I think it is so easy to point fingers after the fact. I don’t know the age of this creep, nor what culture he is used to…but I find it difficult to believe he has navigated this world - interacting with other people on a daily basis, yet he doesn’t know the difference between politeness, and the opposite sex showing interest.
I believe most of us can say we have been in the awkward moment of someone standing next to us, and all of a sudden asking for a hug goodbye. It could even be from someone of the same sex. I can recall a couple of times in my life reaching out to hug a friend (same sex) to say goodbye (moving out of the area) and running into someone I hadn’t seen in years. In those two instances I was taken aback by how my friendly hug was not welcome. These were not just acquaintences either. These were people who I spent many hours (over years) hanging out with, but we had just never “hugged.” And believe me, I could feel their energy immediately. My hug was not welcome to them, and I am certain the OP sent the same energy to her creepy guest.
Creeps like this guest will try to find any way to “accidentally” brush up against a woman’s breast, try to sneak in a kiss, etc.
Even if the host declined going to get coffee, this guest most likely would have found another way to have his stay end with the same scenario. He probably would have still hung around the kitchen counter while she was washing dishes. He most likely still would have sat next to her outside while she was smoking. Let’s not forget that before she went to smoke, she politely “hinted” he needed to go ahead and get ready to leave, as she was going to be getting ready for the day.
I don’t know how many of you - when he said “its always sad to leave…well I guess I’ll go…can I get a hug?” would have thought quickly enough to respond with “No thank you. I don’t want to give you a hug.”
I can also see if this scenario ended differently, that the host would have been blamed for overreacting to something she only suspected. Let’s pretend that nobody went for coffee and nobody did dishes, and she just went out to smoke in the morning, and he followed, and sat very close to her. Then let’s say that the host immediately got out of her chair, put out her cigarette, and said she was going to get ready for the day. And then guest takes his shower and approaches host to say goodbye, and asks for a hug. She declines, and he leaves. Then he leaves a very odd review complaining about this and that. But in reality he is pissed because the host completely avoided any of his subtle advances. Then the OP comes on this board to express her frustration about how she feels he was just retaliating but there is nothing she can do about getting the review removed.
I can see other commenters saying she shouldn’t have read too much into a guest asking for a friendly hug…and why does she just assume he was making advances on her. And then someone else would say that some people just have different boundaries with “personal space” - (which is true), and she shouldn’t assume that just because someone sits too close that it means they are physically interested in her. Then someone else would say she sounds like such an unfriendly person, and maybe she shouldn’t even host since she is so paranoid about males - and she must have such an inflated ego to think all men want her…Sigh…
