For laughs, funny note

I think so. I’ve been flogged by an unhappy chicken. I can’t imagine what it is like to be flogged by an unhappy turkey or the entire rafter (flock) joining in.

What does a turkey do when flogging—here is a poorly photoshopped example. Lots of real videos on YouTube.

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All true. If a guest is careless enough anything can happen. I am always mentioning that food should not be left in cars, as we have bears. Folks understand that. Also, do not reach into vegetation, you may frighten a snake.

We have lots of wild turkeys here, and I would not recommend getting close to them, they are big.

Regarding deer - folks who hit a deer with their vehicle are well advised to not try to rescue the deer. They have sharp hooves and powerful legs.

Way too many hunters/venison connoisseurs here. If the car in front of them hits a deer they leap out of their cars, track it down, put the poor broken deer, out of its misery, click their heels in joy and have a deer that doesn’t count against their limit.

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Ticks. Lizards carry ticks. Mice and any other warm blooded animal do, as well. Pets that go outdoors bring in ticks and fleas.

We have lots of lizards but no ticks, thankfully:)

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I understand God created each animal for a reason. Zoologists state that every creature has a purpose (e.g. scavenger, food for something else, clean out brush-goats, snack on bugs, etc.). I have never understood why ticks are here. I think ticks are a mistake of creation. They are disease carrying mini-vampires. Birds eat them but there are a bounty of other bugs they could eat too.

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We have humans. Spare change in the console & fashionable sunglasses entice them.

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Ah, Annet - yes, that would definitely attract humans!

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How about mosquitoes in that category? They have shaped and altered entire civilizations, everywhere, throughout time

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Oh my goodness!! Come to New Zealand, there are no moose, coyotes, bears, snakes of any kind, tarantulas, or rabies.

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What I want to say and what I have to say and what the questions really raise in issues? Well.

I want to say that we typically sacrifice guests in yard to the wild animals as a trade for peace with the area wildlife. But try that on a google translator, it doesn’t feel the same.

What do you have to say? Well it depends on what you have time for, and whether or not your listing description is approaching having to get a book deal with Amazon.

Legally required? Yah that does bring up the fact that bringing up all the bad guys means that they forget there’s a lot of good guys. We had guests who got bit by an ant and asked for medical kit, which was hanging in the tent. I sat there, for an ant bite, and gave, the local hospital distances and locations, that they can call for Urgent Assistance after hours at the listed number inside the manual. That we are not doctors and we can’t diagnose or help you with your ant bite. I’m not really clear on the application of medical aide, and what results from that outside of referring them to professionals. Especially since ants do not draw blood. I grew up with ants, so I’m not dead yet, and no one I know of is dead from them. But sure, here’s some iodine and don’t hurt yourself on the alcohol swabs.

If people really want to put out an EPA list of the animals in their area, the next question is will I see one of whatever they pick out. I ask them not to bring them here. No one has seen anything but you may see them. And if you do, let us know. LOL.

Oh, I almost forgot. So the guest is describing what bit her, and she clearly describes, what’s possibly the scariest thing she saw. Which looks like a dragonfly, has giant transparent wings, and flutters around, with the lights. She’s the first person I’ve ever met that ever got bit by one. And her symptoms and the site bite, was ant looking to me. Just one.

One guest claims she saw a scorpion. We don’t see them at all during the year till the peak days of heat during the summer. We had seen a potato bug in the outhouse, and escorted him off the premises. They aren’t the prettiest of bugs either. So we empathize how scary they may seem. But they are completely harmless. Then we had a guest that needed help with the fire, and a scorpion came out. I took one of the skewers I had laying around in the fireplace area, outside, and I stabbed it, and showed it to them and said, Survivor Man, and burned it in the fire. I’m sure they’ll leave a review because I screamed like Arnold Swartzenegger in the Predator Movie, covered in mud from the tree, camouflaged with a fire raging in front of me. No biggie. All in a day’s work.

I tell them stay on the trails and in human areas, stop stomping around on the wild plant areas. Don’t wander. That’s what they do in Parks, that’s what we do here.

To truly do the issue justice, really, if you are concerned about bugs. Is the good and bad bugs list. Too bad the local parks don’t sell them laminated because that would be beyond perfect. Pictures are any language, post them in your bathroom or shower and be done with the issue.

But the real problem is the guests. The real problem is that when nature does its thing, and say you have a pluming or eruption of animal, plant or insectaries, because of heavy rains or perfect conditions and the population explodes, they have absolutely no dignity and will demean you for anything they notice in nature, while on the outdoor toilet.

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Your rant is exceptional HolidayOJ!!!

I have one more comment to add about local critters which are NOT disclosed: due to sometimes having tarantulas, we do see tarantula wasps which live in symbiosis with them. They are flying fascinating tarantula killers and have the 3rd most painful sting in the animal kingdom…

Dangerous animal disclosure: Doberman Pinscher, very friendly

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I thought you all walked around with weapons at the ready ?!! Gun laws seem to be fairly relaxed in the US.
I am semi serious in my question I must note!!

I do not believe in owning guns. The initial question about needing a gun was fairly innocent, I think! Members of my husbands family apparently think they are ok. The proliferation and collection of guns in the Us is really terrifying ( to me) .

I’m happy to hear that. I’m from Australia and I definitely don’t want the attitude here to guns that seems to prevail in the USA.

Lucky for you some of the leadership in Australia is rational.

The words simply do not do the picture justice aye? LOL. What a cutie. For the people who are terrified of pooches, I always remind them that this pooch is the frontlines security for wild creatures. If there’s anything alive and moving around, they will find it.

I was smugly reading this thread and congratulating myself that the worst we suffered was feral cats until I read this: