Guests who act disinterested in the tour, rush you, and cut you off

[searchedtobelost]

Is this something worth mentioning in the review? It seems like international male travelers are more likely to do this. Is that a sexist behavior? I tried to show interest in him as a person, do the general chit chat, and he was not having it. At one point I was mid sentence and he cut me off to ask about the bus lines. I could tell he was waiting for me to “shut up” and that I was “wasting his time”.

It felt like how I feel when a salesperson at a store wants to go into their spiel and I’m not interested.

[J_Wang]

It felt like how I feel when a salesperson at a store wants to go into their spiel and I’m not interested.

It was impolite behavior for sure, but I wouldn’t bother writing about it in a review. How was his behavior during his stay? Also, it just occurred to me that some of my travelers have just spent a long time getting from the airport/bus to my place and are worn out and, more importantly, need to pee!

[Artemis]

I had one like the recently, although it was a middle aged lady. She wasn’t at all interested in any of the tour, and kept saying things like “I can figure this out on my own”. It totally threw me off my usual chatty, friendly spiel and I didn’t get to hit any of my usual remarks about the 5-star experience.

Even worse - then she turned around and gave me a 4 for check-in. I didn’t mention anything in my review to her, but I also left a very short, bare bones review that was only just on this side of positive.

[konacoconutz]

I have found that getting cut off during the greeting is almost always a sign of a guest who will not act respectfully the rest of his stay. I take it as a bad omen when it happens.

[Yana]

Some people just interrupt. Thats how they communicate.
I was once guilty of it myself. It was on one of the Greek islands when i was so tired after sleepless night and a host started to tell me the history of an island. I just asked him to let me go sleep,and then we talk.

[faheem]

I don’t know if interrupting is necessarily such a bad thing. I tend to do that myself. Sometimes I get impatient. It does depend on the situation. But if the guest also seems bored/uninterested/unfriendly and you get a bad vibe from them, that’s a different thing.

[jaquo]

It seems like international male travelers are more likely to do this. Is that a sexist behavior?

Oh, for goodness sake. It’s human behaviour. Some people are chatty and receptive, others aren’t. That’s all it is.

You’ll soon learn how to tell the difference and adjust your welcome accordingly.

[Mearns]

Is that a sexist behavior?

I am a lot like @Artemis, but now I make the intro tour like 3 minutes, and then finish with “Any Questions?”. Usually there are none and of course they wouldn’t remember any of it; actually they wouldn’t have to for I have eliminated anything and everything they could possibly be confused about.

[cs2015]

It felt like how I feel when a salesperson at a store wants to go into their spiel and I’m not interested.

That’s a great description of typical guest rudeness. Guests don’t want to live like a local they just want cheap accommodation and a robot to do their bidding.

[Marko_Petkovic]

Hey @searchedtobelost I wouldn’t bother. Your guest may have just been tired. Maybe he had another traveller sitting next to him on the plane wanting to chat the whole time so he couldn’t even sleep:)))) You never know. For my guests it usually takes me about 15 mins to 30 mins to do the apartment tour, including the time when we’re looking over a map of the city and me suggesting where to go to eat, drink and my recommendation for the day trips. Most of my guests like that.

I always ask my guests in advance what is their means of transportation. For example if I know that they will be coming by a car pretty late and from far away, I can safely assume they will be tired. In that case I address this openly, and ask them if they would like me to cut my tour of the apartment short and contact them again the next day when they get some rest. Some smile and thankfully nod in agreement. So I just send them a few links and my suggestions the next day. People seem to appreciate this.

[searchedtobelost]

He was already in town. Is staying at different places in the city to find a neighborhood he likes. He showed up at 3pm.

[Xena]

I made myself learn to interrupt when I read Rebecca Solnit’s essay, “Men Explain Things To Me,” and I realized how often people older than me were lecturing me on things I am an expert on and they are a novice. I used to just sit there and politely nod and wait for my turn to talk, minutes later.

[searchedtobelost]

Anyone else notice how it’s males in this forum who are disputing whether or not the behavior is sexist? Because they’re experts at being women?

[jaquo]

Anyone else notice how it’s males in this forum who are disputing whether or not the behavior is sexist?

I was disputing it and I’m not a male

[Xena]

Sexism is one of the topics I’ve received the most lectures on! (One of the college classes I teach is women’s studies.)

The guest behavior may or may not be sexism (which is most often subtle than open bigotry, though open bigotry exists too), but it is a reasonable question to ask, as gender does shape all of our social interactions. Look at all the discussions on this forum about male guests chosing pretty female hosts!

[searchedtobelost]

My apologies. Your screen name looks like a masculine name.

[jaquo]

No problem

I am Jackie and Jaquo is the name of my website.

[JamJerrupSunset]

I think you need to pick up on subtle queues when meeting guests as to how little or how much chit chat they want. Start by asking “how was your trip?” or “how are you going?” so if they are tired, out of sorts or need to pee they can tell you.

A typical sign they’ve had enough of your spiel is if they start looking over your shoulder at the door, unpacking and not responding or making eye contact, or moving you subtlety to the door. It is entirely their choice and I leave them with a “I’ll leave you alone now, just get in touch by text or knock on my door if you need to know anything”. I’ve get 5* reviews for arrival 97% of the time.

To be honest I think I learned all this from many (much younger) years of one night stands and knowing when to leave asap the next morning (and visa versa) rather than hang around for breakfast

[searchedtobelost]

I’m at 98% arrival in my newer room (40 reviews) and 92% in the older room.

[Louise]

I’ve stayed in many hotels, hostels, rented cottages etc and must admit I don’t see the need for a “tour”. If I come across something I can’t figure out, I’ve found the answer by contacting the host. A printed sign for things like garbage/recycling rules or what you don’t put in a septic are all I’ve found necessary. I leave maps etc on the table. Guests who need help are given it, some just like to do their own thing.