Help! What now?!

You’re right, I bet there are apps for white noise. I just saw these panels on Amazon. I was looking for blackout panels but these claim to also block

In your previous thread about noisy construction work, I asked if there are any regulations in your area regarding noise. I don’t think you replied? Apologies if I missed it.

I also related the story about a neighbour here who started unexpected construction work and that I spoke to them and they agree to limit noisy work from 9 to 5, Monday to Friday.

I could tell guests that the hours of noisy work were restricted to those times and they were understanding.

It’s worth trying (if you haven’t already) pointing out that their construction is damaging your business - they might not realise that you are running a business from your home.

I was wondering if you could explain about that a little more? I’ve hosted in-home and with separate places and I’ve not seen a difference in most respects. Thanks.


The work is being carried out within the corrected regulated hours (8am to 4pm six days a week, no work on Sundays).

I have being telling guests these times.

The neighbours have made a loft conversion (very common in London, so as a resident you do need to expect this from neighbours) and are repointing the front of the house. These are big jobs
(We’re towards end so heavy stuff finished) and they are three quarters through so it would be unreasonable to expect them to make any changes. Especially when it’s really not noisy for at for building standards in London.

I know someone mentioned that it’s not relevant that I don’t think it is noisy, but the real reason I wan saying that was because I think if guests would give it 24 hours they may well change their minds as the noise at 8 to 9.30 I think is the only problem.

Three times guests have wanted/ suggested refunds but never having spent more than an hour here during the day time! One time she hasn’t been here at all and is rejecting video calls which I suggested.


You can’t understand a difference between sharing a home- kitchen, bathroom, other living space, with a guest who is pissed off, and having a pissed off guest in an entire home? It’s probably no different as far as the review the guest might leave, but having to interact daily with a disgruntled guest would be highly uncomfortable.

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I forgot to say that for me the difference between in home and not, is having to share space with a disgruntled guest, or one that could at any moment ask to talk… you don’t have the separation and space that you do if you’re in another country or even down the road, communicating on your laptop. Big difference from sharing home and not, surely?!

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Yes! I can’t understand how Jaquo sees no difference either! Just the fact that you can take time to respond when you are out if you want to, alone makes a huge difference

As I said above, I’ve hosted both in-home and with separate apartments. But maybe the difference for me is that even now with the separate apartments, I’m right on the spot. When I was hosting in-home, I didn’t allow kitchen access though.

But in both situations, I hope that I maintained the same standards. So I still don’t see how it really differs. :slight_smile:

We aren’t talking about “standards” here, but having someone in your home who may be upset with you or the situation, so it’s in your face every time you pass them in the hallway. Just imagine that it isn’t a guest, but an acquaintance, or a family member. Would you prefer that your sullen nephew, who’s pissed off because you told him to turn his video game volume down because it disturbs you, and then grunts when spoken to, and seems to be doing little things designed to annoy you, stay in your home, or stay in a separate place so you don’t have to put up with that vibe?

I have never had a homeshare guest who was upset with me or the accommodation, but if they were, I would not want to be confronted with their bad attitude in my home.

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Perhaps standards wasn’t the right word? I’m talking about my reactions to my guests which are the same whether they are in my home or in a separate place.

I treat them all the same and it doesn’t matter to me whether they are grumpy or sullen, they are guests so their mood doesn’t matter to me.

I’ve never had a guest who was upset with me either, both in homeshare or in the apartments. Maybe that’s why I can’t imagine the problem.

It isn’t a matter of how you treat guests, it’s a matter of how they make you feel. A happy, friendly guest in one’s home would be much more pleasant an experience than a guest who ignores you as if you didn’t exist, or glares at you when they see you, surely?
And if they are in a separate dwelling, there may in fact be little interaction, so if they happen to be in a bad mood when you do have occasion to talk to them, it’s just a momentary thing. That’s different than being confronted with the bad mood ongoingly.

Maybe you are someone who things just easily roll off of, or like you say, you can’t imagine it, because it’s never happened.

While I have a lot of interaction with most of my homeshare guests, some I rarely see- they are out and about most of the time, but when I do see them, they are friendly and we have some easy banter. But I had one guest who was always holed up in his room when home, and seemed uncomfortable with social interaction. He wasn’t an objectionable guest in any way, but I found myself breathe a sigh of relief when he left, because I feel much more comfortable around someone who can interact in an easy manner than one who is stand-offish.

I treat them the same too. But I wouldn’t be indifferent to bad vibes in my home. Good for you or you reckon it wouldn’t touch you, but you’re very confident about that for someone who it has never happened to! Like you really find that difficult to understand, even if you’re not that way yourself?

I don’t want this to get into a thing about who has had unhappy guests and who hasn’t, but please bear in mind it’s a numbers game and it’s only a matter of time, or numbers, before any host will meet a situation where their guest and themselves may not completely agree, or where their guest has an issue with something like building next door or something else!

It’s great that everyone has been so content with everything at yours that you’ve not even been able to understand what I meant, but I’ve had hundreds of guests in my home (I’d guess around 500), and of course there are sometimes occasions when I have to well just basically had to balance fairness all round versus not being interested in hosting disgruntled/ grumpy (or worse) guests!

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We’re going to have to agree to disagree @muddy . I don’t really feel differently about any guests. I don’t means that they are all ‘just guests’ to me, because they’re not, but a guest who ignores me is just as welcome as any other. It’s up to them.

As I said, now that I have the apartments, I see guests more often than I used to do when I was in-home hosting.

It’s all about individual situations though. My in-home hosting was in the UK and most guests were in the area for work (or study) so I tended not to see them much during the day and they didn’t have kitchen access so tended to eat out.

Now, I’m in a tourist area with great weather so guests hang out about the place more. It’s probably just me but it seems that the sun and warmth put everyone in a better mood.

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I guess it was my ex-husband who accustomed me to such things!



As you say seperate but close by is not the same at all. You have control over when you switch on and off. You might be asleep, not home, unable to respond. A knock on the door is a bit harder

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I really think we are talking about two entirely different things. You are talking about how you feel about your guests, I am talking about how a guest makes me feel. The guest I had who was not socially easygoing was just as welcome as any of my other guests and it was totally up to him to interact or not. I don’t expect my guests to be chatty- if they are, fine, if they aren’t, fine. I certainly didn’t dislike him just because he didn’t easy engage when we crossed paths. He wasn’t actively unfriendly, he just wasn’t the type of guest I am accustomed to or feel particularly comfortable around. Some people are just introverted, or may be on the autism spectrum and have trouble interacting easily with others, whatever. He got a 5 star review, because he was in no way objectionable as a guest, and I certainly would not decline him if he were to book again.

In contrast, I had a guest who told me as soon as she arrived not to take it personally, but she wasn’t going to be sociable- she had booked my place knowing it had a separate entrance to her room and bathroom, was in a quiet area out in nature, and that her intention was to do some writing and soul-searching, as she was ready for a change in her life. So I didn’t ever initiate a conversation with her. If I happened to be nearby when she came home or went out, I said hi, and smiled, but nothing beyond that, and so did she. But when we were both using the kitchen at the same time for more than a minute or two, she did initiate easygoing conversations, and was very sweet and friendly. So I didn’t feel uncomfortable around her at all.

As you say, when you home-hosted, your guests were not home much and they didn’t share your kitchen, so it was easy enough for them to ignore you or you them if that was the situation. It’s different when a host shares kitchen and living space with guests.

In any case, this was originally about having a guest in one’s home who is actually mad at the host, which is quite different from simply being unsociable or moody. I definitely would not want a guest in my home who was ongoingly blaming me for something and making that evident by their words or actions.

YOU may think so, but your guests obviously don’t. Why don’t you seem to understand that what YOU think is not important to them? If you can’t see problems like this from a guests’ viewpoint, you should not be hosting.

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Most of my threads in the forum have ended up with me being told off for basically trying too hard to see things from my guests point of view, so not sure what you mean. I’m a Super Host so obviously I should be hosting.

What are you referring to when you say ‘you may think so’? I may think that people should wait more than one hour? After they have been warned in advance? Is that a failure to understand what the guest thinks? I don’t think so

If I were a guest and had been warned in advance and chose to keep the booking anyway, I would accept the situation, I agreed to it. But as we know, all guests wouldn’t be like me.

If I hadn’t been warned, or the host had told me “It’s not that bad”, only to find that I was woken every morning at 8 by construction noise, and workers a few feet outside the window over the desk I was planning to work at all day, there would be no need to “give it 24 hours”, as the noise from 8-9:30 would be a total deal breaker for me, as would the people outside my bedroom window.

I warned her within five minutes of her booking (I’d accidentally pressed accept), that builders would be close to her window And that work would be from 8 to 4. I said it might work if you’re not going to be home much, but that If you’re planning to work from home that this ‘probably isn’t the right place for you’.
As I’ve said before, I’ve also offered her her own office room or sitting room to use.

I went through all of our messages this morning and based on the first one (above) mostly, I do feel confident in sticking to my guns on this one. I suggested she call Airbnb if she doesn’t agree with my decision. This message crossed with one from her saying she’d call Airbnb and that this wasn’t the way to run a business.

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Yes, as I said, if I had been advised of the situation, as you advised this guest within 5 minutes of her booking, and I chose to keep the booking anyway, I would know I had to honor the booking and not expect any refund for a cancellation after the fact. Unfortunately, many guests think they can accept that they might be disturbed by whatever disruption the host warns them about, and then renege on it afterwards.