I booked a place on accident a couple years ago and I was an Airbnb host at the time. I was trying to send an email inquiry and it took a bunch of tries to find a way to do that. Maybe it was called a booking inquiry or a reservation request? I have no idea. At any rate, I didn’t know that I’d booked or paid. I contacted air and the host immediately when I got an email receipt. The booked dates were in less than two weeks - non refundable under their policies - but the email I’d sent was to check on accessibility and included our travel dates, three months out. Airbnb left it to the host and they refunded. (I recommend them to friends). Like most things, don’t assume that people know how everything works.
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To ask a host a question (Inquiry) you click on Contact Host in the listing page. Even if a host pre-approves an Inquiry, it’s not booked- the guest has to go on with another step to book.
You must have sent a Request to Book. As soon as the host clicks on Accept, Airbnb charges the guest.
Airbnb doesn’t make that Contact Host button easy to find. They’d rather guests book and ask questions later. 
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Patronising or what?
@Emersonnoble17 - the 
emoji means @HostAirbnbVRBO isn’t being serious - he’s trying to be funny.
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I think your analogy is quite appropriate for the situation. I was looking for that analogy but I couldn’t come up with anything like it.
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