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Help me write this review?

So last week I had an instant book. I always dread these, so I looked and he had one review and it was pretty much a rave review.

“Ken is awesome! I truly hated to see him leave. He is very clean,neat and courteous. I would highly recommend Ken as a guest.”

My experience with Kenny as a single woman living alone (review above was written by a male with a house with several rooms rented out) was that he was very loud (booming, outdoor voice), interrupted me every time I tried to speak, lost his key, broke my shoe stand in the mud room, lingered and was overly chatty to the point I started avoiding my own house when I knew he’d be around.

I was already fairly uncomfortable with him when on his last night, he woke up yelling “WHAT’S THAT NOISE? WHO’S THERE?” and other similar things when the house was SILENT. He proceeded to ramble on loudly and less sensibly like he was sleep walking. He got up and stomped around the house, turning lights on, left the house (it’s 11-12 PM), went back to his room, repeated this behavior twice more before leaving at 4AM this morning.

He seemed harmless the first few days, just annoyingly chatty, very loud, and rude (constantly interrupting me) and a bit careless. The last night when he woke up yelling and rambling, I honestly laid awake almost the entire night in fear that he might try to get into my room (even if he was “just” sleepwalking). Listening to every stomp and creak he made in the house, noting when he turned on the hall light and the light downstairs (I can see it through a vent in my room).


TL;DR Review I'm thinking of posting on the last possible day. Please help.

Kenny was very clean and good natured and liked by my dogs. However, he spoke in a very loud voice and interrupted me nearly every time I tried to speak, making it difficult to tell him about the house, the laundry, or even answer his questions completely. He lost his key the first day and offered to pay for a new one. After I'd gone out of my way to print new keys, he found his first one (on his keychain). He broke my shoe rack, though he did buy a replacement and left the receipt behind so I could exchange it if need be (which I appreciated).

I disabled instant book for my listing after Kenny's stay, because I was truly frightened during his last night in my house. He woke up during the night, when all in the house was quiet, yelling and then talking loudly for a while after. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying but it did not sound like he was on the phone. Rather either sleepwalking or simply ranting. He then noisily moved around the house several times throughout the night before leaving early in the morning. I don't know what happened, but I was so afraid I cannot recommend him to a host like myself. 

He may very well do better with like-minded male hosts, but I don't believe my situation was right for him.
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I feel like I’ve posted a couple times when I’ve had male guests that made me uncomfortable, so I’d like to point out that I’ve hosted MANY more guests throughout the last two years who were wonderful or even just tolerable, but never merited any concerns or complaints. I’ve also hosted several solo male guests without issue.

I feel badly because I think Kenny is a lonely, depressed, older man who is likely trying hard to fit in, but it comes across as a bit too overbearing and his night terror or whatever he suffered the last night was truly frightening as a single woman attempting to sleep in a room across the hall. :sweat:

I feel that reviews that give a laundry list of faults end up sounding like a bit of a rant - which of course, we all want to do at such times.

Anyone can lose a key and break things - that’s just a risk of doing business - and he did offer to pay for the new one. Lots of guests want to monopolize our attention and we need to learn to extricate ourselves and set boundaries (not that I’m so good at this myself)

Best to keep it simple. “Guest was clean and friendly to my dogs, but was not a good fit for me. He wanted much more of my attention than I was able to give, created a lot of noise in the home, and I was uncomfortable with his night-time rambling about my house talking loudly. He may very well do better with like-minded male hosts, but I don’t believe my situation was right for him.”

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Yes, I agree with @dcmooney. But @labonnita I know how you are feeling - I’ve had guests make odd noises (growling, gagging, sighing loudly) and loud talkers and interrupters! All very annoying, but again part of our business and we have to take the good with the bad. Good luck - I like the way dcmooney worded the review - the next question is what star levels do you give him? I don’t think anyone can see the guest stars, I believe they are just to determine whether or not someone can instant book - being the case - then I believe you should give him lower star ratings so that he cannot instant book and needs approval first.

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I am curious though. Would you have felt as uncomfortable and threatened if your guest had been female?

None of the behaviors strike me as intrinsically male or female. It would appear that there is some mental illness involved, which is also not gender-specific.

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That sounds a little scary - you must have had a bad sleep. :weary:

I agree with @dcmooney that it sounds like a rant… but don’t you feel better after getting that off your chest! Write a REALLY bad review with all the things that bugged you - and then send it to yourself!

I think you need to be careful with the review. Can you put a positive spin on it so you don’t put off potential guests while sending out an alert to other hosts? Something like: “Kenny was very clean and good natured and liked by my dogs. My key and shoe rack needed to be replaced and I’m grateful he took responsibility for those. There were some late-night disturbances so I recommend a place where the host is a sound sleeper.”

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He is clumsy, careless, and not aware of social boundaries.

I would not even bother with the shoe rack or the lost key since he did replace, and even left you a receipt for the shoe rack. I’m sure if you would have realized how careless he was you would have said “Now Kenny…hand me your keys so I can double check for myself if you lost them.” - hopefully Kenny will be more careful the next time he thinks he lost a key.

Kenny might be hard of hearing and that’s why he talks in a booming voice. If that’s the case, it could be hurtful to read that in a public review.

RE: his sleeping epiisodes. This is something I would mention in private feedback, and just ask him if he has sleep walking issues, etc. I don’t sleep walk but I do sometimes yell in my sleep. It’s brief, as I usually wake myself up, or if someone hears me - they might start calling my name. But if Kenny has the same issues…then I could see his loud booming voice sounding crazy in the middle of the night.

You could maybe say “Kenny is friendly and quite talkative. He observed my house rules.” - I don’t know. I am all for leaving a negative review when someone is purposely disrespectful. But I used to live with a few women who would not allow you to get a word into a conversation, constantly interrupting, and I couldn’t stand to be around them. It was exhausting. But I think with some people, that personality trait is ingrained in them. I could tolerate those same types for a short stay though.

Then again…it was your experience, so if you really felt like he was choosing to be disrespectful, then by all means let it fly in the review.

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I think he sounds a bit unhinged. You need to find a way to alert future hosts.
And yes, it is more intimidating being alone with a seemingly unstable man when you are a woman. And, yes a woman could be equally annoying, but the same faint physical fear is not there with another woman. Illogical as that might be.

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I like how you broke it down into a more concise review much more. I think I needed to vent to some extent. While he did replace the shoe rack, he didn’t reimburse me for getting the new key because he found his old one. Which I kind of understand that, but as a guest, I would have paid for it if a host went out of their way to print new keys for me due to my carelessness. Annoying, but I agree, not the end of the world.

To whoever asked if I’d be more comfortable had he been a woman, if the woman was also 2-3 times my size and yelling in the middle of the night, likely not. If she was similar to my size and not as loud, maybe? But that seems irrelevant to the fact that with this guest I found myself lying awake all night ready to dial 9-1-1 and/or escape through my bedroom window if he tried to come in or opened the wrong door.

I think it’s very possible he has some mental health issue that might normally be under control but has some frightening potential behavior and as a host, I would feel personally hurt if someone knew he was capable of this and didn’t warn me. I don’t think he’s a mean or BAD guy, but I think the behavior he exhibited his last night is worth being aware of.

Even if he was sleepwalking or had dissociative sleep disorder, waking someone in the middle of sleepwalking or acting out a bad dream could be very dangerous to you or the sleeper. He could also fall down the stairs or hurt himself. Also not good.

Lastly, he could hear quite well. I’m soft spoken and when he wasn’t interrupting me, he heard me just fine. I could see him getting along better with a “one of the boys” male persona who may also be better equipped to handle one of his night fits if need be, but it should still be their choice, not a surprise, IMO. He might not be aware how loud he is as he tried to offer me “cash money” to stay and one of his self stated selling points was how quiet he is. :expressionless:

How about this rewrite?

"Guest was very clean, good-natured, and did well with my dogs, but was not a good fit for me. He wanted more of my attention than I was able to give and interrupted me when I spoke which made it difficult to answer his questions and communicate necessary information to him.

His last night here, he startled awake in the night, yelling and talking loudly for some time before moving noisily about the house in an unusual manner. He proceeded to move about the house a few times throughout the night which continued to be disruptive. He may very well do better with like-minded male hosts, or a full-use type rental, but I don’t believe my situation was right for him."

Have you followed up with him about what happened that night? If he does have a sleeping disorder, he might not know.

I prefer the wording CanadianHost suggested.

I would not ping him by giving him low star reviews so he cannot use IB. That’s not fair. You should rate the guest based on their stay rather than what you want the outcome to be because you think he shouldn’t be able to use a feature.

At the moment I am rating him on his stay, not his use of instant book. His stay just happens to be the final straw that’s causing me to stop accepting instant bookings. He was rude, loud, and displayed frightening behavior that had me on the verge of calling police. I’m surprised people are suggesting I sugar coat that more than I am.

You’re doing a great job trying to be fair yet clear.

However, it sounds so personal, to me, to speak of his specific behavior - which may well indicate a mental illness or sleep issue. And yes, it sounds very frightening to me.

Are you wanting to forewarn hosts that he may be unstable, or it was frightening?

Then, perhaps, “His unpredictable, loud, disruptive behavior through the night made it difficult for me to sleep and made me quite anxious”.

Thereby you are not detailing his personal behavior line-by-line but making it clear it wasn’t annoying but somewhat frightening.

I had a guest arrive having described his children as a ‘a daughter 12 and son 16’. Well, the daughter was severely autistic, non-verbal, lurched about our home, drooled, sat under the dining room table babbling loudly (while we were visiting with her parents) and worse, screamed for about 30-45 minutes every night. It was quite disruptive to our home. I was in survivor-happy-host mode while here so never asked them “what the hell?”. I agonized over the review!! Revealing his daughter’s disability publicly felt wrong, but I had to be honest for other host’s sake. However, thanks to the support here and really taking my time I was satisfied with how I handled it. Hang in there; don’t be in a hurry.

As always I am a fan of short, yes informative, but measured responses. Yes hosts can be so helpful by being detailed in their reviews, but also run the risk of coming across uptight, and perhaps too picky, or even confrontational. Keep in mind, the whole Airbnb experience borders on a more a personal arrangement versus an impersonal one as would the hotel one, where they follow policy with the plum of an impersonal calculator. Perhaps potential guests gravitate towards hosts that in the event they screw up it will not instantly turn into an axe battle. LoL

To the case at hand. As others have pointed out, the male vs. female thing is tricky grounds to even enter, even if based on logic. Secondly, the fellow is obviously eccentric and has issues; but extremely hard to get into because most of us are not psychologists. Perhaps the following…

"“Kenny was very clean and good natured person and liked by my dogs. He does however exhibit certain habits that perhaps will not be well suited for the private sharing experience”.

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Good points - I just think something so brief will leave other guests scratching their heads wondering what the hec it means. :grin:

But I’m curious - how many gentleman reading this situation would be uncomfortable with this behavior? Would you consider it a ‘deal breaker’?

You mean other hosts right? I for one would feel this guy is a handful, a VERY high maintenance type of guest, and would definitely would not want to deal with him; male or no male.

The problem with this ‘case’ is that it is so hard to describe, because it is indeed very complex behavior and borders on medical or mental issues. (aka a total can of worms) :rolling_eyes:

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