Good and bad guests?

Oh my Lord Cabinhost,
I missed your post above so had to edit. Wow. So I thought I had issues. Stickers? Clay? Broken sofa bed, and please do tell how it is even possible to put a hole in a bath mat!! It is true you aren’t around to suffer so much of the emotional turmoil, but woah, coming back to find that kind of destruction would have my nerves frayed. And I am not surprised to hear that it was the people with three kids that just thought they could use your place like a jungle gym. It’s true. It is sickening. Just because they treat their own home that way, it doesn’t mean others will be so happy to have their home torn up. I would cry as soon as they arrived, and feel upset the whole time.

In regards to the cultural thing, I lived in Singapore for a couple of years, so I am pretty familiar with the Chinese and other Asians that lived there, and from other travels throughout Asia (Philippinos, Malaysians, Vietnamese, Japanese, Indians). I have to say, that the Chinese themselves are incredibly racist and elitist about their own culture, they look down on white people, and actually all other cultures, and the behavior in my home is unfortunately very similar to what I experienced while living in Asia. There was no desire on the part of the Chinese to be helpful in any way to a white person living in Singapore, and I would often encounter barely disguised hatred. Things such as asking for directions to the bathroom in a department store, and the staff that worked there saying they had no idea in a disdainful way, only to walk a few meters and find it was just there. Singaporeans speak good English or what they call Singlish as it has some Singapore slang thrown in, so it wasn’t language difficulty. They treat their maids (usually phillipino, some Malaysian, Indian) worse than the family dog. Regular people can afford them there, because it is practically as cheap as slave labor. You can keep them in a room without windows, and not even large enough for a bed (kennel size). And pay them hardly anything. I’ll never forget the day our agent took us to the condo we lived in and excitedly told us the horrible little closet with a tiny window looking into the garbage shoot area, and right next to all the noisy A/C’s was a 'GREAT! maids room, because usually they have no window! '. We’d never think of treating people like that anymore, as we’ve finally become aware (at least in some ways, of human rights), although this isn’t strictly true either. But this really was a whole other level I had never seen.

My conversation was really about the respect Chinese have for others, and I believe from what I have experienced, they’re not taught the same courtesy or manners, and many dont seem interested in being considerate. This is certainly not a rule, as my experience is small, and I haven’t met every Chinese person, and it certainly does not account for Chinese people that grew up in the US, or have spent time here learning our culture. Anyone can end up entitled if not given boundaries.

I did enjoy my visits to Hong Kong and China. Very interesting, and lots of beautiful places to see in China. Lots to be proud of. I do think the one child policy, (which has really resulted in a ‘one boy’ policy -over 60%, as boys being more prized were kept while girl children aborted or left in orphanages) has caused parents to spoil their little princes rotten, wanting them to become the successful kings they hope them to be, after all, their old age depends on this child’s ability to support and care for them. I believe we got a spoilt little prince. As far as the girl? She cared for no one but her prince and herself. Not ideal guests in a home type airbnb. I can’t speak for others.

On experiencing racism elsewhere, I also experienced it in southern India. Despite adopting the modest local dress and behaving respectfully (unlike many travelers who offended the pretty strict religious region we were in), the owners of the home we were renting the top floor of for a couple of weeks (they lived below) could barely disguise their distaste for us. Of course, I smoked Cuban cigars occasionally near the front gate of the garden area. Things came to a head one evening when my husband and I got attacked when a group tried to steal our MacBook outside the home. I got punched in the head, and got knocked out for a minute as my head flew into a cement wall. We struggled in safely, but scared, and asked for help from the owners. The man wanted to help, but the woman looked at me with disapproving hatred. She left the room, and I sat there alone with the husband, who was now in a very awkward spot, because the woman had shown she wouldn’t sit in the same room as me (the others were trying to get help from the police). Finally after a couple of tense minutes, the husband had to tell me to wait outside on my own in the dark, dizzy, in shock, and now turned away by the people that couldn’t stand me for being western and having a different religion/caste.

Now that went way off track. Sorry.

Sandy,

So glad you weren’t hurt with the racist Indian situation. The good and bad of different cultures!

Speaking of the elitist attitude of some of the Chinese. The girl I traveled with from Hong Kong absolutely did not like it when anyone mentioned she was Chinese. She had to let them know she was from Hong Kong, not China. She only wanted to be associated with Hong Kong. And her vanity was unbelievable. The constant looking in the mirror and making sure every hair was perfect was incredible.

Yeah…I don’t have to worry about people invading my space and getting under my skin under the same roof. I am really surprised about all the stories I read with those who share their homes. No idea how the bath mat towel got a hole in it. It was in the washer when they left, and the cycle was run. I suppose it could have happened in the wash but I think they threw it in there with other items in the hopes I wouldn’t notice right away.

OMG. It’s going to drive me totally insane. Another couple of Chinese guests just left. Sanitary napkins, unwrapped, stuck to the lid of the bin! I had to put on gloves and peel them off. For God’s sake - is this not just a basic hygiene and manners issue. I provide an extra supply of bin liners, the bathroom cupboard is stocked with sannitary bags to dispose of these items and the welcome note which is left on the dresser says ‘please take your rubbish out to the main bins when you leave!’ What can I do?? Do they seriously expect another person to clean up this kind of personal and revolting mess? Please help!!

Dear Guests,

Thank you for staying with us recently. As my house rules clearly state that all rubbish should be removed on departure I can only conclude that you left this in error. I have therefore returned it to you.

All the best, and hope to see you again soon.

Wilburforce.

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Oh Wilbur. I’m so sorry. It is very true, some guests will not read your rules, almost willfully ignoring them. My Chinese guests did this also. I don’t know what to say. But JFK, nice one!

Cabin, I absolutely believe you about the Chinese guest pretending not to be Chinese. Our Chinese guest did something that I thought was very very odd. She claimed in their review 'we’re just a young couple from NEW YORK CITY (never seen it written that way haha), but in reality, they lived in Jersey, and you could easily go to her profile and see that. I couldn’t work out why she did that, other than she thought it more prestigious and it gave her more credibility to knock me down. Insane.

On types of guests, again my middle aged guest hypothesis has come true in an enormous way this weekend. I finally worked out what they were playing at in the middle of the night last night. Had me so stressed I couldn’t sleep. They didn’t respond at all to my welcoming message, also offering an upgraded room at no extra cost - we would just have to make the change, by having them accept the changes etc. When they didn’t respond, I booked someone else in the room I offered them (after a lengthy wait). Well, picture this, when they arrived (after letting themselves in and scaring the crap outta me), they started looking worried and saying you got our message about the upgrade right? I of course said no. Next morning, the husband is complaining loudly about his sleep, trouble getting used to a different bed etc, and my husband told me that he clearly was still acting out because they didn’t get the upgrade that they had never asked for. It struck me what the whole show was all about!! These people seriously decided when getting my message about an upgrade, that they would NOT respond, and then act put out, and hope that their disappointment would result in a discount because of ‘my error’. Except, there was no error, I was pretty disgusted that I didn’t hear from her for days, and I have been horrified with their behavior in our home the whole time behaving like weirdos, just to scam me for a few extra bucks off, just like you see people do for free meals and other stuff! Finally when the husbands whining didn’t work yesterday morning, my husband put an end to it by letting him know it wasn’t acceptable behavior. This morning they are behaving normally. I guess they got the picture that the game wasn’t going to work and decided to try to enjoy themselves instead.
I am horrified and gut wrenched that someone would do this. This was obviously planned as a good idea a week before the trip, and as soon as they got the offer of the upgrade. They must have said ‘oh, no, let’s not answer that, and if when we arrive they can’t give it, they’ll feel bad when we say we said we wanted it and have to discount it when we act unhappy about our room’ (they acted upset about staying in the beautiful room they booked originally, and pretended not to know they had a shared bathroom - come on now, you book the cheapest room, you share the bath). I think only middle aged people that have been taking advantage of these kinds of scams across US restaurants, complaining wherever they go hoping for a freebie or a discount would try this. They are the same age as my husband, (52), but couldn’t be more different. New Jersey suburbanites, and just wow. If the Weinsteins from NJ come a knocking, just say no. I’ve heard about these kinds of people, but it is altogether different having some in your home, treating you like someone to game out of a few bucks.

Sandy,

Yes it is very sad the lengths people will go through just to get a discount. I didn’t get a chance to respond to your post yesterday. But if it were me and I had messaged you to accept the upgrade, I would have pulled my Airbnb account up to view it, and see if the message was there. Or I would have looked in my sent folder from gmail if that is how I had responded to you. The fact that they didn’t make any effort to see if something was wrong with Airbnb’s system speaks volumes.

Isn’t it weird how you just can’t pinpoint something but then you finally figure it out in hindsight. I read recently on another forum where an Airbnb guest was complaining about all these tiny things and making them appear like big issues. Then she said she wanted to rent the apartment at a later time with a discount - after all they had to suffer through all these imaginary things.

I even remember reading once where a guest complained about the blades of grass in the yard being too long…wow - I hope that’s the worst my guests could ever come up with.

Yeah I know Cabin. Especially because in the beginning I believed them because I had been so surprised by the lack of communication, that I kept asking, how did you respond? Through airbnb, email, text? And when she said airbnb, I said, no, it definitely didn’t come through and that is highly unusual as it has never happened before, she started to look a bit less certain about carrying on with the scam, especially because perhaps she had seen that she’d caused me moments before to almost have a heart attack when I rounded the corner and found her wandering around my living room, it took me a couple of minutes to calm down after the shock. But the husband, who marched out of the kitchen area (not shared), completely unapologetically was determined to push that they had written the message, despite not being the one who had written it. I pushed further. Was it from a mobile device? Sometimes there are glitches? Oh no, she said (totally missing the opportunity), she thought she’d written it from her home desktop. But she’s looking less sure about this. However as I am showing them around, it’s a very weird situation. Suddenly they’re not sure about the room they were excited about booking during their first message with me (and presumably read the listing on and looked at the pictures for). They like the room after all, but it’s a bit disappointing that they didn’t get better, it’s all a bit, instead of moving on and we can be happy because, Hey, this is after all the room you booked and paid for and chose to stay in, they won’t let go of the fact that they had expected something better (even though they haven’t seen the ‘better’. They started doing things I had never seen. Tapping on the door ‘is this a…room or’, no it’s a large walk in closet’, ‘oh’. What’s …on the other side… of the wall. Well it’s mostly your closet, and partially the other rooms ensuite. Oh. Disappointed faces. Looking agonized and out out. Off to show them the bathroom. As you know it’s shared I say. ‘Oh!’ They act surprised, and it’s so obvious they’re not, and the woman keeps repeating over and over, oh, this is fine, this is fine, as if it’s not and quite really what they expected but it would do. It was just awful. I’ve never had a walk through like that. All of my guests are usually happy, excited, and interested in the beautiful home as it has many lovely features. I was really livid. I couldn’t work out what was happening. Confounded for days, especially when the guy was still doing it yesterday, in front of other guests no less. Can you imagine, putting down your room and bed to the host in front of other guests? My husband knew he was manipulating my him by claiming discomfort. Having never personally come across it, ii took some time to work out that it was money back that they were after. I feel like it is such a rotten scam to play on people.

If only I could tell you how I spent the two days before. Slaving on hands and knees to prepare a perfect home. I made their room like a fairytale. Flowers, a little orchid in a golden China dish, delicate linen sheets selected especially from my collection, a delicate antique French hand knitted blanket on the bed, with down duvet folded at the bottom in case it gets chilly (or they crank the AC), beautiful pillowcases with long crocheted edges. Absolutely dreamy. Silver tray with beautiful decanter with water and glasses, linen towels, every surface shining. I took special care because I knew they were older and would be picky. Of course I did all the rooms, and some right now are so upsetting. One has wet towels on the bed, wetting the down duvet, and wet washcloths strewn soaking the wood of an antique chair. I guess they didn’t think it worth putting them on the hooks I clearly ask them to use?

But after the effort, this behavior is like a huge slap in the face. To walk around (she did note it was beautiful), but still insist on the performance was so degrading to me, that I have felt very stressed that people feel it’s ok to do this to people, and they will treat others so unkindly, just to grab an extra few bucks back in their pocket, that they spent without any provocation.

Of course I have messaged them since and had replies. They can see their message is not there. No apologies. And there won’t be one.

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I feel your pain Wilber. I had to pick up used condones once. Yuck!

I just cracked up at your stereotypes (agree with a lot of them). We often say the same things about different nationalities - I’m English, my husband’s American, we met in Aussie, and married in NZ, so we can relate. I hope noone takes offense by the way, we can all laugh at ourselves I hope.

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I know Aliseaside. I’m an Aussie, we know what we’re like and don’t mind admitting it :joy:. I’m also in the old category now, well not quite, but after 3 years of airbnb I feel like it!

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I definitely am in the old category, and I admit it. We are burned up and worn out for sure. Want to buy a B&B on the beautiful Oregon coast?

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Lol! Want to buy a huge historic home in the Hudson Valley?

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Stephanie, I cannot “condone” leaving used condoms! ewwwwww! I would prolly let the guest know that was completely unacceptable… ??? What animals…slobs…

agreed kona. i gave him a poor cleanliness rating and bland review. he was really young. early twenties.

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There are so many other miserable things that people do. One of my friends just came back from Miami and was little upset about the place where she was staying. The room she was allotted with was stinging badly and when she went in the washroom what she sees were the scattered sanitary napkins and tampons all over the floor. Rather than using those products, women should opt for menstrual cup which are very hypo-allergic and reusable. Have a peek at this site for more information.

You are a very entertaining writer, Wilburforce! Glad to have discovered this forum, especially where I am relatively new to hosting, as in, since the summer “season” here in Maine kicked off this past June. It’s probably a good thing, because I may have spent more time venting on this forum than turning over the rooms haha. From the middle aged couple who claimed in their inquiry that they were eager to explore and hike nearby Acadia National Park, checked in, promptly disrobed, and had sex in the swimming pool, oblivious to our mower who was out in the yard, to the group of four Chinese (two couples) guests who recently checked out after four days of nonstop yakking at the top of their lungs, I have seen a lot in a short period of time as a host. The sex in pool couple, who appeared to have never hiked more than to and from a buffet table (my mower, a salty old dog from Bar Harbor, who is shocked by nothing, fetched me from the house as a witness - I can never unsee the spectacle of their post coital bobbing in the water as one with our pool noodles) were finally driven out by a sudden thunderstorm. An act of God. I messaged them that this is a family property, not a “romantic getaway,” and perhaps not a good fit for their needs. Her response was, “where do we refill our water bottles?” (?!!!) - how about the swimming pool! Ours is a very large, old historic home, and we are renting out only 3 of more than 30 rooms. The Chinese were so loud that we could hear them three rooms and closed doors away from their digs. After three straight nights of this, I actually recorded their noise through the third closed door. Along with incessant stomping up and down the stairs in their private quarters, and slamming of doors until the wee hours. Rather than say anything, I simply tolerated it, figuring it wouldn’t do much good anyway. They became unglued when I collected dirty dishes in the common room, which they had left for a day of sightseeing, and washed them in the dishwasher, and cleaned the table they had strewn with crumbs and leftover food. Brown banana peels in the bin, when there is an outside container in the car park area where they left from - hello fruit flies! “We need everything back, NOW!” was the command. Does that include the brown banana peels and the fruit flies? They did leave the rooms reasonably clean, but gave me a four star review with no explanation. Perhaps it was the antique chair that they broke, was not sturdier? Back to the pool, I shocked the water twice and ran the filter for three days straight, after calling Airbnb customer support to complain. The couple left under cover of night, and it was with great trepidation that I entered the room and peeled back the covers. Everything was fine there, and Airbnb removed their nasty review. I learned the hard way that if anything is amiss with a guest, call Airbnb to go on the record without further delay.

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But you… not so much! Maybe edit and add some paragraphs?

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Welcome to the forum. Yeah it is “interesting” how some groups behave on vacation. On the bright side, Americans are great by comparison :rofl:
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Please note - the topic you replied to is 5 years old.

I offered to volunteer to lock old threads and was told that it wasn’t necessary. I think otherwise.