question, I do have a house manual with the listing that cover most of my common guest questions, here’s the link”. Maybe she just wanted a personal touch, and/or is just super needy.

Granted, her wanting a huge discount AND early check in is just rude, clueless and selfish.

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26

Yes, it’s right there next to the star ratings when you write a review. But it’s not as we don’t all already know what each rating means in a 5-point rating system anyway. Just think back about it before Airbnb corrupted it, lol.

5 = Excellent

4 = Good

3 = Fair (otherwise known as “good enough”, lol)

2 = Terrible

1 = Poor

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I really like what you said. It’s all true and important to remember and I agree fully.

To be fair or clear or something, it doesn’t sound like anyone is complaining about guests asking what seems like dumb questions. I think it’s more specifically obnoxious questions.

Even though you don’t mind someone asking about when a term paper is due even though the date is clearly listed on the syllabus, you probably don’t want them asking you if you’ll please give them an A even though they aren’t going to turn it in and then plainly explaining that it’s because they think it’s a dumb assignment and that they feel they have better things to do. :wink:

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29

One way to avoid this is to send LOTS of details in advance of their trip. My auto-reply after booking asks for the guest’s email address for this purpose. Right away, I email a saved template that lists things to do around town, restaurants, etc. as well as a PDF I attach that has a fairly exhaustive list of what’s included in the rental. (If this reply box will hold it, I’ll include my list here.) Guests love knowing what to expect in advance. Then, several days before they arrive, I send another email with arrival notes (where to park, how to get in, how the thermostat works, what do to for checkout, etc.). I find that having this info by email instead of in a book on the kitchen counter is much more helpful.

Good luck!

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30

ha, I do this too, and I’ve had to craft it very carefully. I mention THREE times before arrival they need to have the app on their phone so they can see the arrival instructions with photos. But also on the day of arrival I tell them to be sure they are arriving at the silver gate where our farm sign is (we have 2 sets of gates and for a long time people used the wrong ones often, even though they are very different to the pics, turned out they were using the GPS directions, which takes them to the other gate instead). It’s important to put yourself in the shoes of a guest who is unfamiliar with your space, so basically when I got the same error or question 3 times, I addressed it in the messaging.

Of course, some people still park in the wrong spot.
Or take bath towels to the pool.
Or ask me what the code is… :woman_shrugging:t2:
But these are getting rarer, which I hope means my messaging is on point.
it’s always best to keep a sense of humour, and remind yourself commonsense ain’t that common

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31

Your ‘hosting’ style continues to amaze me @house_plants

Can’t believe other hosts have liked your post where you admit you block guests who in your opinion ask too many questions.

Guests asking for a refund isn’t a reason block a guest.

What happens if they want to contact you about an emergency issue such as a leak or some other issue with your listing ?

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32

Yes – this is the takeaway!

While our first impression might be: “Can’t they read?!”

Our next action must be (at least for me): “How can my messaging be more effective?”

– Do I need to repeat the message?
– Set it off in a separate paragraph?
– Call attention to it somehow, like with “–>”?
– Point out that they are not to me misled by . . . [fill in the blanks]?

So over time we will enjoy the same experience as you:

We might be astonished at how guest behavior improves as we grow more skillful as Hosts. It reminds me of that Mark Twain quote:

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. "

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33

I agree (though probably in the opposite way; a new spin on ‘agree’). Reading @house_plants messages are a guilty pleasure for me.

I wouldn’t respond the same way, but that doesn’t make me right and @house_plants wrong.

After all, Seinfeld’s ‘Soup Nazi’ had the world’s greatest soup! I can imagine @house_plants saying her version of “No soup for you!”

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34

Someone may have mentioned this already. People ask questions for a wide variety of reasons. People who are new to Airbnb may ask a whole bunch of questions, including some that sound ridiculous to us (such as whether they will be allowed to take a shower). People who are particularly uncertain about traveling may ask lots of questions. People who are traveling alone for the first time may ask a lot of questions. People with particular conditions, needs, or disabilities may ask a lot of questions. International travelers may pile on questions.

I think I am pretty tolerant of loads of questions. I was a host before I was ever a guest, and when we booked the first Airbnb to stay in, I probably asked a load of questions.

I think patience and tolerance are often the answers.

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36

Really?

Yet the gist of your message would say just the very opposite. We’re on to you. :rofl:

Yes.

The ‘questions’ that seem most annoying are those that are post-reservation negotiating for discounts, early check-ins and late check-outs despite listing- or other language saying these are unavailable. Repeated questions feel like bullying.

panda26 and momovich inspired quite an interesting thread!

My takeaways so far:

Some of us have been annoyed at questions easily found in the listing, guidebook/manual or previous messages. @Ritz3, @Helsi, @muddy have simply referenced these in response to such guests.

@Charlotte0810 has a kind of communication campaign that anticipates questions.

@jaquo reminds us that some of these questions and requests comes with the job.

@KKC reiterates the re-questioned subject with a kind reminder.

@gillian relates that some people are dyslexic or just don’t like to read, and how as she became more skillful at messaging guest questions they became rarer.

You suggest patience and tolerance, reminding us that guests are a diverse bunch, with a range of ‘conditions, needs or disabilities’ and experience, knowledge, situations.

@house_plants discourages rapid-fire questions by slowing responses to them or inviting them to cancel, her version of 'No soup for you!"

@lisanddavid remind us that sometimes guests ask to feel a “connection with a real person.” :heart:

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37

I think you’re both confusing “tolerance” with “acceptance”.

38

Please tell us more.

I didn’t want to lazily ask you. So I Googled it and one of the distinctions I copy below:

The main difference between tolerance and acceptance is that acceptance indicates a greater sense of reception and freedom for others to be themselves.

“Tolerance and acceptance are two qualities needed for a diverse society. Most people assume that tolerance and acceptance mean the same, but they are not synonyms. Tolerance is your ability or willingness to endure the existence of opinions or behaviour you dislike or disagree with. Acceptance, on the other hand, is assenting and embracing someone or something you don’t like, without protesting and without trying to change them.”

So, the difference between tolerance and acceptance seems to me a matter of degree, though of so many degrees as to become a qualitative difference. If tolerance is 50%, acceptance is 100%; or to keep the degree metaphor if tolerance is 50 degrees, acceptance is absolute zero (I don’t think that metaphor works well here).

I’ve read here that while some of us don’t like when guests ask for a discount or an early check-in we should be, in effect, be tolerant that such negotiating might be common in their culture. Or, even if not, we ‘should’ be tolerant of those negotiating for a better deal/terms so long as it is pre-reservation.

Tolerance also seems to me to include empathy for the inexperienced traveller, the inexperienced STR guest, the dyslexic, the non-readers or less than careful readers, maybe even the forgetful, those asking not as much to seek answers as to seek human connection.

I suppose that tolerance might sometimes be somewhat grudging, that acceptance goes much farther, goes without any grudge or any judgment at all.

I suppose as people ‘acceptance’ is the gold standard, what many of us aspire to (or feel we ‘should’), though ‘freedom to be yourself’ I wouldn’t think to include [fill in the blanks].

It’s in filling in the blanks where the rubber meets the road. We’d all agree that freedom to be yourself doesn’t include criminal behavior. But for some of us it might also mean ‘not asking a question answered in the listing or house manual’ and on and on.

Patience and tolerance seem doable first steps, with true acceptance for me aspirational and also a little hard to define.

Maybe patience and tolerance – ultimately acceptance – are ‘the answers’.

Is that the more precise formulation you’re suggesting?

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39

KKC has decided she is not interested in this conversation and has deleted her response.

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40

My guess is that if it’s a group of women , or men for that matter, one person is in charge of contacting you with questions from every person in the group, so it sounds like 5 people have dopey questions when it sounds like just one. A good rule of thumb is to include all the detail info on the website and tell them that you’re sure all their questions will be answered there.
As for early check in, be firm. Tell them you must have the place completely cleaned, linens and towels washed, etc etc, that’s why you gave that time frame, and you have no idea if someone is going to book the night before last minute so NO.

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41

Unfortunately, that won’t work. Not only do guests not read, even these days I’m surprised at some of the questions asked. And when I’m a guest I’d expect something a bit more polite anyway.

But the reason it wouldn’t work is because I had a guest once who had booked quite a few months in advance. During those months I was inundated with questions from him. The most bizarre was when hew asked me the height of the bathtub.

I don’t think that there are many hosts who have the height of the bathtub in their listings. :crazy_face:

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