I know, right? My first reaction was to say “Are you f’in kidding me?!” But I was concerned that using the F word would get him aroused. 
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Hehehehe,i am having so much fun on this forum:joy:
is he at least cute? Are you single? If he is cute and you are single… who knows , may be you could be a match made in a heaven even if temporary. Age is just a number:)
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Definitely report this creep and do NOT EVER go out with a guest unless you actually want to! What is wrong with you?
How was his review? Kidding not kidding, but yes, the too-friendly guest can be a problem. I read not realizing it was about guy-girl stuff, but the too-friendly can also apply to just any guest regardless of that guy’s kind of intentions. It can be awkward because as a host, wanting to your guest to have a great experience can be misunderstood for something else.
You handled it well! You can report it but I’m not sure there’s much they’ll do.
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Nothing is wrong with @OlyCandice. She handled a horrible situation, one where she did nothing wrong, entirely appropriately.
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@yana, you are a trouble maker- LOL!
@taylorcat, I try to be friendly, but not too chatty. I work from home, so keep “business hours” when possible and will come down at the end of the day to say hello if they are downstairs, offer them a beer and see how their day has gone. I like to cook and always let them know they are welcome to anything in my kitchen. I’ll leave a note if I prepared a meal and save it in single serve microwave dishes so I can freeze it if not eaten. But I don’t hang out with them like I am a buddy. The last thing I would want is for a guest to feel I am intruding on their stay.
He did receive a brief negative review. In my case, this was the tip of the iceberg. He was eventually asked to leave by the police for multiple other reasons and the advice of forum members here was very helpful.
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I sure as hell hope Airbnb will do something. She was assaulted by the guest.
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You forgot, is he rich? 
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Mearns, cute is for one night stands; rich is for the long haul. (Joke)
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Hahaha. 
…
Spending time with a guest one already feels uncomfortable with outside of the Airbnb and then waiting until they are touching her repeatedly to state boundaries is entirely appropriate? The guy would have been politely cut off at the second text message if it were me.
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This is victim blaming. The guest assaulted the host. He is a predator who took advantage of her polite nature. She did NOTHING wrong. He did EVERYTHING wrong. In what other crime than sexual assault does the public dissect everything the victim did?
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I understand your point, and I have also been a victim. But if a guy hits on a woman - attentive texting, asking her out, playing with her hair, asking for a hug - all with the victim’s consent, is it a horrible leap to go for a kiss? Not a grope or rough handling, but a kiss? Almost all my kisses in my entire history began exactly that way - a ‘date’, some flirting (the hair thing), some hugging, then a kiss.
Thankfully he heard the “NO” when it was finally said. I’m not blaming anyone, I can just see that he thought he was flirting and it was being reciprocated. Ya’ll may want to beat me up for being honest, but it seems to me that, going for a kiss after all that flirting would be natural. If the woman says “no” and he quits, and apologizes, then it is just possible that he was misreading the situation. As I’ve said, most of my ‘first kisses’ happened after a first hug.
As I’ve said, I’ve been a victim, and that assault didn’t look anything like this. It looked very, very different. No conversation, no coffee, no request for anything.
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Nancy, you do have some guts, and I couldn’t agree more. The fellow of course was way too lechy no doubt, but perhaps is one of those situations in which one better cut it off at the earliest pass, before a person gets the slightest wrong idea. Especially this type of guy, he has the sensitivity of a Mack truck. Needless to say, hindsight is 20/20.
There is a certain type of guy (NOT all guys) who will keep pressing his advantage until he hears a hard NO. Women are socialized to be pleasant and non confrontational, so we often give a soft no in the form of cues.So even if the woman thinks she is giving out “not interested” cues, they guy doesn’t see, or maybe doesn’t acknowledge, those cues because he thinks there is still some wiggle room.
In this case, they guy started asking for little things, all very plausible. And the host states that she is normally very friendly and willing to interact with the guests. In her mind, it’s part of the hosting duties. In his mind, he is making progress. So he will start to escalate the requests into something more clearly romantic instead of plausibly deniable. Once it became clear to the host that he was making an overt romantic play, she did make a very clear hard NO. But up until that point he hadn’t done anything that can be 100% proven as romantically intended, though the hair thing was a little creepy.
The host did nothing wrong by being a good natured person. She had no intent in her mind that she wanted to achieve any goal, other than being a good host which is what she signed up to do. She was not deceiving the guest in any way. The guest had an intent that was outside the normal purview of this business arrangement and he used deceptive tactics to try to achieve this goal. The blame lies squarely on his shoulders.
My suggestion for the future is to find a way to say a hard NO sometime early in the conversation if someone seems like they are pressing too much. A boyfriend - real or imagined - is always easy to drop into conversation. And don’t feel ashamed for saying no either - you don’t owe the guest the pleasure of your company for a cup of coffee or any other social interactions.
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Hi @dcmooney,
Congratulations on being brave enough to express this probably unpopular viewpoint. As a lifelong nonconformist, I’m always drawn to the independent-minded, minority point of view.
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I don’t know if you’ve been in a situation similar to OlyCandice’s, but I was many times in my twenties, and I didn’t realize I was being hit on until someone kissed me or groped me. Sometimes, it was a new friend or coworker. Another time, it was on a crowded bus, and it was very similar to what happened to Oly: after a seemingly normal conversation, the man asked for a hug, which seemed innocent enough, but he then kissed me and grabbed my breast, and I was trapped in my seat, and I was so shocked I didn’t really realize what was happening until the moment to say something had passed. I am impressed Oly was able to say no so quickly!
As @Artemis noted, young women are encouraged to be pleasant and agreeable, and my friendliness has been interpreted as an invitation for unwanted touching. Some inappropriate people are very skilled at manipulation, and start out innocent, and then when you realize they’ve crossed your boundaries and you say “NO!”, they act like you led them on, call you a nasty name, or act like you made the whole thing up. I am now very good at being “unfriendly” and telling people I don’t want to talk to them, but I always feel guilty after because I’m going against my instinct to be friendly in order to protect myself.
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Gross. For those of us that would never consider Airbnb as a potential hook up site…eew…
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Some people need to be hit early with a sledge hammer to get the point across. 
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Well done, Nancy. You’ve said what I’ve been hesitant to say because everyone was so adamant that he was the bad guy and the OP was a poor victim. I was reluctant to give my own point of view in light of the overwhelming cries about reporting him and sexual assault. (Shame on me).
Years ago I had a job that involved me going into people’s homes - often single men - and have been in far worse situations and never thought of it as sexual assault. These things happen.
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